My Yearning Heart
by TheAnimeFicWriter
Summary: Blake and her mother have such a good relationship together. Things have always been great for them, but something is bound to happen that the two of them will never see coming
1. Chapter 1

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 1

My Life

**Note:** Here's another new story for you guys. This one is definitely going to be a bit of a stretch since I haven't really ventured into this area before so be sure to wish me luck. I hope you guys enjoy and be sure to let me know how it goes.

My name is Alexandra Belladonna and I'm approaching my 40's. Life hasn't been too bad for me. There's really nothing that I can complain about. I was given a beautiful baby girl and now, she's grown up to be an even more beautiful young women. Unfortunately, the man who helped me with this task left me for another woman which made me raised her all by myself. However, I enjoyed it this way. I was able to show her everything. I guided her down the right path and I always get to see her smile. Since, it's just the two of us, we get to share everything with each other. As she's gotten older, it doesn't even seem like she's my daughter, but more of a little sister.

Right now, she's attending a private school called Beacon Academy and is entering her second year. As for me, I was lucky enough to find a job there as the school nurse. That job isn't very taxing. I always get someone in there asking for medicine or is feeling really horrible. I try my best to be open to everyone, but there's always those few who ask me for weird things. Being the nurse, I have a lot of down time on my hands and sometimes, it's hard for me to stay awake. Thankfully, coffee keeps me up, but this is where the students get weird. They walk into my office and ask me for coffee, completely out of random. Personally, I know that coffee isn't very healthy, but I choose to drink it anyway. On the other hand, I try my best to not give them any so that they don't acquire an addiction.

Other than that, everything is perfect. My daughter always visits me in my office which always puts a smile on my face. Even though she's getting older, she still has time for me. This was a sign that I did something right. Now, all I can hope is that the rest of our days together will remain like they have been. No surprises, but things that the two of us can handle together.

…

The first day of school finally came around and Blake and I made our way to school. As we made it to campus, she immediately ran to the front gate to meet up with her friends. They hugged each other and had smiles on their faces as they reunited after a long summer. Something that surprised me was that they waved back at me. Apparently, I wasn't weird enough to avoid a simple hello from my daughter's friends. I calmly waved back and made my way to the teacher's lounge.

When I got there, a small meeting took place to make sure that everyone knew what they were doing for this upcoming year. All I could do was smile and sip my coffee. The first bell of the day rang and everyone departed. I grabbed my things and headed off to my office, better known as the nurse's room. I quickly grew a love for that room. There were nice, big windows on the far side of the room that opened up to the sport fields. Inside, there were four beds and tons of room to move around so no one would feel claustrophobic. In the far corner was my desk where I spent most of my time. Since it was the start of the year, there wasn't really much to worry about. All I could do was sit back and wait for something to happen.

Half of the day went by and nothing happened. Everything was going according to plan. Why would someone come in on the first day of school? Suddenly, the lunch bell rang and I could hear the sound of doors opening from inside my room. I braced myself for what was next.

After a few more seconds, my door slid open and in ran a whole bunch of students. They all had their lunch and smiles on their faces. They screamed my name and ran right at me. Ever since I started working here, my room was always a place to eat lunch because occasionally, I brought food for those who forgot to bring lunch. And apparently, they just liked to eat with me.

As lunch went on, I overheard all kinds of conversations about summer and how everyone was busy having fun. Some of them went to the beach while others got to travel around the world. Honestly, I was a little jealous because all I did was stay at home and do nothing. Even though this may seem pretty boring, resting over the summer is smart since the school year can get pretty hectic. I looked up at the clock and saw that lunch was about to end when my door slid open again. I turned my head and saw Blake walk in with one of her friends.

"Hey mom, I don't know if I introduced you yet, but this one of my friends I made. This is Yang." At first, I couldn't believe it. This girl was beautiful. I mean, she couldn't compare to my daughter, but she was definitely beautiful.

"Hello, Ms. Belladonna. Blake talks so much about you so I was wanting to meet you."

"Well, here I am. How are classes going for you?"

"Eh, not too bad. I wish I was taking different ones, but what can you do?" I smiled.

"How about you honey?"

"Pretty good. Yang's in a couple of my classes so that's a good thing."

"Oh, that's nice." Suddenly, the bell rang to return to class. "Alright, everyone, get out of here. You don't want to be late after lunch."

"Bye Ms. Belladonna."

"Is your room always like this?"

"Yeah, I still don't really know why." Yang smiled. "Well, it was nice to meet you Yang. I hope we can see each other again."

"Please." The two of them walked off and I shut my door and walked back to my desk. I totally realized that I didn't even get to eat my lunch. I chuckled to myself as I opened up my lunch and began to eat.

For the rest of the day, nothing else happened. I eagerly waited for some kid to walk in with some of injury of illness, but no one did. I had a feeling that this year was going to be a pretty easy year for me. The last bell rang and everyone made their ways off campus. I packed my things and locked up for the day. As I did, some of the students said hello to me as they walked passed me. I said hello back and walked to the front gate where Blake was waiting with one of her friends. As I neared them, I noticed that it was Yang.

"Hey mom!"

"Hi girls."

"Is it alright if we walk Yang home?"

"Sure, do you live far away?"

"Not really. From what Blake tells me, I actually live pretty close."

"Oh really? Then let's get going?" As we started to walk, the two of them immediately struck up a conversation. I couldn't get them to shut up they were talking so much. I was actually quite impressive. Usually, high school kids don't talk this much. They're usually on their phones or just silent, but they were talking. I couldn't help but pump my fists. I taught Blake right. Social interactions are so important in this world and she was doing it perfectly. They talked all the way until we finally made it to Yang's house. As said goodbye to her, she leaned against Blake's shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. After she made it inside, we headed home, but I was still curious as to what happened. "Um, Blake, what was that?"

"What was what?"

"Don't you what me. Why did Yang kiss you on the cheek?"

"Because she's my friend." We made it home and Blake quickly ran to her room, but I was able to stop her before she could.

"I know you're hiding something from me."

"No I'm not."

"Blake, I know it may not seem like it, but I've been your mother for a long time. I know when you're hiding something from me." I walked next to her, but she bowed her head to avoid my eyes. "You gonna tell me what it is that you're hiding?" She was silent for a second, but my constant staring worked in the end.

"Okay, okay! Yang and I are dating." There was a long pause. I know I said that I didn't want any surprises, but this was definitely considered to be one.

"I see," I said calmly.

"You're… not mad."

"I don't really know how I could be. I had that phase when I was younger. The more important question is this: Does she make you happy? Can you make her happy? Do you two actually love each other?"

"Um, mom, that sounded more like questions than question."

"I know, but those are all important. Can you answer those with an honest answer? If you can, then there's no point in me being against it." Blake took a deep breath and finally looked me in the eye.

"She makes me feel like the happiest person in the world. I constantly try to make her happy and she appreciates my attempts. Also, I've never felt this way with another person before. She's just so perfect. I don't know why, but she just is." I smiled and started to walk towards me room. "Was that honest enough?" I stopped and chuckled to myself.

"You're making dinner tonight. Haha!" I quickly ran to my room as Blake whined.

It was hard to believe, but I had to accept it. This was Blake's first love so mistakes were destined to be made. However, if she was truly in love with her, I would be there to support her and Yang. Fortunately for her, she has someone like me. When I was young and in love, my parents were never around and they didn't even want me to fall in love. So I promise to make her first relationship something to remember; both good and bad.

After we finished dinner, which was delightful, we headed off to bed. This was by far the worst time of the day for me. When my ex left me, he took nothing with him except for his clothes which means that I was forced to sleep on a king-sized bed. I hated it. It was comfortable, but I hated it. The feeling on loneliness filled my room. I've been contemplated on switching out this bed, but for some reason, something is telling me to keep it. Especially after hearing about Blake's relationship, that thing is telling me to keep it even more. I stared at the ceiling, tossed and turned, and waited until something finally felt comfortable. The thought that comes every night never seems to leave me alone. I never know how to answer it and it bothers me until I finally fall asleep.

Is it too late for me love to someone?

End of Chapter 1

**Ending Note:** I hoped you guys enjoyed this new story. Be sure to let me know what you guys think. Also, be sure to check out the special story I have planned for this Sun March 15th. It should be good. Anyway, thanks for stopping by and more is on the way.


	2. Chapter 2

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 2

I Don't Want Surprises

The next couple of days were alright. Things were slowly returning to how they normally were. A couple of students visited my office, both with actual conditions and others just trying to get out of class to see. Even though this made me feel good, I had to send them back. My job as the nurse was to help the helpless and if they didn't need help, there was nothing I could do for them.

At the same time, I noticed that Blake and Yang were spending a lot of time together. Normally, I would talk to her about this, but there was nothing wrong. The two of them were preforming perfectly as students. Their attendance was perfect and their classwork was above average. I couldn't say they were spending too much time together when they know they weren't. They had their priorities straight which made me want to support them even more. It's just strange how a girl in high school is taking her relationship very serious without the immature behavior of high school students. I did my job as a mother so I'll just go ahead and pat myself on the back.

…

Today was a fun one. A kid came in saying that he was nailed in the face by a soccer ball. I quickly took him and laid him down on the bed. I checked his head, eyes, nose, and mouth and luckily, there was nothing wrong with him. I simply gave him an ice pack and told him to rotate the position of it every few minutes. I checked on him from time to time and once I saw that he was healing, I sent him on his way.

However, before he left, he turned around and stared me down, asking if I would date him. I couldn't believe it. I was speechless at first, but he quickly apologized. Apparently, my face told him that I was traumatized and that he said his friends dared him to do. Once I heard that, my heart began to beat again. I took a deep breath, patted him on the head, and sent him out. I walked back to my desk and pulled out my sticky notes from my drawer. I out another tally on it and sighed. I then turned around and saw the window with 2 sticky notes on it. All of those tallies were of students asking me to date them, both real and fake.

Yes, there have been some students who have actually had feelings for me. They've been both boys and girls. No matter who they were, I had to turn them down, but the weird thing is that every time it happens, I get even more surprised. One would think I would get used to it, but no., it's quite the opposite. I don't know why so many people have done this too much. I'm so much older than them so why? I don't that some do it as a joke, but for those who were serious, wasn't there something inside of them that told them no? A relationship like that just shouldn't be. There are so many available young men and women out there that shouldn't resort to me. As I continued to think, that thought from when I fall asleep suddenly made its way back into my mind.

Is it too late to love someone?

I quickly shook my head. I may be alone, but I'm going to fall in love with some high schooler. I'm not that desperate. I turned around again and to retract my eyes from all of those tally marks. However, I couldn't help but wonder why so many students were asking me.

During lunch, I decided to close up and head to the teacher's lounge. There, all of the teachers were eating lunch and talking amongst each other. Some of them noticed me and joked about how I never ate with them. I couldn't help but smile at that little crack. It was true. I never ate in the teacher's lounge. I always offered my room as a place for students to feel welcome and just spend some time together.

"So what brings you here, Alex?"

"I don't know. I just felt like getting out of my room for a bit."

"Haha, you're in there quite a lot."

"Yeah, and I here students go gaga over you." I widened my eyes. They actually knew about that? Since the topic was brought up, I had to ask.

"Do any of you get requests like that?" No one spoke. They were confused by my question.

"What are you talking about?" I immediately grew nervous. They obviously had no idea what I was talking about. I sighed and did my best to come out with it.

"Over the past year, students have come up to me and asked me to go out with them." Out of nowhere, everyone busted out laughing. I knew it was hopeless.

"You're kidding me, right? That's ridiculous."

"Yeah, I think you're just exaggerating." I opened my mouth, but immediately pulled back the words. It wasn't worth trying to defend. I simply left the room and returned to my happy place. When I got there, there were students sitting outside my door eating their lunch. I asked them why they were there and they told me that they were waiting for me. I felt bad so I quickly opened up my room and everyone filed in like usual. Luckily, there was some time left until lunch was over so they tried to make the best of it.

The strange thing was that Blake didn't visit me. To be honest, it wasn't a pact that we made, but it was nice seeing my daughter during the day. When lunch ended and there was no sign of her, I did my best to stop worrying about it and move on. For the rest of the day, it was pretty quiet the kids who had a free last period decided to visit me, but other than that, no one else came by.

When school ended, I closed up shop and made my way out when I got a text message. It was from Blake saying that she was heading home without me. I was confused. Why would she leave without me? Was there something she had to do without me knowing? She's not normally one to hide things so I just made my way home with minimal amounts of thought on the situation.

When I got home, I knocked on the door to make sure that she was actually home. It took a couple of knocks, but Blake finally responded to me. I then walked through the door where Blake popped out of the living room. The weird thing was that her hair was all messy and her uniform was half buttoned up. I was afraid to ask what was going on, but when I walked further into the house, I saw Yang sitting on the couch with the same look as Blake. The pillows were on the ground and there was a weird smell in the air.

I nearly threw up as I continued to think about it. Did they just… no, don't think about it. Just let it go. It can't be as bad. Anyway, as long as it wasn't a guy, it was fine. Oh my God, what am I talking about? Either sex in this house was against the rules. I grabbed Blake's arm and pulled her to the back of the house.

"What the hell were you two doing?"

"N-Nothing. We were just studying," she said with a nervous look on her face.

"Uh huh, and why are you all sweaty?"

"It was hot."

"Blake, you know there's a thing called an A/C that you could turn on. And also, why is she here? You know you can't have anyone over without my permission." She looked down. I knew I had her cornered, but it just didn't feel right. I was turning into a mom at this point in time.

"I'm sorry mom. It just happened. I'm sorry." I sighed.

"There weren't any guys, were there?" She shook her head. "I'm not gonna let this go lightly, but I forgive you for now. I don't want to see this happen again."

"Okay, I'm sorry." She fell into my body and hugged me. I had nothing else to do, but hug her back.

"So what now?"

"Would it be alright if she stayed for dinner?" I immediately pulled away and gave her a dirty look. "I will accept any sort of punishment as soon as she leaves for the night."

"Alright, fine." She ran back into the living room where I followed behind her. When I made my way in, I noticed Yang looking at me. I looked at her and then turned away. The way she was looking at me was a little weird so I tried to avoid eye contact.

Dinner was alright. I tried not to make things awkward, but Yang managed to make things feel more awkward than ever. Her eyes were constantly looking across the table in my direction. For some reason, it was hard to look at her so I just stayed quiet and looked at my food. The atmosphere was so tense that I could barely take it. I finished up my food and left the table. After a few minutes, the two of them finished their food and started to pack up. When I heard them make their way to the front door, I finally came out again to say goodbye.

"I hope you enjoyed the food."

"Boy, did I? Thank you Ms. Belladonna."

"Of course," I said nervously. She was still looking at me with that look I can't describe.

"Well, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Alright. Thank you for having me."

"No problem. Come back any time." Immediately, I regretted saying that. It was just a host's way of being polite, but something felt different. Blake closed the door, but I managed to catch Yang's glance towards me one last time. It sent chills down my spine as Blake turned slowly and bowed her head.

"Okay, I'm ready for my punishment." It took me a while to snap out of head.

"Right, you're punishment. Clean the living room and kitchen and then you can go to bed."

"Huh? All of that tonight?"

"I'm tired. Good night." She couldn't argue with me. I was right and she was wrong so she quickly got work and I didn't see her for the rest of the night.

In my room, I was too busy to fall asleep. I was thinking about everything that happened today. That request, Blake's mysterious behavior, Yang's mysterious behavior; everything was jumbled around in my head that I couldn't find peace. Thinking about these things was even worse than thinking of the normal thing I usually think about. I smacked my face a couple of times, hoping that it would clear my mind, but it didn't. I simply shut my eyes and tried to do nothing. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was Yang's face.

Why?

End of Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 3

Why is This Happening?

The next day had a bit of a rough start. I slept past my alarm which caused Blake to wake me up. Thankfully, she did because I was afraid that what happened yesterday would cause her to ignore me. It was quite surprising. When I opened my eyes, I saw Blake above me with a smile on her face, telling me to get up. I looked at the clock and saw that it was low on time. I got ready as fast as could, but making sure that I was somewhat presentable. I may be a teacher, but I do have to look good. Once I was done, we made our way to school with just enough time to spare. I headed to my room, got everything ready, and crashed on one of the beds.

This is so strange. I never sleep past me alarm. Was last night really that much a struggle to fall asleep? All of a sudden, an image of Yang popped up in my head again which caused to shoot up from my back. What the heck! Why did that just happen? I can't be thinking about things like that. I'm a professional. Just take a deep breath and everything will be perfectly fine.

I got up from the bed and walked back over to my desk. Maybe I just need some coffee. Oddly enough, my mind told me one thing, but my body told me another. I felt tired, but coffee just sounded like a horrible idea. I walked over to the fridge and pulled out a water bottle.

I guess it's going to be one of those days.

For the rest of the time before lunch, nothing really happened. A girl came in saying that she had a major headache. I gave her some medicine and let her stay until she was starting to feel better. It didn't take her long before she left, but before she left, she stopped at the door. I was wondering if she was actually okay so I walked over to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

"Sweety, are you okay?"

"Are you okay?" She suddenly turned around and grabbed my hand off of her shoulder. "I can be the one for you. You won't have to worry about anything anymore." I couldn't believe what was happening. It was happening again. "Please. I have feelings for you. You do share those same feelings for me?" It was actually starting to hurt me on the inside, seeing all of these students trying to confess their love for me. I gently let go of her hand and looked her in the eye.

"I'm sorry, but I'm just the school nurse. Nothing more. I can't give you what you want." She suddenly bowed her head as tears started to fall from her eyes. "I'm sure there's someone out there for you. It's just not me. Feel better, sweety." She turned around slowly and walked off in silence. I watched her and only felt bad for her.

Why does it have to be like this?

Lunch finally came around and the usual routine took place. I opened up my door and students from all over filed into my room. Still thinking about what happened, I did my best to put a smile on my face and not show that something was bothering me. Today, Blake decided to visit me. I still thought it was a little weird that she was acting as if yesterday didn't even happen. Unfortunately, when she walked through my door, she brought someone else along with her. It was Yang.

"Hey mom. How are you feeling?" I was confused at first.

"I'm fine. Why would you even ask that question?"

"I don't know. You overslept this morning and that's not something you normally do so I just wanted to make sure that everything was alright."

"Everything's fine. Don't try to sound like the mother in this relationship."

"Haha, sorry." I turned my head to try and strike up a conversation when I noticed that she was already looking at me. It was hard to tell, but it seemed as if her eyes never left my face. I couldn't think of it besides from awkward. I don't know if she had a staring problem or if there was something genuinely wrong with me. I was so tempted to tell her to stop staring, but the bell rang and everyone packed up to leave. "Alright, bye. I'll see when school's over."

"You better." She left the room with a guilty smile. On the other hand, Yang gave me a suspicious look that I could never forget. What was wrong with that girl? I mean, at first, she seemed like a sweet girl, but after all of this, I'm not so sure anymore.

Once everyone cleared out, I shut the door and returned to my desk. Just when I thought my mind was clear of all this crap, they just happened to return. Suddenly, a thought came to my head. Maybe it was something I did. I did barge in on them as they were "finishing up." Just thinking about that sends chills down my spine. My own daughter having sex in my house. I jumped out of my chair and headed towards the door to get some fresh air. I slid it open and was immediately intercepted by a familiar student. It was Yang.

"Yang, what are you doing here?"

"I don't feel so good." I couldn't deny her after hearing those words. I pressed my hand against her forehead and noticed that she was burning hot.

"Oh jeez, go ahead and find an empty bed. I'll be right with you."

"I don't think I can…" Out of nowhere, her eyes closed as her entire body started to fall towards the floor. Luckily, I was fast enough to stop her before she could. I put her in my arms and carried her to the bed. I tucked her underneath the sheets. I felt her forehead again and it was still hot. I went over to the other side of the room where all of the medication was.

It was probably a fever. I shuffled through the rows and medicine until I found the right thing for her. After that, I grabbed a towel and soaked it in hot water. Once all of the preparations were complete, I walked back over to her and placed the towel on her forehead. She still had her eyes closed so I didn't want to pressure into taking the medication. I just pulled up a chair next to her bed and made sure that she was alright.

It was so strange. Just a few minutes ago before lunch ended, she seemed fine. I wonder what came over her. I then checked her cheek which was still quite hot. If things remain this way, there won't be much left I can do. She'll have to go to the hospital and get a check-up.

I waited by her bed, hoping that things would take a turn for the better, but she still wouldn't open her eyes. I checked the towel and noticed that it was starting to cool down. Right as I tried to reach for it, her hand snapped out from underneath the blankets and grabbed my wrist.

"I never knew you were so gentle with your patients."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I'm not a big fan of gentle women, but you might just do."

"What?" I felt her cheek. It was completely fine. I removed the towel and felt her forehead. That was also fine. I looked at her face and it looked fine. Did she just fool me? "Yang, are you trying to skip class?"

"Of course not."

"Then why are you here? I know you're not sick… now."

"You don't know why I'm here?" The way she was talking to me was starting to get really irritating. It was almost as if she knew like some childhood friend or something. I turned away in frustration.

"Yang, tell me why you're here or else I'm gonna have to kick you out." I heard rustling from behind me, but I couldn't turn around. Out of nowhere, her hand caressed my cheek as she made me face her.

"I wanted to see you." My eyes shot wide open as she started to get closer. I quickly slapped her hand off my face and jumped out of my chair.

"Get out!"

"But…"

"I said get out!" She didn't say anything else. She slowly climbed out of bed when the door slid open again.

"How is she?!" It was Blake.

"I'm fine. Thanks to your loving mother, I feel as good as new."

"Phew, that's good to hear. Now, come on. Last period's about to start." She headed out the door. Right as she passed me on her way out, she placed her hand on my butt which made me jump. However, when I tried to grab her hand, I felt something else there. It was piece of paper. Because of this, I was unable to stop her and she managed to escape my grasp. They closed the door behind them which made me alone again.

What the hell just happened? I threw the piece of paper on my desk and simply stared at it from across the room. What is that? Do I even want to know what it is?

For the rest of the day, I spent my time on my feet, constantly staring at that piece of paper. Time flew so fast that I ended up getting a text from Blake asking me where I was. I decided that this was too important. I told her to go home without me. She didn't question my response which left me to my thoughts.

A simple piece of paper should be causing me this much trouble. However, it's not the paper that's causing me so much trouble. It's the way it was presented. It was the person who presented it to me that makes things difficult. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. It's just a piece of paper, nothing more. I walked over to my desk and sat down, still eyeing the paper. I picked it up off the table and unfolded it slowly. I don't know why I decided to read it because it only made things worse.

"I can't stop looking at you. You're so beautiful. From the first moment, I haven't stopped thinking about you. Do you know what love at first sight it? Do you want to experience it with me?" I put my hand over my mouth and looked away. Out of all the confessions I've experienced, nothing has ever made me feel like this. I wasn't feeling sick or disgusted. I was shocked, more so than I've ever been before. I skimmed through the rest of the message until I reached the bottom of the page. "Yang." My eyes shot wide open as I nearly fell out of my chair.

How is this possible? Why?! She just met me _and_ she's Blake's friend. How could she feel this way towards me when she doesn't even know me?

It just wouldn't end. I grabbed my things and decided to head home. On the way back, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't think, I couldn't think; I could barely even breathe. That letter left such an impression on me that I don't think I could ever forget about it. After some time, I finally made it home where Blake was waiting at the table, ready to eat.

"Hey mom, dinner's ready."

"I'm sorry honey, but I don't feel so good. I'm just gonna head off to bed." I trudged through the house until I made it to my room. I closed the door behind me and immediately headed to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and waited until the steam filled up the entire room. I then stepped inside and tried to let the hot water wash off my worries.

Is this some sort of punishment for my husband leaving me? I don't deserve this.

End of Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 4

I Need a Break

It was Friday and that morning started off pretty similar to the previous one. I was dead on my bed and Blake had to come in and wake me up. Unfortunately, I felt like shit so I told her that I was going to call in sick. At first, she checked to see if I was sick, but it wasn't like that at all. I just couldn't go to school today. I did my best to walk her to the door and then I watched her head off to school. I called the school immediately after and they cleared me for the day. I was actually kind of surprised I got off so easily since I was the only nurse on campus. When I returned to my room, I knew it was going to happen. I was no longer tired and couldn't spend my day in bed any longer. I got ready and decided to head into town.

I didn't really have set goal so I just wandered aimlessly until something caught my attention. Right from the start, I wanted to find some place to eat breakfast since I skipped out on dinner last night. I also kind of felt bad for making Blake wait for me even when I didn't even eat with her. After I found an eatery and did my best to finish up the food, I returned to my purposeless journey to clear my mind.

I eventually found myself wander into the city mall. There wasn't anything else to do so I just decided to go with it. Since it was a week day, there wasn't a lot of people there so I just decided to find a bench and think about nothing. However, the things that caught my eye were a displeasing sight. Everyone there was a couple and I'm not even exaggerating. All of the girls were in their boyfriend's arms and the guys all had smiles on their faces. I even saw some same sex couples and they still looked happy.

It was impossible to keep looking. The reminder about my own life was too much. I was getting too old for love and I knew that there wasn't anyone out there for me. I know it might sound pessimistic, but it's very realistic.

"Excuse me, miss, are you here all by yourself?" I turned my head to see an older gentleman. I couldn't help but stereotype him on the spot. He was definitely older by some years and he carried a suitcase like some high-class rich person. Also, the way he approached me made it seem like he wanted something "special." Unfortunately, I didn't have time for him. I told him I was waiting for my friend and he sadly walked off.

Why couldn't that happen to me with a younger man who was handsome? All of a sudden, a strange thought infiltrated my mind.

Am I even completely straight? I mean I like guys, but I've never thought woman are disgusting when it comes to love. Is that the reason why I'm like this? I'm only thinking about guys? No, it can't be. I can say that I'm bi-sexual, but I know that only a man can make me happy. Again, another thought came to mind that made me think even more, more than I intended.

A man was the one that made me sad for so long. A man was the one who made me raise my daughter all by myself. Is that what I call happiness? I know I can't stereotype men just because one of them abandoned me, but I don't know if I can handle something like that again. When it comes to love, men aren't as compassionate as women. Women show love more than anything. If they truly love someone, they'll give them everything. I was like that when we were married, but then things happened and now I'm all alone. What can I possibly do now? Is there anything for me to do?

I was thinking too much and it was all because I was at the mall. I quickly left and tried to find something else. When I looked at the clock, I was shocked that it was already 3pm. School was about to end and I still didn't feel rested. I'm sure Blake will be fine without me. I set my mind on one thing and did not turn back. I found the first bar I could and tried to have a good time. Before I started to indulge myself, I texted Blake and told her that I was going out for the night and for her to be safe and smart. After that, I did everything in my power to not have a care in the world.

Now, I'm not a drinker in any way so for me to lose track of society is pretty easy. I ordered the first thing I saw and it immediately punched me in the face. It was so strong that I barely even knew where I was. Thankfully, that bar a policy where they would keep everyone inside until it was obvious that they had at least 75% mental awareness. I didn't really know what that meant, but I did know that I could trust them.

When I took my first drink, a girl came up next to me and said that I was quite ambitious. I was confused, but she quickly told me that it was the strongest drink in the bar. Unfortunately, it was too late to take it back, but I had a great time after that.

"So what brings you here today?"

"Oh, I've been feeling kind of down so I thought I'd try something new."

"Haha, well, you picked the right place. I'm Cinder."

"I'm Alexandra. You can just call me Alex."

"So what do you do, Alex?"

"I'm a school nurse."

"Haha! You're setting a great example by doing this."

"What's the worry? It's not like my students would see me. I nurse at a high school so there's nothing to worry about." I finished the drink and ordered another one. When I took that next sip, that's when I started to feel a little woozy.

"Dang, you know how to drink."

"Are you kidding me? This stuff's like water to me." I raised my hand and another one came sliding towards me. Now, I was starting to lose track of everything around me. I looked around and saw some people dancing over at the other side of the room. I kicked out my chair and decided to join the fun. I didn't know what I was doing, but I was having a great time. Everyone there was having fun and cheering as more and more people joined dance floor. "Hey Cinder, would you mind getting me another one of those drinks?"

"Heh, you want another one?"

"Of course, it's party time." She smiled and shook her head.

"Jeez, you are one crazy lady." She walked back to the counter and got my drink. When she walked back to me, I quickly took it from her hand and gulped the entire thing.

"Wooo! Let's party!"

"Yyeeeaaahhh!" The entire bar exploded with cheers and loud music. For me, it didn't seem like time passed at all, but eventually, Cinder walked over to me and said that she was heading out for the night. I don't know why, but I sprawled out towards her and hugged her like an idiot.

"I'll see you… again sometime."

"Okay. Enjoy yourself." She walked out and I was left alone again. However, it didn't feel like it at all. The people around me were keeping me company. This was exactly what I've been wanting. I never knew adults could feel like this. Since this was probably going to be the last day I could ever do this, I wasn't going to waste it.

I danced, I talked, and I drank. No one cared about the other. All they wanted to do was have a good time until it was no longer possible for them. Personally, I was surprised I was lasting this long. Apparently my not being a drinker was just a false idea about myself.

After some time, time was nothing to me, but a nuisance. The only thing that was left inside my head was: Should I have another drink? The only reason why I asked this question was because I was quickly starting to lose balance. I could barely stand up and my vision was starting to get a little fuzzy. However, I heard someone yell "bottom's up" which caught my attention. I turned my head to see a group of people toasting about something and then drinking three swigs in total. I couldn't let them beat me which made me go all in. I walked back to the counter and asked for another drink and gulped it just like the last ones. Right as I did, I hit my wall. Everything started to shake, my legs wobbled, and I absolutely had no idea of what was going on. The last thing I remember was me falling to the ground.

What… a… night.

End of Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 5

The Truth

Ugh! I feel like shit again. I might have gone a little too far with the drinks. But… I feel better. I'm never gonna do that again, but it was definitely worth it. I can see why people do that to rid themselves of their worries. It definitely worked for me even though it kind of kicked my ass in the end. Wait, where am I? I must be sleeping. I better not be on the floor of the bar still. I opened my eyes very slowly and immediately saw someone right in my face. It took me a second to gain full consciousness, but when I did, it felt like this person was kissing me. I quickly threw them off and sat up. I was on a bed. I looked around the room. This wasn't my room. Wait, who is this person? Suddenly, they switched on the light and I gasped in shock. It was Yang.

"Hi Alex, how are you feeling?" I couldn't respond. I didn't know what to say. Where was I? Why is she here? What does she think she's doing? "Your lips are so soft. I couldn't hold back the urge. I wanted to experience them for myself. I hope you don't mind." That's when I snapped.

"Of course I mind. You just kissed me. What the hell is going through your head?! You're a high school student and I'm an adult. This being totally irresponsible." I had to pause to collect myself. I still needed to ask one important question. "Where am I?"

"You're at Great Times Bar. You collapsed last night and I brought you to the back so you could rest."

"Wait, what?! _You _brought me here. Why are you even here? It's illegal for minors to be in a bar like this."

"Well, my dad's friend owns this place and he always lets me hang around here. And plus, this is technically my room you're in right now." My eyes widened as I jumped off the bed

"You know what, I don't even care anymore. I'm leaving." I grabbed my bag and tried to make my way to the front of the store when my wrist was grabbed from behind. I turned slowly to see Yang looking at me with big eyes and a serious face. "Let me go Yang."

"Didn't you read my letter?" I was falling into her trap with no escape route. I had tough it out and tell it to her straight.

"Yang, you're a student and I'm a teacher. No matter how you think about it, we could never be a thing."

"What are you talking about? Of course we can."

"Are you stupid?! You're already dating my own daughter and you should consider yourself lucky that I don't tell her about this little incident."

"But…"

"No, I don't want to hear any more from you. I will be completely honest with you, and this is coming from the bottom of my heart. I will never be able to return your feelings. I'm sorry." All of a sudden, her grip on my wrist was broken and I was able to escape. I quickly left the bar and returned home.

On the way home, I realized that I had returned to reality. Problems and worries continued to pile up on me. Peace was never an option for me. Peace is just an abstract idea that humans can never achieve.

But what was that all about? What was she doing there? Was that really her room or was that part of her act? I can't believe she kissed me in my most vulnerable state. I mean, how low can you get? That's just unforgivable. What does she hope to gain by all of this? I'm an adult and she's a student. It's wrong so why am I still thinking about this? It should done and put away somewhere where I can never find it again. Yet… I want to think about it. Why? When I got home, I lazily walked through the front door where Blake was right there to welcome me back. She wrapped her arms around my body and squeezed me tight.

"Oh my gosh, I was so worried about you. I wasn't sure if you were coming back or if you were hurt or what, I don't know. I'm just glad you're home." I smiled and hugged her back. I guess I'm the daughter in this situation.

"I'm sorry. I had to clear my head. I take full responsibility for my horrible behavior."

"I don't care about that. You're safe and that's all that matters." She's definitely the mother right now.

"I'm gonna head to room if you want to let go of me." She shook her head. She stayed where she was and wasn't going to move for anything so we shifted across the house until we finally made it to my room. There, she finally let go of me and jumped onto my bed. "What are you doing Blake?"

"We're gonna talk about what you were doing last night." I laughed. This was really happening and there was nothing I could do. I walked over to my bed where I sat next to her and awaited her questions. "So where were you, young lady?" She sat up straight and had a stern voice so I decided to play the part.

"I was at Great Times Bar. I was trying to clear my mind and I got a little carried away. I'm sorry for worrying you." She crossed her arms and looked away. I think this was where the silent treatment starts so I decided to climb to the other side of the bed and wrap my arms around her neck and hug her. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again." she turned her head and peeked her eyes at me.

"I'll forgive you… if you take me shopping." She jumped out of bed with a huge smile on her face.

"But I just got home." She immediately returned to how she was before. I had to let her have her way with me or else this would go on forever. "Alright. Get in the car."

"Woo! Okay, I forgive you." I mustered up what strength I had and inched my way to the car. This was definitely going to be a long day, but I had to put up with it. It was my fault for bringing this upon Blake so it only makes sense to make it up to her.

When we got to the mall, there was no break time. She pulled my out of the car and dragged me through the endless hallways of the shopping mall. She didn't have a goal or anything so a lot of our time was spent just wandering around, hoping she would find some store that would catch her attention. For me, it was horrible. I was so dead and could barely walk. I was just surprised that I was able to do the things I was doing. I guess this was where the "power of the mom" kicked into gear.

Finally, she found a place and pulled me in. I didn't care what it was. I just wanted this to be all over. She grabbed everything she could find and went into the fitting room. This was probably the only time I was given a rest. I found a chair next to the fitting room and tried my best to enjoy those few seconds I had. Unfortunately, it only made it worse. Before I shut my eyes, I spotted someone walking passed the store. She was staring right at me which caused me to look back at her. It was Yang.

There was no way she was following me. It's just a coincidence. Just forget about it. Everything will be alright. I shook my head to clear it out and when I looked back up, she was gone. I took a sigh of relief and leaned back in my chair. Right as I did, Blake ran ready to buy whatever she had. I quickly took her to the cash register and did the rest of the business. Surprisingly, that was it. She hugged my arm and said that we could go home. I wanted to scream to the heavens, but I didn't have that kind of energy. I simply smiled and we went home for the day.

When we got home, I immediately stormed off to my room where I slammed my face into my pillow and tried to remain perfectly still. Although my body was starting to relax, my mind was still wandering.

Yang. She kissed me, and in my most vulnerable state. Why would she do that? Isn't she dating Blake? I understand that it wasn't anything serious, but let's be real. She's a high school student and I'm a grown woman. What does she hope to gain by stealing a kiss from me? All of this thinking was too much. I turned my head to look at the time and saw that it was getting pretty late. I climbed out of bed and walked to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I turned on the shower and waited until it was nice and hot. When I got in, the thoughts just kept on coming. I wanted them to go away, but I had a feeling that that just wouldn't be possible.

Ever since Blake introduced me to her that one day, these strange things have happened. There can't be a correlation between those two, can there?

I stood underneath the shower head and looked at the floor. Out of nowhere, I raised my hands and placed them on my breasts. It's been so long since I've felt anything in here. It just feels so empty. "What's lost can never be found." I'm starting to believe that saying was true. I then travelled down onto my pelvic area where it was the same story. It's been so long since someone's made me feel good. The last time that happened, the one who I did it ripped out my heart. A tear rolled down my face as I dropped to my knees.

Why do I feel like this? Is there something wrong with me?

End of Chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 6

My First Actual Patient

**Note:** I hope you're all enjoying this story. For me, things have been going pretty. I'm actually way ahead. I have things planned way in the future yet I haven't gotten to the writing part so that should give you a hint of how in depth this story is going to get. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy another update.

Another week of school started and I was finally back to my old ways. I stayed away from alcohol and stuck to coffee. I know that that isn't much better, but I'd rather feel hyper-_ish _than completely lost. Once we got to school, I quickly went to my room and got everything ready. For some reason, I felt really anxious about things. I don't know why. No one's come in yet with something serious which is a really good. However, I hate being bored so deep down, I want something big to happen where I can make a difference.

Usually, mornings are always the most boring time of the day, but something happened. It wasn't quite the things I was hoping for, but it was a thing, nonetheless. It was Yang. She walked in with a pained look on her face as if she was about to throw up. I couldn't deny her now.

"Yang, what's wrong?"

"Uuhhh! Do you have menstrual cramp medicine or something? It's really killing me!" She slammed her head against the door.

"Hey, don't do that. You'll only make it worse. Here, I'll get some for you right now." I walked over to the cabinet and shuffled through the tons of medicine stored inside. As I did, I could hear Yang's constant moaning and nearly busted out laughing. I know those cramps hurt, but she was making it seem as if it was the end of the world. After searching through so much medicine, I finally found and pulled out a good enough amount and handed it to Yang. "Take these, and you should be feel better after a couple of minutes."

"Ugh! Thank you." She grabbed the medication out of my hand and slowly made her way back down the hall.

"Do you need help or something?"

"No, I'm fine," she said with a weak voice.

"Well, if it gets worse later on, just come back and I'll give you some more." She didn't say anything else so I closed the door and went back to my regular things. Before I did, something struck me as odd. After all of this weird stuff she's done, she didn't do anything this time. She just asked for medicine and walked off. I wonder what's wrong.

Ugh! What are you talking about? That's it. Nothing else. You did your job so you should leave her be. Why are you thinking about this any further? You're a teacher; act like one.

After that, nothing else really happened. When lunch came around, the room lit up like always. Blake visited me, but Yang wasn't with her. She mentioned how something was bothering her so she decided to stay in class. I knew why, but decided not to say anything to her. Stay on the topic of Yang, I asked Blake how they were doing. She didn't go into much detail, but she said that they were alright. Just judging by the tone of her voice, it definitely didn't seem that way. However, since we were at school, I decided to let it go and pick it up later. Before lunch ended, an announcement was made over the PA reminding teachers that club activities were beginning today. Unfortunately, this meant I had to stay and make sure none of the athletes got hurt. However, this might be the kind of excitement I've been waiting for.

Once lunch was over, I quickly urged people to leave so I could prepare for the possible incident that was bound to happen on the first day of club activities. I still don't know why I was so excited about something like this. I shouldn't be hoping for students to get harmed, but it would really make my day.

When school was over, I was pumped. All of the beds were made, the cabinets of medicine were organized, and everything was spotless. All I had to do was wait. Thankfully, my room had window that opened up to the athletic field so I was able to keep myself busy. During this time of year, soccer was in full swing. I wasn't a huge fan of soccer, but it was better than staring at my empty room.

It was difficult to follow what they were doing, but I did my best. I followed the ball and person dribbling it. Yes, I do know some soccer terms. It was quite impressive to see how skilled some of those kids were. However, my excitement didn't last. As they were doing a little game, a kid slide tackled into a girl, sending her into the ground. After that, she didn't get up. This caused me to rise from my chair. After that, I heard distant screaming and I knew that it was from that girl. I quickly slid open the window and jumped out to see what had happened. I got there in great time, just as they were about to call my name. I knelt down beside her and saw that her leg was all cut. I instructed the students to wrap in with something until we could get her back to my room. They grabbed their towels and wrapped it as tight as they could. After that, I put her in my arms and ran her back to my room.

Once there, I gently laid her down on the bed and prepared the necessary things for her injury. I grabbed disinfectant, cotton swabs, and warp; lots and lots of wrap for her leg. When I returned to her, I saw the towels were redder than before. I had to move quickly. I removed the towels and used the cotton swabs to wipe her cuts with disinfectant. Because of the severity of her injury, she screamed a little as the disinfectant was a little strong for her. I continued to wipe it down until I saw that the bleeding had slowed. After that, I gently wiped it down it with a wet towel and finished it off by wrapping her leg as tight as I could with the wrap. I took one last breath as I was finished.

That was definitely a little too intense for me, but I got through it.

"How are you feeling? Better?" She smiled and nodded her head. "Great, you did a great job at not panicking."

"Haha, thanks. I'm used to this sort of thing. It was just that you used something really strong."

"Sorry. It seemed pretty serious so I just wanted to be safe. You know the saying right?"

"Mmhmm."

"What's your name, sweety?"

"Pyrrha. Pyrrha Nikos." I wrote down her name on the patient form and filled out rest. As I did, I heard some rustling coming from her bed. When I looked back, I saw her trying to leave the room. Right as her injured leg touched the floor, she squeaked in pain.

"Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?"

"I was going back out to play."

"Haha, you're funny." I put her legs back on the bed. "You have to take the rest of the day off. This is for your own safety. I don't want you tearing it up any more than it already is."

"Aww, really?"

"Yes, really."

"Well, can I at least stay in here?"

"Of course you can. You thought I was gonna kick you out?"

"I don't know. I didn't want to bother you."

"You won't bother me. This is my job." Surprising, the two of us had a really fun conversation. She was a sophomore just like Blake, but she acted so mature. It was kind of a shock. I talked to her about soccer and she said that's been playing it ever since she was a little kid. Of course, child prodigies start young, even though I'm sure she wasn't one. As we talked, I occasionally checked her leg to make sure that it was holding up okay. Everything was going perfectly well. As time went on, I looked at the clock and saw that club activities were about to end. "Alright, I'm gonna change your wrap and then you can be on your way. Do you think you can walk home?" She gently placed her feet on the ground and put some weight on them.

"I think I'll be fine." I grabbed the wrap and walked back over to her bed. There, I carefully removed the wrap on her leg and threw it away. "Thank you, Ms. Belladonna, for doing this. I really appreciate this."

"What are you talking about? This is my job. I love doing this. It's better this than watching someone in pain and not be able to help them." She didn't respond. She just sat there as I started to put on the new wrap. Before I did, I saw that her cut was already looking much better from before. Of course, I had to give her the good news. Once I finished wrapping her leg, I smiled and said that she was free to go. I tried standing up, but something was holding me back. I looked down and saw her hand holding onto mine. "Pyrrha, what's wrong?"

"Ms. Belladonna, when was the last time you've felt loved by another person?" My eyes shot wide open. It was happening again. I couldn't believe it. It was so sudden that I couldn't even think of an answer, but another thing happened that I wasn't ready for. Something dropped from the doorway which caused me to turn my head. It was Yang. She had a shocked look on her face.

"Yang, what are you…" I couldn't finish my sentence as she ran off without saying anything. I tried stopping her before she could, but she vanished before I even got past the door. What was going on? When I walked back into the room, I saw Pyrrha slowly making it back on her feet.

"Ms. Belladonna, how do you fill an empty heart?" Again, I was knocked off my feet. That question seemed so familiar to me that I didn't have answer for her.

Why was she asking me this? It can't be what I think it is. I just met her. Things definitely don't work like that.

End of Chapter 6


	7. Chapter 7

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 7

A Rough Patch

"Ms. Belladonna, will you please go out with me?" And there it was. The horrifying question that leaves me in pain every time it happens. I had to be honest with her. She was nice girl and all, but this thing she longs for is just not possible.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Nikos. We can never be."

"Why not? Can you at least tell me that?"

"Just look at the situation. You're in high school. All I would do is hold you back. I can't fulfill your wants and desires. I'm sorry." Right on schedule, that look of sadness and hopelessness showed on her face. It was still too hard to look so I had to avert my eyes until she finally left my room. Once she finally did, I closed the door behind her and noticed the thing that Yang dropped. It was the capsule packages from the medicine I gave her earlier. Was she asking for more? But then again, why did she run off without saying anything? I looked at the clock and saw that it was getting late. I quickly packed up and kept the empty package with me.

When I got home, Blake welcomed me back with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I tried my best to not let her know about what happened so I put my things in my room and ate dinner with her. During that time, we didn't really talk. We just ate food and put away our things once we were done.

That night was another struggle for me to fall asleep. I know it didn't happen, but it seemed as if I witnessed two confessions in one day. However, it was only one so why did it seem like two? I just hope the two of them are okay. It's always my responsibility to worry about those I work with in the nurse's office, but these circumstances were a little different. I just didn't know what to think at that time.

The rest of the week was quiet. Some kids came in with minor problems, but I was able to solve them with ease. It was quiet in that there were no surprises. I saw Pyrrha out on the athletic fields, but nothing went wrong. I didn't even see Yang around campus at all. I asked Blake about her, but she said she's been a little depressed. I couldn't help but feel guilty about that. I mean, I didn't do anything wrong, yet something inside of me said that I had to take responsibility for it. I didn't know how to do that so I just tried to ease up on the situation and think of something else. When the weekend came around, Blake asked if she could spend the night at her friend's house and I quickly agreed. I needed a weekend on my own and that's exactly what I did.

I had no plans to do anything so I went into town, looking for something to do. However, something immediately caught my eye. It was Great Times Bar. This time, I knew I wasn't going to get drunk, but I decided to go inside anyway. Maybe there was something that could help me get over this little rough patch I've been experiencing. Immediately, I was greeted by a familiar voice. It was Cinder, from the night before. She quickly walked over to me and wrapped her arm around my neck with a smile on her face.

"Hey, how are you? I heard you ended up looking like shit on that night."

"Haha, let's not talk about that. I'm still trying to forget about it myself."

"Well, take a seat and relax." She walked me to the counter and flagged down the waiter. "So what do you want this?"

"Oh, I'm not gonna drink this time. Can I just get a glass of water?"

"What?! You're not gonna drink? Where's the fun in that?"

"I came here because I thought I could clear my head a bit."

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you sober?"

"Come on. It takes a lot for me to be knocked on my ass. If it's something that you want to talk about, I'd be more than willing to listen." It took me a second to open up to her. I only met once before, but something about her told me that she was very trusting. I took a deep breath and decided to let it out.

"I've got something going on at school which is a little embarrassing for me."

"Oh come on, it's school. I'm sure nothing is really that embarrassing."

"Oh yeah? How's high school students confessing their love to me not embarrassing." I slammed my face against the counter as my glass of water finally arrived. After that, there was a little silence in our conversation before she spoke up again.

"Ah, I see what you mean."

"What should I do?"

"Well, you shouldn't panic. I'm sure that this is all a joke."

"It's not. Most of them were being completely serious. How am I supposed to react when kids so much younger than me want to go out with me? It's wrong in so many ways."

"I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but back in the day, people married each other who were nowhere near the same age. You remember that generation, right?" I nodded my head. She was right. People did use to be like that. "Now, I'm not a love expert or anything, but love shouldn't restrain someone from age." I quickly rose back up and looked her in the eye.

"Are you saying I should be okay with this?"

"No, I'm not saying that! It's just that you never know where that one person will be. It could come from anywhere or anyone." For some reason, those words she spoke really made me think. I understand what she's talking about, but I just couldn't believe. Was it was really okay to love someone who was this younger than me? I don't even if know if I could bring myself to truly believe that. "You know, I think I had something that might help you out. One of my friends said she tried to confess to her teacher." I immediately widened my eyes. Was this a popular thing to do nowadays?

"What?! What happened?"

"Unfortunately, she got rejected." Even though it was a student trying to confess to her teacher, I couldn't help but feel bad about it. "Yeah, it was a tough blow. From the outside, no one would believe it, but she actually has a really fragile heart. She doesn't actually find love that easily, but she told me all about this teacher and said that she was the one for her."

"Wait a second. I'm not trying to criticize your friend or anything, but how does she know that her teacher was the one?"

"She couldn't really explain it, but she just knew. She said her pounded out of her chest whenever she saw her. She tells me that she tries to put on a strong face, but it always comes off a little awkward."

Wait… She just said "her." Her friend was trying to go after a female teacher?

"I tried telling her to just try and find someone else, but she insists that there's no one else for her. She told me that she's going to keep trying, but right now, she's been kind of down. The news of her rejection was a little difficult for her. We've been hanging around a lot, but today she said she wanted to try to be on her own." There were so many things running through my head. This girl was being very persistent even though he was already rejected. What does she think she can accomplish by doing this? Just then, something came to my mind that made me worry.

"Um, about your friend, is she like a college student or something?"

"No, she's attending high school." My eyes shot wide open.

"What's her name?"

"Yang. Why do you ask?" A knife pierced my heart as my mind went blank. I quickly got out of my chair and stumbled to the front door. Cinder noticed my strange behavior and tried to calm me down.

"Hey, what's going on? Are you okay?" I was getting dizzier and dizzier. I couldn't believe this was happening.

"I have to get home right now."

"I don't think that's a good idea. You don't seem too good right now."

"No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"I'm sorry, but I kind of have to. I don't want you doing something that could end hurting you."

"Let go of me." Out of nowhere, she gripped me by the shoulders and threw me on one of the chairs that was outside of the bar. The force of her throw actually straightened my head a bit and I was able to think more clearly.

"Alright, let's just calm down and take a deep breath. And when you're ready, do you wanna tell me what's wrong?" I took that deep breath she was talking about and looked her right in the eye.

"That teacher your friend was talking about… I'm that teacher."

End of Chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 8

This Feeling

**Note:** Just a heads up. The week of April 6th, the times of release for my stories will be a little lax. I will be on vacation that week so I'm not going to be prompt, but they will still come out. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all enjoy.

"Wait, you're _that _woman?" I didn't know what to say. It was hard for me to think of anything since she explained what's been going on with Yang for these past few days. "Wow, you're just as beautiful as she says you are."

"I… I don't know what to say. Does she really talk about me like that?"

"Of course. Ever since she met you, you've been the only thing on her mind. I can never get her to talk about anything, but you. If you don't mind me asking, why did you reject her?" It was my worst nightmare. She asked me the one question that I didn't have an answer for her. How was I supposed to answer that question?

"I didn't reject her."

"But she said that you couldn't be with her. Isn't that pretty much the same thing?"

"No, I said that I couldn't give her wanted she wanted.

"And why is that?"

"Because… Because she's a high school student. She can't go out with a teacher like me. She has her whole life ahead of her. All I'd do is hold her back. I can't do that to her without feeling guilty about it."

"But shouldn't love be unrestrained?"

"Why are you asking these questions? It sounds to me that you are totally okay with this. I don't want to judge you since I don't know you very well, but you can't be serious about this."

"I don't know. It's just that she's my friend and I don't like seeing her down like that. Whenever she's happy and full of energy, that's the Yang I love to see. Seeing her down in the dumps and wishing for some miracle to happen isn't like her. Can you just… try talking to her? I'm not saying you should do something you're not comfortable with. Just… try to make her feel better. It would mean the world to me, and her." I slowly stood up and walked to my car.

"I'll think about it." I got in my car and headed back home.

Originally, my plan was to clear my mind, but again, that didn't happen. I ended up flooding my mind with more things than I could possibly hold. The question I kept asking myself was why. I wasn't asking for these things to happen to me, yet they were happening anyway. For something to small as this, it's turning out to be a major problem. I can't accept this sort of thing, but I can't let one of students suffer because of something I did. Should I talk to her or let things go and see where it leads? No, that's the irresponsible thing to do. I have to take responsibility for this… But I'm afraid to talk to her. I don't know why. Whenever I see her, I lose my words and can't think straight. Why is this happening?

When I got home, I immediately walked into the living room and crashed onto the couch. It's been a while since I've used the couch. Usually, I got to my bed and relax. For some reason, being out here it somewhat working. However, I immediately shook out of my little trance. I knew to be productive. That's how I can get over this little problem. I ran to my room and changed. I decided to go on a little jog. Maybe that could be the thing I've needed all of this time. When I finished getting ready, I ran to the door and opened it up. When the door swung open, Yang was standing there, ready to knock.

"Yang? What are you doing here? I thought Blake was at your house."

"No, I just called her and she said she was spending the weekend at another one of her friend's house. Unfortunately, I called her on the way here because I thought we could hang out." Suddenly, Yang's eyes scanned my body and saw that I was in my workout clothes. "So what are you up to?"

"Um, I… I was about to go on a little jog so if you'd excuse me." I tried running by her, but she grabbed my arm before I could get away.

"Ms. Belladonna, please. Can I talk to you? That's the real reason why I'm here." I started to panic. If she was here to talk about that thing, I didn't know if I could handle it. I know I should listen to what she has to say and maybe clear up some things, but something was telling me that this would only lead to more troubling things.

"Okay. Come in." I took a deep breath and walked back into the house with Yang right behind me. I told her to wait in the living while I changed. For some reason, that look she gave me while I was in my workout clothes told me that it was better to be in my normal work clothes. Once I was done with that, I returned to the living room and sat down across from her. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I wanted to talk to you about us." I took a big gulp for I knew this was going to happen.

"What is there to talk about? We're not a thing. We can never be a thing."

"Why not?" Her voice was stern which caught me off guard.

"Can't you tell? You're what, 16? I'm approaching my forties. No matter how you see, it just couldn't be possible. You have your whole life to live. Someone like me would only hold you back."

"I don't care. Happiness is the most important thing in this world, right?" My eyes shot wide open and then a small flashback came into my mind. It was when my husband and I were still together. At that time, I was so happy. I didn't think anything else could get any better. Then the day when Blake was born, everything else went downhill from there. I closed my eyes to stop the tears, but one managed to escape and roll down my face.

"Yes. That is true, but…"

"But what?" Her voice got louder, almost as if she was throwing something on me.

"I can't make you happy!" I opened my eyes and looked right at her, tears rolling down her face. "I could never make you happy. You already have someone so this needs to stop. I'm sorry." I stood up and ran to my room, locking it behind me. After that, I didn't really know what happened. All I could hear was the front door close a few minutes after a retreated to my room.

Why am I crying? I shouldn't be crying. I'm a grown woman stuck in a stupid situation. I need to get over this. I'm a teacher. I need to set a good example for my students, no matter who they are. But… What is this feeling? I felt my chest and it was almost as if someone flipped my on switch on. Why is this happening? The last time I felt like this was when I met my ex-husband. This shouldn't be happening. It can't be.

…

The rest of the weekend was horrible. I was in room, refusing to leave. I laid on my bed and did nothing. For the first time in a long time, my mind was completely empty. Nothing ran through it and I managed to think of nothing. It was like I was trapped in a pitch black box. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to know what to do. There had to be a solution to this feeling of emptiness, this feeling of confusion.

When Blake got home, she filled the house with her cheerful laughs and her positive aura. She knocked on my door, telling me that she was home, but I couldn't respond. That black box had me trapped with no way to escape. I was alone with nowhere to go. For the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do. My eyes wandered the room, but nothing gave me hint at finding peace. Everything felt like a mirror looking right back at me. My face was blank, but on the inside, I was on a boat sailing the treacherous seas. Peace wasn't an option. How could I feel peace? The endless rocking of the boat, the harsh weather, and the mentality of being stuck in the middle of a vast sea was just too much. There was no escape… so how was I going to escape?

End of Chapter 8


	9. Chapter 9

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 9

Have Things Returned to Normal?

The next week of school came around and it started off just like any other week. I woke up on time, enjoyed breakfast with Blake, and walked with her to school. When I got my room, it felt a little cold, but once I settled in, everything felt the way it usually does; almost like my second home. I checked the supplies to make sure I had everything I needed for the students. Once that was over and everything was perfectly in place, I waited for something to happen.

It was weird, in a way. My anxiousness from before left me. I wasn't hoping so much for someone to come visit me, but for something to tell me that I don't need to worry anymore. Yes, there were things that were still on my mind, but they were somehow pushed to the back of my mind. It felt so relieving knowing that things were finally calming down for me.

Out of nowhere, a door slid open and in walked Yang. However, it was different from the times before. She said she was getting a headache so I quickly pulled out some painkiller medication for her and left without saying anything else. Even though I left it in bad terms, it appeared that that little talk we had did something for us. As I watched her enter and exit my room, it was almost as if she was a different person. She had an honest smile on her face with no sign of sadness or pain. I wanted to ask her what was going on with her, but something inside of me said things should be left alone for a while.

During lunch, the usual thing happened. Numerous students barged into my room to greet me for the day. This always managed to put a smile on my face. With things calming down, I was able to strike a few conversations with them. They all talked about classes were getting tougher and how they were worried about when finals come that they won't be able to do well. I simply reassured them that they'd be fine. Worrying too much over something wasn't healthy. That's when something hit me.

I've been like that for these past few days. I worried way too much. I know it was a problem, but I allowed it to take over my life. Looking at these kids and seeing smiles on their faces told me that I needed to behave the same way. Try not get over these things and long for a better tomorrow.

The rest of the week went by and nothing special took place. Yang came into my room every day, but it was a simple visit, asking for some kind of medication. I was tempted to ask why she needed so much medicine, but that wasn't a question I was allowed to ask. As long as she was healthy in my presence, there wasn't much that I could do. Thankfully, whenever her visit to my room came to an end, she gave me a smile and left. The thing about these smiles was that it was a genuine one, unlike the ones she gave me when we first met. It was a simple "thank you for the help" smile. I couldn't get over it. That smile was so cute. It was almost the sun coming over the horizon, giving everyone a fresh new start.

I can deal with this.

…

When the weekend came around, I decided to spend some time with Blake. We got in the car and drove to the nearest theme park. For the both of us, it's been so long since we've been to these kind of places that we didn't hesitate with anything. We bought our tickets and ran through the park without a care in the world. Just to be safe, we started out with some small rollercoasters before going to the main attractions.

Even the small rollercoasters got us pumped. We were acting like kids. As we exited the ride, our voices projected as if we were at the top of the drop. We didn't care. We were having fun and that was all that mattered. Once we were warmed up, we made our way to the biggest rollercoaster there, holding the record for the highest and fastest drop. On the way up, she couldn't help but look down and see how high this truly got. I wasn't a huge fan of heights, but I couldn't feel a thing. I guess being with Blake made it easier on me. When we arrived at the top, everyone stuck their arms into the air and enjoyed the craziest ride of their lives.

After that ride, we felt like all of our energy was drained. That was definitely the craziest ride I've ever been on. We looked at each other and had the same idea: Food. We went to the nearest food stand and took a little bit of a break. We tried to avoid the topic of school so all that was left was gossip and other girl things that I don't want to go into detail about.

Once we finished our food, we walked around the park to make sure nothing came out of us when we continued with the rides. Surprisingly, the place was huge. Apparently, they did some remodeling to make this place more of a landmark, and it definitely showed. Back when I was younger, this place only had like 4 rides, but now, there's more than a dozen of them. Times have changed and it was kind of making me feel old, seeing all of this new stuff.

As the day went on, we finished up our lists of rides with just enough to leave the park without dealing with the traffic. As we left, I saw a huge smile on Blake's face which nearly made me cry. I loved her smile more than anything. That was the one thing in this world that I wish I could keep. Blake's smile was so sweet and something that I could never forget. With that etched in my head, we headed off to dinner in the city. Since things were going so well, I decided to take Blake to her favorite restaurant. Unfortunately, she has expensive taste so my purse definitely got lighter at the end of the day. But I didn't care. Only time would tell if I was doing the right thing, and from the looks of it, I was succeeding.

When we finished dinner, we decided to head back home. On the way back, Blake crashed in the front seat. Apparently, we just had way too much fun. We pulled up the house and carried her in my arms. I took her up to her room and laid her down on her bed. I pulled the blankets over her body and brushed her hair out of her face.

"I love you Blake. Please don't ever change. At least when I'm here with you." I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Good night sweety." I left her room and decided to go out to the backyard. When I looked up at the sky, I saw a beautiful full moon. Its light was so bright that I could nearly feel it hit my face. I closed my eyes and breathed in the lovely night air. "Tonight was the best night I've had in ages. Thank you so much for giving this to me." I turned around and sat down on the pool chair, still looking up towards the sky.

I know peace can never be achieved, but today was definitely the closest I could ever get. With the help of my daughter, I feel that I can handle anything now. It's such a weird feeling; that feeling of self and what it can do. I feel like a totally new person. I got up from the chair and returned to my room for the night. I took a nice, long shower, still thinking about how fun today was. Once that was over, I grabbed my pajamas and jumped into bed with a smile on my face.

Have things really returned to normal?

End of Chapter 9


	10. Chapter 10

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 10

Another Week, Another Surprise

**Note:** I'm sorry about not updating last week. I decided to take a little vacation back home and I spent a lot of time with my family. I didn't want to take any time away from that so I hope you guys can understand. Anyway, things will return to normal now so I hope you enjoy this update and thank you for staying patient.

Another week came around and this time, I was ready for anything. I knew something was bound to happen, but I knew that I was ready for it. My recovery that past weekend did more than enough to help. That and nothing major happened so I willing to take on the world. Whatever the problem, I was ready to deal with it.

My room was pretty quiet up until lunch. A few student came in, but there wasn't anything too serious. None of them asked me anything strange so that was definitely a plus. However, something did bother me. All of this time, Yang always found her way to my room, but today wasn't the case. It was usually at the same time with some kind of minor problem that I could easily solve. For some reason, this made me worry. I was starting to think that she'd be a regular student or that some more serious happened to her that I couldn't help her with. Putting that aside, I had to forget about it. Lunch started and it was my job to open up my room to my students.

To my surprise, the first one in was Blake. She busted through the door with a smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around my body. At first, I didn't really know how to react, but eventually I caught on.

"Hey mom, how are you?"

"I'm fine. It's kind of weird to see you in here so early."

"Yeah I know. I just decided to come here just now."

"Haha, but what about your friends?"

"What about them?"

"Don't you usually spend your lunch with them?"

"Yeah, but they're all really busy doing things for their clubs. I kind of felt a little left out, but that's when I realized I could come here and have just as good of a lunch." She smiled and grabbed the chair from my desk. "I hope you don't mind me sitting here." I didn't care. As long as she was happy, nothing else mattered.

However, I was really tempted to ask her about Yang. Ever since the past weekend started, I haven't seen her. Blake never mentioned her whenever we talked about random things. She also missed her normal check-in time with me to get some kind of medicine for her problem. It's not like I'm interested in her or anything. It's just that not seeing one of my students makes me worry. They're pretty much 50% of my responsibility. As the clock wound down on lunch, I decided to leave the topic for now and see what would happen. If something truly happened, I'm sure Blake would say something. When the lunch bell rang, I slowly scooted everyone out of the room and they all left with smiles on their faces. Blake was the last one out as she kissed me on the cheek and ran to her next class.

I guess this past weekend went really well. I couldn't help but pat myself on the back. I was still doing my job as a single mom.

As classes finally resumed, I cleaned up my room. Unfortunately, the one thing my visitors don't do is clean up everything they leave. It's nothing too annoying, but it would really be nice if they cared enough about my room to clean up their mess. I'm definitely not their mother. Once everything was cleaned up, I walked back to my desk, but was immediately halted by a knock from the door. It was a little strange since I never locked my door. I walked over to it and opened the door to see Yang standing right outside with her head down.

"Yang, what are you doing? You know my door's open right?" She didn't respond. "Yang, are you okay," I asked as I placed my hand on her shoulder. That's when she finally raised her head.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Um, not that I don't want to, but don't you have class right now?"

"I told my teacher I had a really bad stomachache. Can I come in?"

"Sure, grab a seat anywhere." She walked in slowly as if she hadn't slept for weeks. After a few seconds, she eventually sat herself on one of the beds as I wheeled my chair over to her. As I looked at her, there was obviously something wrong. I didn't know what I was. It wasn't anything physical so I had to keep open ears about whatever she wanted to talk to me about. "So what did you want to talk about?" It took her a while to answer since she was fumbling around with her fingers and constantly looking down. "Are you sure you're alright to talk? You seem kind of… out of it."

"No, I'm fine. It's just… I don't know how to ask this." I suddenly tensed up. I had a feeling I knew what she was talking about, but I had to stay calm until I knew for sure. I took a deep breath.

"Well, you can talk about whatever you want. Nothing's restricted in my room," I said with a smile. She took a deep breath and finally came out with it.

"I'm in love." She immediately stopped, causing the room to be completely silent. I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't help but think about how I already knew that. That was kind of why she was dating Blake. I was wondering why she was telling me this.

"I know, and Blake is really happy."

"No, you don't understand. I can't keep lying to myself. I love you Ms. Belladonna. There's no else that makes me feel this way. Whenever I see you, I lose my way. I totally get lost in strange thoughts that I can't control." She suddenly grabbed my hand and placed it against her chest. "You can feel this, can't you? The heart doesn't lie. I love you, and only you." It was happening again. I quickly pulled my hand away and stood up from my chair.

"Yang, why are you doing this? I already told you that you… we can't do this. I'm a teacher and you're a student. Plus, you're dating my daughter. I absolutely can't accept a situation like that. I'm sorry, but this won't work out the way things are."

"But…"

"Yang, please. I'm trying to do what's best for you. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be. You already have someone else. Your heart belongs to someone else." I walked to other side of the room and said no more. I waited until I finally heard the soft steps of her leaving the room. Once I was alone, I collapsed onto my chair and took heavy breaths.

Although, she's already done this to once, this time felt a lot different. I could definitely tell that she was being honest with herself. It was so honest that I even felt her pain. But then again, what could I do? I'm an adult and she's still a student. My age only causes her to be pulled back by me. I can't allow that when I know she has so much more potential than that. I rested my head on my desk as I waited until school was finally over. Thankfully, no one else came to my room so it made things a lot easier. When school was over, I grabbed my things and made my way to the gate to meet up with Blake. However, I encountered something that was completely unexpected.

"I'm sorry Blake. I can't keep doing this."

"What are you talking about?" It was Blake and Yang. I didn't really know what was happening so I took cover near the conversation as to not be seen, but to hear what they were talking about.

"I'm breaking up with you."

"No, please. We can work this out. I promise. If it's something I did, I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for. This is my fault."

"What are you saying?"

"I never really loved you. It was just me being stupid. I'm the one who should be sorry. I never felt that way with you." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I thought things were going so well for them. Why was this happening?

Wait, it couldn't be…

I suddenly turned the corner and saw Blake ran off in tears. I turned my head to look at Yang and saw those same tears that Blake was shedding roll down Yang's face as well. What was happening? Before I could ask anything of her, she walked off by herself and I was left alone in that awkward situation. Judging but the result of the situation, it seemed like I had to walk off home on my own. As I walked home, I couldn't help be confused. Things weren't making any sense. Blake always talked about how they were so perfect for each other. What happened to cause this?

Please don't make me the cause of this. Blake's broken heart cannot be my own doing.

End of Chapter 10


	11. Chapter 11

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 11

A Mom and a Teacher

**Note: **For those of you who were wondering what Blake's mom looks likes, here's how I imagine her looking like, but with much less fan service than what the anime did to her. I hope this gets you guys a little more interested in her character. Anyway, I hope you enjoy another update. .

When I got home, I silently opened the door and poked my head inside. I looked into the living room and kitchen, but Blake wasn't there. I stepped inside and closed the door behind. At the moment, I heard soft whimpering coming from my room. I quickly made my way to the back of the house where I saw Blake lying on my bed, drowning in her own tears. I dropped my things and went over to her. I climbed on the bed and put her head on my lap.

"Blake, what's wrong?" She couldn't answer. She was too choked up. Also, I felt bad about asking her since I already knew why she was suffering. However, I didn't want her to think I saw the whole thing so this was the best path I could take. "You can talk to me, sweety." She whimpered for a couple more seconds until she jumped at me and wrapped her arms around my neck and held me tight.

"Yang broke up with me." Her tears continued to fall from her face as she shoved her face into my chest. Hearing this a second time hurt even more than the first time. I know she was hurting, but this brought me more pain than her. I couldn't help but feel that this was my fault.

"Ssshhh. It's okay. Just calm down. It'll be alright."

"No it won't. She was the one mom. I'm never gonna find something like her again." I suddenly widened my eyes. I felt the exact same way when I met my husband and shared a life together. Unfortunately, that ended on horrible terms. I closed my eyes and squeezed her back.

"I know it's hard. Times like this are always the hardest, but I promise it'll pass."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've gone through something like this also."

"What do you mean?" I've told her about her father before, but I never told her the fine details about it because I knew it would be too much to take in. a daughter figuring out that her father wants no part of her is probably the worst thing in the world. However, I couldn't prolong this any longer. She was old enough to know and it was my responsible to honest with her in her time of need. I took a deep breath and readied myself.

"Blake, I think it's time to tell you the truth about your father."

"Truth?" She suddenly got off of my chest and looked me in the eye.

"Yeah, I'm been keeping this from you because it was too hard for me to accept the truth. But now, you have the right to know what happened. Your father didn't die of a heart attack." I looked at Blake and could tell that she was in even more pain. When she heard this in the past, she couldn't stop crying. I always told her about how caring and helpful her father was, but she needs to know that that isn't true. "It all started when I first met him. He was such a nice man. Before all of this, I was interning at a hospital in another town. Hospital work was busy work so I never finished until midnight. At first, I forced to walk home alone every night. When things got a little difficult for me, a man noticed I was having a hard time and requested that he walk me home. Eventually, I found out that he headed in the same direction as me to get home. This was also the man who became my husband. Skipping all of the boring stuff, we got married and had an amazing life together. Then, one day a miracle happened. I discovered that I was pregnant with you. I told him about it, but he didn't react like most people should. He was quiet and almost sad. The next day when I got home, I discovered that he left me. After that, I was forced to raise you on my own. All of the love and care you remember was from me and me alone. I'm sorry sweety." I looked at Blake and saw one last tear roll down her face before she jumped back into my body and squeezed me as tight as she could.

"I'm so sorry mom."

"Wait, why are you apologizing?"

"I didn't know. I didn't know you had it so hard."

"It's okay. It's fine. It wasn't hard. Every day I got to see your beautiful smile told me that everything was perfectly fine. I still remember the day you first opened your eyes. Your amber eyes took my breath away. And then you smiled and I nearly melted in your cuteness." Finally, Blake let out a little chuckle as I was able to lighten up the mood.

"Was I really that cute?"

"Haha, is that even question? You were the cutest thing I've ever seen. I'm blessed to have a daughter like you."

"And I'm thankful to have such a hard-working and loving mother. Thank you so much. I love you." All of a sudden, a tear rolled down my face. We've always told each other we've loved each other, but this time felt different. It was genuine and from the heart. I suddenly squeezed her as tight as I could until she tapped my shoulder as if it was a wrestling match.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I got a little carried away."

"It's okay. I love your hugs." I don't know if it was my fault that she was such a mommy's girl, but I was just glad that she thought of me as someone she looked up to. Being honest with her was definitely the right thing to do and I definitely picked the right time to do. Once again, I'll myself another pat on the back.

"Hey, you hungry? I'll make you something special."

"I'm not that hungry. I was, um, actually hoping we could… take a bath together."

"Eh?! You wanna take a bath together?"

"What? Why are your reacting like that?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that you're 16. Do you really want to do this?"

"I do." I sighed and guided her to the bathroom. When we got there, she made it point for me to go in first. I filled the tub up with hot water as I put my hair up and wrapped it with a towel. Once it was full, I stepped in and relaxed. A nice, hot bath always made washed away my worries even though I didn't have at the time. After a few seconds, the door slip open and Blake walked in, a little embarrassed with herself. She slowly walked towards the tub with a towel covering body. When she got in, she put the towel right next to her and looked down, her face as red as a cherry.

"Blake, what's wrong?"

"I… I know I said I wanted to take a bath with you, but now that it's happening, I don't like it."

"Why not? We're both girls. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"But there is."

"What are you talking about?" She was a little hesitant in answering.

"You… You have a really nice body." I was suddenly caught off guard. It was true that I take care of my body and examine myself every day, but hearing that from my daughter was really shocking. "You have a like a perfect hourglass shape and your boobs have a really nice shape." I couldn't help but laugh.

"So do you. Why are you embarrassed?"

"Because it's not fair. I'm young and you're old. Our bodies should be switched."

"Um, excuse me. I am not that old. Anyway, don't think like that. You have a really nice body. Don't worry about having an hourglass body and nice shaped boobs. Those things don't matter. It's what inside that matters."

"Okay, I'm sorry. It's just… How do you get your boobs to look like that?"

For the rest of our bath, I had to go along with whatever Blake wanted to ask me. I won't go into detail about what we talked, but it was a lot of girl talk. Even though it seems awkward from a certain standpoint, it was actually refreshing for the two of us. She and I were both able to learn new things about ourselves. After that, Blake insisted on sleeping with me for the night so I gladly agreed. Since I was kind of treating her like a princess, she ended up taking most of the room on the bed, but in the end, there was a smile on her face as she fell asleep in my arms.

…

When the next day came around, we both got up at the same time and got ready together. After that, we headed off to school and did our normal morning routines. Blake said hi to all of her friends, excluding Yang and I went to room and to prepare for the day to come. Once I was done with everything, I waited until class started to execute my plan for the day. I wrote up a note and asked the office to send over a TA who could deliver something for me. When they arrived, I gave them the note and waited for the rest of my plan to take effect. I waited until a few minutes went by when my door suddenly slid open.

"This note said you wanted to see me."

"Yes, please take a seat Yang."

End of Chapter 11

**Ending Note: **I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be making some changes to my release schedule. Be sure to check out my profile and see what's going on. I'm planning on making every day a day devoted to at least one story so that you guys don't have to wait for Tuesdays/Thurdays since these are my normal update days.


	12. Chapter 12

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 12

The Recurring Question

**Note: **Here's another update for you guys. I made some changes to my schedule, but I think everything should be final about now so without further ado, please enjoy the story.

Yang walked in slowly and closed the door behind her. She found a seat on a bed and I slid my chair over to that side of the room. When I caught my first glance at her, I could tell that she was nervous. I didn't know why she was nervous, but I did know that there was something going on in her head and I was determined to find out what it was.

"Do you know why I called you in here?"

"Have… Have you finally changed your mind about me?" I didn't have the patience for this so I immediately raised my voice.

"No, that's not why I brought you in here. I wanted to know why you did it."

"Did what?" It was so hard to keep up this conversation. It was obvious that she had other things going on in her head and my conversation with her was just some side note that she didn't give her full attention to.

"You don't know? How about the thing that caused my daughter to be in heartbreak for most of the night last night? You don't remember that?" She turned her head away from me.

"Why are you asking this of me? This has nothing to do with you. You're just a school nurse."

"Yes, I may be a school nurse, but I'm also a parent and it's my job to care about my daughter. What you did to her was horrible?"

"What are you asking me to do? Give my heart to someone who I don't even love. I can't lie to myself. I think that's even worse than lying to someone else. I'm sorry I hurt Blake, but my heart belongs to someone else." I was waiting for her to say that. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down a bit.

"Yang, did you break up with Blake because you still have feelings for me?"

"Isn't it obvious? I have feelings for you that I can't explain. Why can't you see that? Love doesn't lie. For the first time in my life, I'm being honest with my feelings. And they're telling me that you're the one for me."

"Yang, I've already told you this multiple times. You and I can never be a thing."

"You keep saying that, but I don't see the problem with it. I'll be 18 soon so there won't a problem."

"That's not what I'm talking about. You still have so much of life to live. I can't be the one to hold you back. I've got my own problems to deal with. This just has to stop."

"I'm sorry, Alex, but I can't stop myself. You're just too perfect to leave alone." She suddenly got up from the bed and started to walk towards me. At the same time, I got up from my chair and started to back. However, it was no use. She kept on coming towards me until I was pinned up against the wall.

"Please stop this. I'm tired. I can't let this go on."

"Of course you can. I don't mind." She put her body awfully close to mine as she put her hand on my cheek. I tried pushing her away, but she was being persistent. I then turned my head away, but she forced it back towards her. At that moment, she stole another kiss from me. I couldn't believe it. After some struggling, I finally pulled her off. Unfortunately, when I pulled her off, I saw that the door was open behind her. I focused my attention on the door and saw that it was Blake standing there with a blank look on her face.

"Blake, I…" She ran off without saying anything. I pushed Yang away and tried running after her, but I was too late. By the time I got to the door, she had already vanished. "It's not what it looked like. I swear." My words meant nothing since she wasn't there to hear them. After that, I forcibly drove Yang out of room so that I could spend the rest of the day by myself.

For lunch, I kept my door closed. I could hear all of the regular students outside waiting for me to open the door. Unfortunately, today just wasn't the day for that. There was too much going on for me to put on a smile for everyone. I had to do something. When lunch was about to finish, I exited my room to try and find Blake. I looked all over school, but couldn't find her. I asked some of her friends, but they were unsure of where she was as well. When class resumed, I was forced back to my room. I waited with urgency until the final bell rang, allowing me to return home. I grabbed my stuff and ran home as fast as possible. When I got there, I tried opening the door, I immediately found that it was locked. I rummaged through my bag, but I couldn't find the key.

"If you're looking for your key, I have it." It was Blake.

"Blake, sweety, please let me in. I swear that was not what it looked like."

"Really? Because it looked like you were kissing Yang." It felt like a knife was pierced through my heart. Hearing those words coming out of her made me feel worse than I actually was. I tightened my fists and took a deep breath.

"I promise you, Blake, that's not what happened. I tried getting her to stop, but she wouldn't. You know I would never do anything like that. You have to believe me."

"So why was she even there?" She was forcing me into a corner.

"I don't want to lie to you Blake. She's in love with me, but I don't share those same feeling with her. It's impossible. I'm an adult and she's only a high school student. I've been constantly trying to convince her that it's wrong, but she just wouldn't listen to me. Blake, I love you more than anything in this world. You have to believe me." There was a pause.

"You're the one who said that love is someone who makes you happy and that you can make them happy."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you feel this way with her?"

"No, Blake, come on. I could never do that to you. She was your first love. I'm not looking for anyone right now. Don't take this the wrong way. I do not love her." I could her whimper and take a deep breath.

"I believe you." I reached for the door handle when her voice broke our once again. "But I think it's best for you leave. You can come back tomorrow when I've calmed down. Good night." I heard her footsteps trail away from the front door as I was left alone. Being a mom, it was my job to get inside the house, but I respected my daughter's decision. It was best to give her some space and it was best for her not to see me. I grabbed my bag off the ground and headed into town in search of a hotel.

As I made my way into town, that conversation was still stuck in my head. Blake was so calm and I was the one who was panicking. And what was up with her telling me that I was the one who said what the guidelines for love was. It just didn't make sense. I couldn't wrap my head around it. After a few minutes of wandering around, I finally found a nice hotel I could send the night at. Right as I made my way towards it, my name was called which caused me to stop dead in my tracks. It was a familiar voice. I hesitated to turn around because I was afraid face the truth of the matter.

End of Chapter 12


	13. Chapter 13

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 13

What is Love?

"Ali, is that you?" My eyes widened. I knew this voice. It was familiar in a non-familiar way. I slowly turned around and saw my ex-husband. "Wow, it's been so long. How have you been?" I gulped. It wasn't the same man that I remembered being with.

"I've been good. Thank you for asking."

"I haven't seen you around her before." Did you recently move here?" I examined him carefully and saw that he was starting to sprout a scraggly beard and head a bottle that was wrapped in a paper bag.

"No, I live somewhere far from here. I was just visiting, see if I could get something for Blake."

"Blake? Blake? Oh right, we had her together."

"Not together. I raised her all by myself. I poured my heart and soul into her and she's finally grown up to be a beautiful young woman. She didn't the help of her father since he was never there for her." I immediately stopped as I realized that it raised my voice and had my fists clenched.

"Okay. Alright. I used the wrong word. I'm really sorry. Could I get you a drink to make up for all of this?" I couldn't believe what he was trying to do.

"You really think a drink could make up for everything you've done?"

"No. But I thought it could serve as a start."

"I don't drink."

"Well then how about a coffee?" It didn't seem like it, but I was going through so much in my head. I didn't know if I should accept his offer or just leave, hoping that he would leave me alone. I mean, it was so strange seeing him here since he left so long ago without me ever finding out where he went. Since I couldn't go home, I decided to accept his offer and he took me to a nearby coffee shop.

As we walked there, I remained silent. There was really no reason for me to say anything to him and he didn't deserve to speak to me. Unfortunately, he did and I simply answered in one word answers. It was strange. The way he talked was odd. I mean, it's been a while since I've heard his voice so I can't really judge, but it definitely seemed different from what I remembered. When we got to the coffee shop, we quickly ordered our drinks and found a table. I kept my eyes on him and saw that he still had that bottle with the paper bag over it. I don't know why, but that was bothering me a lot.

"So how you been Ali? It's really nice seeing you again."

"Please don't call me that."

"Why not? I called you that all of the time."

"That was when we were still together."

"And I can't call you that anymore?" I remained silent as I turned my head. I was getting tired of looking at him. Every time I saw his face, it reminded me of all of the fun times I used to have. However, I know that those times could never be repeated; at least, not with this man. Out of nowhere, he placed his hand on my cheek and pulled it towards his. "Gosh, you're so beautiful."

"Don't touch me." I slapped his hand away."

"What happened to us?"

"What the hell are you talking about? There is no 'us.' This is all your fault. You left me to take on the world on my own. There is no us. There will never be an us again." I stood up and left the coffee shop. Before I could leave the area, he caught up to me and grabbed me by the wrist.

"Come on. Calm down, Ali."

"I told you not to call me that."

"I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, for everything I've put you through. I know I made some mistakes, but I've always loved you. When I thought, I immediately felt regret. You're the only person I've ever loved." I didn't looked at him for I knew he was lying. And plus, I couldn't believe him. He left me alone. No matter how much apologizing he does, it won't make up for the pain I've experienced.

"I'm sorry, but I can't trust you anymore." I tried walking away, but he kept holding onto wrist.

"Well, then can I at least meet my daughter? I want to see how beautiful she is." I put my hand on his wrist and tried to break free. There was no way I letting him see her. But then, out of nowhere, he pulled me in and wrapped his arm around my neck. "If you're going to be so defiant, I guess I'll just have to make you." I tried to squirming away, but I felt something sharp press against my back. I couldn't believe what was happening. He was threatening me and I didn't have any chance of escaping. All I could guess was that the alcohol he was consuming was making him behave this way. Then, we suddenly started to walk towards a hotel. We made our way inside when he retracted his weapon from my back.

"Welcome back sir. I hope you're having a wonderful evening."

"I am. Thank you." We snuck by the counter, but no was able to suspect anything since he changed his grip on me to make it seem like he was holding in his arms like we were married. We made our way to the elevator. This was my chance. Right as the door closes, I'll be able to run for it and he won't be able to catch up.

After a few seconds, the door rang and it opened up to an empty elevator. My plan was destined to work. He walked us in and pressed the number 10. I knew that if I didn't escape now, I would be in a really bad situation. Before I could escape, though, a huge crowd of people made their ways inside the elevator which prevented me from escaping. That's when I took a big gulp. Suddenly, he snuggled his face into my neck and started to smell me.

"God, I haven't forgotten your smell." The other people in the elevator were watching us with disgust. On the other hand, I was in hell. There wasn't anything I could do. I had to come up with something or else something bad was going to happen.

The elevator made its first stop and we were the first ones to get off. He didn't act suspicious in any way so those who were still inside the elevator paid no attention to us. Once the door closed, he brought out his knife again and pressed it against my back. Compared to anything else in this entire world, that knife made me feel so vulnerable. Finally, he guided me to his room. On the inside, it was a mess. Clothes were everywhere and the room smelt like booze.

"Welcome to my humble abode." Out of nowhere, he threw me onto the bed and took off his jacket. "Let's try this again. Can you bring me to our daughter? I loved to examine her beautiful teenage body." He suddenly removed his belt form his pants and climbed onto the bed.

"You can't see her. I won't let you." I slapped him across the face. He turned slowly while putting his hand where I slapped him. He then put his fingers in his mouth and licked them.

"Mmm, you even taste the same." I peered my eyes over to the front door and tried to make a run for it. I jumped off the bed, but was caught midair before I could leave. He threw me back against the bed and put her hand around my neck.

"Stay here. If you're not going to bring me to my daughter, I guess I'll just make another one."

"She's not your daughter," I said with a weak voice. With his free hand, he ripped the clothes off my body and exposed my underwear. He then suddenly licked his lips as he slowly leaned over and smelled my body.

"Mmm, I never got tired of this smell." He then trailed his hand down my body and in between my legs. I tried closing my legs as tight as I could, but he managed to slip in.

"No, please." I turned my head and closed my eyes.

"Oh, you're so perfect. I don't know why I left you." He suddenly ripped off my underwear and unzipped his pants. "Did you miss this?" I didn't respond and kept my eyes closed. "You can give me the silent treatment all you want. I know you're going to enjoy this." By now, I didn't know what was happening, but I did know that something unexpected happened. When I opened my eyes, I saw him on the ground with Yang on top of him, beating him down.

"Ms. Belladonna, run!" She turned her head to look at me. What was she doing here? Suddenly, he elbowed her in the face and threw against the wall.

"Yang!" He crawled over to her and put his hands around her neck and squeezed tight. "Please stop!" She put her hands on his and tried to break free, but he was too strong for her.

"You made a mistake interrupting me, and you're gonna pay for it." He suddenly pulled out his knife which caused me to widen my eyes.

This can't be happening.

End of Chapter 13


	14. Chapter 14

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 14

In Her Caring Arms

I couldn't just sit by and let him do this. I quickly climbed off the bed and jumped onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck. This immediately caused him to stand up and distance himself from Yang. I squeezed even tighter because I knew that this was the only way she could be safe from this man. As he got up, he back stepped until he rammed me into the wall, causing me to break my grip and fall to the ground. When I looked up, I saw he kneel down right in front of me and put his hand over my mouth.

"Don't worry. I'm not done with you. I just can't have this girl interrupting us. So…" He brought his hand up to the sky and shoved the knife into my left thigh."

"Aaaaaahhhhhhh!" I wished I could have screamed louder, but his hand was muffling my voice making it unable to hear from outside the room.

"I don't want you jumping around while I finish some dirty work."

"Nnnnooooooo!" I didn't know it ye since I had my eyes closed, but when I opened them an interesting sound, I saw him on the ground unconscious with Yang standing in front of me with a broken bottle.

Yang? I couldn't speak. I was so in pain that my voice was inaudible to her. She knelt down in front of me and stared only at me injured leg. The knife was still in there as she kept her hands around the general vicinity.

"Um, what do I do? I don't know what I need to do about this."

"We… We need to get out here first. I can't risk your safety with him being here."

"Don't worry about me. I'm more worried about you. I know I can't leave that knife in there. Shouldn't I get you to a hospital or something?"

"It's not safe. He'll find me, I know he will. I have to get home before he wakes up." I tried getting onto my feet, but even my right leg was unwilling. I quickly fell back onto the ground and gripped my left thigh in pain. There was no way I was getting out of there. At that moment, my eyes started to droop as my entire body started to get weaker and weaker. I know it was just a stab in the leg, but it felt a lot more than that; almost as if it was to my heart instead. Then, out of nowhere, my arm was thrown over someone's shoulder as they lifted me onto my feet. What was going on? I was losing it more and more now.

"I'm not leaving you here. My house isn't too far from here. I promise to get you there in one piece. Just promise that you'll stay awake." I suddenly came to. It was Yang's voice. I slowly turned my head to see such a determined look on her face. She carried me out of the room, through the hall, and down to the lobby. Surprisingly, she was able to understand the situation as to not alert any of the staff at the hotel. Once we made it out of the building, she guided me back to her house. Unfortunately, I was starting to fade as we trudged along through the rain. I don't remember it raining before this all started.

After a certain amount of time, we finally arrived at her house. I had no idea where I was though. I mean, it was obvious that it was her house; I just didn't realize it until she laid me down on her bed and ran to get everything she could that would help me survive through this.

After a few more minutes, she finally came running through the door with a whole bunch of supplies. The first thing she did was put a hot towel over my head to see if that would be enough to keep me conscious. Feeling the warmth of the towel on my head made me open my eyes and realize the full extent of the situation. I looked down at Yang who was rummaging through her things to figure out what she should do. As I finally came to, I grabbed her hand which caused her to look up at me.

"Don't panic, Yang. It'll only make it worse."

"But I can't. Your life's in danger. You've already lost a lot of blood." That, above everything else, was true. I could definitely feel it. I was more lightheaded than usual and my body was weak to the bone. "What should I do? You need to tell me what to do." I know why she was asking me. I was a nurse, but something as serious as this was something out of my comfort zone. I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate.

"You… You need to pull out the knife exactly the way it went it. That's the cleanest this thing can go." I looked at her and could see the pain in her face.

"Pull it out? Won't that hurt?"

"It won't hurt as much as when it went in. Now, hurry. It can't stay in there for much longer." She carefully put her hands on the grip of the knife and looked at me one last time. With that last look, she pulled it out as quickly as she could. I screamed out in pain, but I was just glad that it was all over. However, it wasn't. Blood was rushing out which caused Yang to panic.

"Oh my God, what do I do now?"

"Get…" I could feel it. The high amounts of blood leaving my body. I started to feel woozy, but I couldn't lose it just yet. I shook my head and immediately came back. "Get a towel and tie it around my leg as tight as you can. And I mean _as tight as you can._" Without saying another word, Yang grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my thigh. Immediately, she could see the towel turn red and I felt her tightness of the towel around my leg. I gritted my teeth and gripped the sheets of her bed to try and lessen the pain.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It's supposed to hurt. You wouldn't happen to have any stitches here, would you?"

"No, but I could go get some."

"Please do. I can't leave this wound open like this." From the tone of my voice, she understood what I was getting at. She grabbed her things and stormed off without another word. I couldn't help but smile. She was doing so much for me that I almost seemed unreal. Unfortunately, right after she left, I started to get really thirsty. I looked around, but there was no glass of water. I didn't know how long she would be so I had to get it for myself. Water is crucial for some kind of recovery.

I try to kick my legs off the bed, but only one of them responds. I knew this would happen, but what I didn't expect was for my good leg to lose its strength so randomly. I fell onto my stomach and crawled to the kitchen. It took me a while, but I finally arrived. I opened the fridge and pulled out the pitcher of water. Manners were out the door at this point so I brought it up my mouth and drank as much as I could before coughing from an excess of it. Once I was done, I put the pitcher on the ground and laid there. I looked down and saw that the towel was completely red. I tried touching it, but it still hurt to even put a finger on it and that's when I knew getting back to her bed wasn't in option.

What am I supposed to do now?

End of Chapter 14


	15. Chapter 15

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 15

Weakness in the Heart

As I laid on the ground, time seemed to stop for me. I didn't know what to do or where I was anymore. My body was weak and my head was feeing woozy almost as if I spun around for a whole hour. I didn't feel like myself. Was this the end for me? Maybe I shouldn't have climbed out of bed to get a drink of water because it doesn't really feel like it helped in any way.

After some amount of time, I still didn't know how long I was on the ground, the front door swung open and in walked Yang. She noticed that the fridge was slightly open and ran over to find me on the floor. I was a mess. She managed to hoist me over her shoulders and walk me over to the couch. Once I plopped onto the couch, I was able to feel my body again. It was a little hard to tell what exactly was going on, but I did have more control over the things I was able to do.

"Ms. Belladonna, what were you doing out here? How long were you like that?"

"I… I don't know. I needed water so I…" She immediately walked over to the fridge to fill up the water. After that, she poured me a glass of water and walked it back over to me. She lifted my head up from the couch and helped me drink the water so that I didn't choke or anything. Immediately after that, I was starting to feel better. I slowly tired sitting upright, but Yang tried to get me back onto my back. I couldn't. I had to fix this. I asked for the supplies she got for me and immediately got to work.

First, I asked her to heat up the needle so that things could be a little easier for me. While she was doing that, I grabbed the string and made sure that it was appropriate to use on my leg. She returned with the needle ready and I began work. I took of the towel that was completely red and looked at my leg. It was still bleeding, but nowhere near as bad as it was earlier. I asked Yang to bring me another towel as to not make a mess on her couch. Once that was brought, I started sewing up my leg. Right as I started, I knew it was going to difficult. The pain of puncturing the needle through my skin was horrible, but I had to fight through it.

After about an hour or so of doing my thing, I finally finish. I lay my head onto the head rest and take a sigh of relief. It's finally over. I'm in really bad shape that I almost tempted not to show up to school, but that would also worry Blake. I know we left on odd terms, but I know she'd be worried about me. As long as I got some rest and showed, there would be no reason for her to worry anymore.

"Um, are you okay?" I took a breather for a few more seconds before answering her.

"Yeah, I think so. Thank you so much." Out of nowhere, Yang burst into tears and leapt into my body. I didn't really know how to react since I too was still a little loopy. However, I just let it go. I wrapped my arms around her body and tried to calm her down. Seeing something like that I definitely traumatizing for someone at her age so I couldn't blame her at all. "It's alright Yang. I'm fine now. You don't need to worry anymore." Out of nowhere, she brought her head out of her chest and kissed me on the lips. This caught me off guard and sent me onto my back. Once I regained myself, I pushed her off with tears still in her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I love you. Please let me love you." I couldn't let this happen. I threw my hand at her, but she caught it in midair. She then kissed the back of my hand and continued up my arm. I don't know why, but this felt so good. I squirmed around, but she completely ignored it. Once she made it up to my shoulder, I really started to feel different. She kissed me around my neck area which caused me to moan to myself. I couldn't explain it, but this feeling was something I haven't experienced in so long.

"Yang, please, we can't… Mmm." Along with her kissing, she started to lick me on the neck. I couldn't help it, but it was turning me on. No one's touched me like this in so long that I was almost starting to act desperate. Was this okay?

Once that was over, she started to trail down my body. She put her hands underneath my clothes and slowly pushed them up my body until my bra was completely exposed. She gently placed her hands on them and started to massage them. This felt so good. I couldn't help but moan even louder. She knew what she was doing and it was working, but I couldn't help but feel that this was wrong. Without even unlessening my bra, I felt her fingers gently slide down my stomach and near the top of my skirt. When she reached it, she used both her hands to unzip it and pull it off. Now, I was completely exposed to her. She was going to take me.

She ventured back up to my face and kissed me again. At the same time, her right hand travelled back down my body until it was right over my vagina. She gently put her hand against it which caused me to react. I pushed her off of my body and sent her to the other side of the couch.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this."

"Why? Why won't you accept my love? You know I love you. Why can't you let me prove it to you?" Why did I find this question so hard to answer? I sat up and turned my head towards the other side of the room, avoiding her eye contact. "Please, just tell me why you can't love me." I started to tear up, but I couldn't let her see it.

"I don't want to hurt you." There was a silence. I didn't know why, but I assumed it was because she was trying to understand why I said that.

"Hurt me? You could never hurt me. I love you."

"But I can. It's because of all of this. You'll never be happy with me." I heard rustling from behind me. Then, she held my cheek and brought it towards her.

"I'd be the happiest person in the world if I could be yours. I would love you more than any person on this world. More than that man could. I would dedicate my life to making you happy. You know why?" I turned my head because this was getting hard to hear. However, I couldn't hide. She turned me back towards her. "Because I love you. Nothing will ever change that." She suddenly wiped away a tear that rolled down my face.

"I can't." I held her hand and placed it back on her lap. "You're a minor. It just wouldn't be right." Her eyes suddenly widened as she rose to her feet. After that, I didn't really know what happened to her. All I knew was that she left the room in silence. Before she did though, she gave me two words for the rest of the night.

"Good night."

End of Chapter 15


	16. Chapter 16

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 16

Time to Talk, Seriously

**Note:** I'm so glad that you're all enjoying this story so much. I, myself, was kind of iffy about it in the beginning, but I'm glad it turned out to be something more than just a try-hard story. I will continue to keep these interesting for however long I plan to make this story. For now, I hope you enjoy this update.

I ended up spending the night on the couch. It was a tough night of sleep. The constant pain in my leg. The look of sadness Yang gave me as she left the living room. There was just too much going on in my head for me to have an enjoyable night of sleep. When morning came around, I tried getting up as quickly as I could, but my leg was still being annoying. It prevented me from the leaving the house before Yang could wake up. She offered me breakfast which I had to accept. I hadn't eaten in a while so it was kind of necessary for me to eat. Once that was over, she understood the situation and allowed me to walk off on my own.

We allotted enough time for me to get to school a little early while letting her get to the school right on time. On the way there, I kept thinking about what happened last night. Yang was in my mind and I couldn't get her out. She touched me in ways I couldn't describe. It felt so good, but so wrong. Why am I so conflicted about this? There was only one thing about it and it was wrong. I bit my lip and made my way to my room.

Oddly enough, I totally forgot that Blake had my keys so I didn't lock the door. I was a little surprised the janitors didn't lock it up or anything. I walked in and saw that everything was exactly the way I left it the other day. I dropped my things on the ground and collapsed into my chair. I leaned back and stared at the ceiling, rummaging through all of the things that were flowing through my head. I couldn't understand it. This girl was being so honest with me and yet, she wasn't giving up. I immediately took a deep breath and tried to calm down as I gently placed my head on my desk.

But it did feel really good. I haven't been touched like that in so long to where I almost forget I could feel like that. She handled me with such care. How did she know how to do that? I shook my head violently and slammed my head on my desk. I just need to calm down. All of this will blow over soon.

That's all I can hope for.

Out of nowhere, my door slid open which made me shoot my head off my desk. It was Blake. I quickly stood up and made my way over to her. I didn't really know what was going on since class had already started and she was usually the kind of person to show up on time.

"Hey Blake, what's wrong?" She didn't say anything. She just ran right at me and melted into my body. "Hey, you okay?"

"I'm sorry." I was so confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"I shouldn't have made you find somewhere to spend the night last night. I was just a little angry. I don't know why I did that. I couldn't sleep. I was so worried about you. I was afraid something happened to you." All of a sudden, my eyes shot open. Something did happen to me. But should I take the risk and tell her what happened. That would only make her more worried. I quickly threw out that idea though. There was no need to tell her. I simply wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.

"It's okay. You're not to blame for any of this. It was my fault." I kissed her on the head. "Thank you for worrying about me, but I'm fine." I did it again. I was lying to her, but this time, I had to. I didn't want her to know that her father wanted to see her. Who knows want would have happened if he actually found her. I dread the thought. "Hey, you need to get to class. We can talk more about this later, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'll write you a note." Once I gave her the note, I sent her on her way and she had a bright smile on her face. I was so relieved when I saw that look. What I went through for the past 12 hours made me feel like I wasn't going to see that smile again. I smiled back and closed the door.

I waited until lunch and nothing happened. My room was definitely a lot quieter than how it used to be. Once again, I opened up my room as everyone filed in to their normal places. Some of them even gave me hugs since it's been a while since I've done this. They all looked very happy as they ate their lunch. Unfortunately, because of what happened, I wasn't able to pack a lunch so watching everyone eat was a struggle to keep my composure. I retracted my eyes away from the situation, but as I did, I spotted someone pass by my room. It was Yang. She looked in with wondering eyes, but nothing more. There was definitely something wrong with her because once she left for bed, she started to act differently.

When the lunch bell rang, I escorted everyone outside, wishing a lovely rest of the day. Once the last person left, I watched them all make their way to their classrooms. At that moment, someone poked my shoulder from behind. I turned and saw Yang standing there with a red face. This was odd, even for her.

"Hello Yang."

"Hi, Ms. Belladonna. Can I talk to you?"

"Sure, come on in." I let her in, knowing that this was going to be about what happened last night. I had to clarify things now or else this was going to go on forever. She sat on her usual bed and I locked the door to make sure nothing no one popped in. I then pulled my chair over to the bed and readied myself for what was to come. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I was just… I wanted to make sure that you were doing okay." Already, this was a different take on our normal conversations.

"I'm fine. It still hurts a little bit, but I think I'll be fine after another night's rest."

"That's good. I'm glad." She bowed her head and looked away from me. This was definitely not the Yang I knew. She was acting shy and completely distant from me. It's not like it bothered me. It's just that seeing her like this made me wonder if something was bothering her.

"Are you okay? You don't looked too good." I placed the back of my hand on her forehead, but she suddenly grabbed it out of the air and held it in her hands.

"I've been thinking about what you said." Here it is. "You said you didn't want to hurt me and that it wasn't right for us to do it."

"Exactly."

"I just… I don't see how you could possibly hurt me. I love you and all I want is for you to return my feelings."

"That's the thing Yang. I can't do that. I've told this to you many times before. A person like me and someone like you just couldn't be. I'm sorry, but…" She suddenly cut me off.

"You also that it was because I was a minor." I widened my eyes. "What if I wasn't a minor? Then could you love me? Would I be enough for you then?"

"Yang, please. Don't make this any harder for me than it already it is." She suddenly let go of my hand and placed her hands on my cheeks.

"If I was older, would you love me back? By that time, I could care for you. I could give you the love you deserve. You won't have to feel alone ever again because I would be there for you whenever you need me. I promise I would." It was hard to look at her, but when I did, I saw that her eyes were so honest. I could hear her heart pounding out of her chest. Her hands were shaking, but she remained looking at me. What could I possible do about this? Shew as being completely honest with me, but only this time, I knew that this was all for real. Nothing in her voice or her body told me that she was lying. I grabbed her hands off of my cheeks and put them on her lap. "Ms. Belladonna, please. Hear my words. I love you." I took one last thought and sighed.

"I now know that you're being completely honest with me. Right now, we could never be a thing." She suddenly started to shake even more as her head dipped. "But I can do this. By the time you graduate from high school and you still have these same feeling for me, I… I will return your feelings." All of a sudden, Yang's head rose up to look me in the eye.

I think it's about time I be honest with my own feelings.

End of Chapter 16


	17. Chapter 17

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 17

Me and My Thoughts

Yang couldn't contain her joy. A bright smile emerged on her face as she jumped into my arms. I was completely caught off guard that I nearly fell out of my chair. After a few seconds of that, I pulled her off and tried to keep things professional.

"But I really have to see you try. You can't slack off thinking that high school doesn't mean anything."

"Of course, I promise to not let you down. I will graduate and I know I'll still love you." I smiled and walked to the door. I unlocked it and took a sigh of relief.

"Alright, get to class." She sprang onto her feet and ran out the door, kissing me on the cheek during the process. For some reason, my face turned all red when it happened. I tried to tell her that that wasn't allowed, but she didn't care. She just strolled on and disappeared from sight. For the rest of that day, things were quiet.

When school ended, I closed up shop and made my way to the front of the school where Blake was waiting for me. This made me very happy since the day before was a lot different. I met up with her and she took my hand as we walked home together. Even though it was just one day, it felt like we haven't done this in a long time. She went on about how school was fun and how her classes were easy. For me, that was all I needed to hear. The sound of Blake's voice was so soothing that I could just melt away in peace.

Once we got home, I put my things and started to prepare dinner. Out of nowhere, Blake walked up behind me and volunteered to help out. I was shocked at first. Usually, Blake never wants to cook. I guess it was our separation that is making her do this. Honestly though, who cares? She can help me all she wants. I'm just glad that we're together again. With her help, dinner was prepared in record time. We sat down at our usually spots and enjoyed a lovely dinner. One night alone really does things to you. It felt like I was in a completely different universe.

After dinner was over, we said our good nights to each other and did our usual things before sleeping the day away. I immediately took a shower since I wasn't able to yesterday. I stepped into the nice, hot shower and tried to forget everything that had happened to me, but it was definitely a harder task than it seemed. How could I forget about what happened?

I met my ex-husband out of nowhere. He was an alcoholic which means bad news. He wanted to see Blake which I couldn't allow in his current condition. He even attempted to make me his again.

That last thought caused me to lose my cool and nearly fall onto the floor of the shower. Luckily, I was able enough to stay on my feet. I looked down and took a deep breath. That's when my injury became apparent again. I almost forgot about it. I examined it carefully and saw that the stitches were starting to already absorb into my body. I tried touching it, but it ended up stinging when I got near it. As I touched it, the image of him stabbing me came up which knocked me off of my feet. I sat there on the ground in shock. That really did happen. It's still surprising that I made it through alive. He was a changed man. Why did things have to turn out like this?

After a few more minutes, I finished up my shower and dried off my body. I walked towards the mirror while wrapping my towel around my body and another one around my hair. I wiped the mirror of fog and stared at my reflection when another thing came to my head.

I will return your feelings.

Did I really mean that, or was that just a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing? I placed my hands on the counter and continued to look at my reflection. From the outside, it appeared like I had closure on the situation, but on the inside, things were even more jumbled up. If I were to keep my word, how could I possibly hold up my part of the agreement? Even if she wasn't a minor, our age gap would just be too much. How can she love someone like me? I'm old and worn out. What does she see in?

At that moment, I removed the towel from my hair and body and examined myself. My hair was still pretty wet so that didn't look attractive. On the other hand, my body itself wasn't in that bad of a condition. Like Blake said, I had a pretty good hourglass figure. My breasts weren't too big and I was healthy, but still, what could I possibly offer to that girl?

I'm not special. My prime years are behind me now. I would only slow her down. She's young and still has a lot left to experience. I've just dug myself into a hole now. What should I do? It's not like I hate her or anything. Is it right for someone like me to fall for someone like that? I honestly don't even know her.

I took another deep breath as I got into my pajamas and made my way to the bed. Before getting tucked in, I stared at the humungous bed and had that flashback of when I was hung over as Yang was kissing me right before I came to. I shook my head and slapped my cheeks. Why am I thinking of that? That's just outright irresponsible of me. I can't think of my students like that. At least not right now. I walked over to the side of the bed and fell right on top of it. Even I hit my face against the soft surface, it more than expected. I stayed in that position for a few minutes before turning over and pressed my hand to my heart.

Do I even know what love is anymore?

End of Chapter 17


	18. Chapter 18

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 18

School's Finally Over

The school year was finally over and all that was left was graduation. Every year, the graduating class picks a handful of faculty to join them during the ceremony and I don't know why, but I was chosen to walk with them. I was just the school nurse, but apparently, a lot of them liked me enough to have me join them on their very special day. It was sad to see them go, but they were ready to take their next step in their lives. After that, I packed up my room and made my way home for the summer.

Initially, I planned to spend most of the summer with Blake, but I got a call from my mom saying that she wanted to spend some time with Blake. At first, I was saddened that Blake was being taken away from me, but then I got even madder when I realized that she didn't even want to see me, her own daughter. However, it was no big deal. Blake loved her grandmother so I didn't object at all. We packed her things and I took her to the airport. It made me happy when Blake asked if I was going to be alright, but pushed her towards her gate and reassured that I'd be fine. She gave me one last kiss and got on her plane. It was sad to her go, but I could hold onto her forever.

On the way home, I decided to take a little detour. There was nothing waiting for me at home so going out would be a better option. However, the only thing that worried me was seeing him again. It was scary to think about, but then again, what were the odds of that actually happening? To keep things simple, I went to Great Times Bar in hopes that Cinder would be there. I barge through the door and see her at her usual place.

"Hey Cinder." She turned her head with a glass in hand.

"Hey Alex. Long time no see. How have you been?"

"I've been alright. Nothing too special. What about you?"

"Eh, can't complain. Come on in and have a drink." I had no intention of drinking since that one time nearly killed me. I simply asked for a glass of water and tried to open up to her like I usual do when I go there. "So what's up? I haven't seen you around here lately."

"Well, you know, school just ended so I was pretty busy near the end of the year."

"Ah, of course. The lives of teachers can be real taxing." She took another drink.

"Haha, I can see you've had quite a bit to drink."

"Hey, I know how to budget myself. But in all honesty, I respect teachers. You guys have to put up with a lot of crap from your students while trying to motivate them to do something with their lives. That's definitely something only a few people in this world can do. I applaud you." She raised her glass to me and I returned the gesture.

"Thank you. I really appreciate that." We drank our drink and slammed our glasses on the table.

"Alright. Enough of the boring talk. How are you and Yang doing?" I cowered away at the sound of her question. How did she know about that? I mean, I knew that she and Yang were close, but did Yang really have to blab about what went on between us?

"Um, I guess you could say that I cleared the air."

"Oh really? Would you mind giving me any details on the matter?"

"For the past few months, I really started to notice that Yang was really having a thing for me. However, I also noticed that she was being completely honest. She told me that she loved me and only me. I found it a little hard to believe since there were so many other people she could fall in love with. Things eventually happened and she truly confessed her love to me. In the spur of the moment, I told her that by the time she graduates and still feels the same way about me that I would return her feelings."

"That's great!"

"I don't know."

"What are you talking about?"

"I kind of said that to make her feel better. She's been kind of down because of the things I said to her and I just didn't want her to be sad anymore."

"So you were lying?"

"No, of course not. It's just that… I don't know how this will affect us.

"Meaning?"

"She loves me and that's obvious. She even tried to have sex with me."

"Oohhh, how did that go?"

"It didn't. I stopped her before we could."

"Aww, how could you do that? You gotta get the goods."

"Shut up."

"So what went wrong? Was it you? Her?"

"It was me. It's been so long since I've been touched like that before that I panicked. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I did know that I wasn't ready. I still don't know a lot about her and I wasn't really comfortable with allowing my body to belong to her."

"Hmm, I see. That's a very logical response. I don't blame you at all. You know how to handle things very well."

"Haha, I don't think so. The more and more this thing goes on, the more I feel I'm being pulled into a black hole where I can't see anything inside of it. It scares me. Sometimes it feels right and sometimes it feels wrong. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be having this kind of conflict. What should I do? I don't want this uneasiness to last until her graduation." Cinder was silent for the first time of the night. She was thinking about what I said, and it really made me feel good that this woman cared about me enough to help me out with this kind of thing.

"When was the last time you went on a date?"

"Huh?"

"A date. You know what those are, right?"

"I'm not stupid. Of course I know what a date is. It's just that that was such a random question that it took me by surprise."

"Well, when was the last time you went on one?" I was so hesitant to answer her question because the answer was so embarrassing.

"Like 18 years ago when I met my husband." She tried holding her laugh, but it was just too hard. She nearly fell out of her chair when I told her. "Thank you very much for understanding."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I meant no offense. It's alright. We all work at our own pace."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry about it. Anyway, I think I have a plan." I starting to worry about where this was heading. "You say you don't know Yang at all, right?" I nodded my head. "But you also said that she genuinely loves you." I nodded my head again. "Okay, so let's do this. I'll have Yang ask you out on a date and that's when you can decide if it's right for you to believe this girl." I nearly exploded.

"Are you kidding me? You want me to go on a date with a high school girl?"

"Hey, it's the only way for you to feel more secure about this. I don't like the idea of you being loved by someone you don't even know so this is the best thing we can do."

"But… It's been so long. I'm not even sure if I even know what to do on a date."

"Don't worry about that. I'm sure Yang will handle everything. All you have to do is observe and see if she is what you want her to be. If she's not, you can straight up tell her that you can't be the person she wants you to be. I'm sure she'll understand."

"Cinder, why are you doing this?"

"To be honest, I don't have a lot of friends, and I want to make sure that my one friend as the best life she can possibly have." At that moment, I had a thought. This world isn't so bad after all. There are people in the world that are just genuinely good people and I was thankful enough to meet one. I leapt at her and wrapped my arm around her.

"Thank you for listening to me and understanding me."

"Of course. We ladies gotta stick together." I couldn't help but laugh. In a sense, we were very similar. I didn't have a lot friends so spending time with her made me feel relevant again.

End of Chapter 18

**Ending Note:** This is an honest question and I would appreciate to hear from you guys. I've been hesitant in putting a sex scene between Yang and Alex. What do you guys think? I already have the rest of this story planned out. I just want to hear what you guys have to say.


	19. Chapter 19

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 19

A Date After so Long

Apparently, Cinder works really fast because a knock came from my door just the next day after. It was Yang and she asked me out on a date. At first, I thought it was only because Cinder told her about her plan, but when I asked, she said Cinder hadn't even talked to her. I took a few moments to think, but then decided to let her take me on a date.

Today was that day and for some reason, I was feeling extremely nervous. In my head, I was trying not to think of it as a date, but on the outside, everything was telling me that it was. Although I told her that I would consider her feelings after all of this, I couldn't help but wonder how Blake would feel if she realized what was happening. I wasn't completely sold on this idea of going out with some high school student, but there was something present within me saying that it worth taking the risk. I sighed out loud as the thoughts just seemed to confuse me even more.

It was 3:00pm and Yang was planning on coming to get me at 4:30. I stood in front of my closet and wondered what I should wear. Back then, people always wore really nice stuff to dates, but I was sure that those times have changed. Formal attire wasn't a thing in society anymore when it came to dates. But again, I didn't really know why I was thinking about this so much. There was no way anything would come out of this. It would just be a simple night out to find out more about this girl. That was Cinder's plan and I was determined to make it my plan as well.

As time passed, I finally figured out my wardrobe. I grabbed a nice pair of black capris and a purple ruffled blouse. I looked myself in the mirror and automatically, the image of a teacher came to my head. I was just no good at this stuff. I was comfortable and to me, it looked pretty cute so I stuck with it.

At that moment, the doorbell rang and I took a deep breath. This isn't anything special. All I'm doing is trying to get to know this girl. That's it. I walked to the front door and opened it up to see Yang in jeans and plaid shirt. I couldn't help but relieved. I was a little over-dressed, but she was wearing what I expected her to wear. She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the house.

"Hi Yang."

"Hi Alex." I flinched at the sound of her voice. I believe this was the first time she ever called me by my first name. It's not that it was wrong, I was just not ready for this level of comfort between us.

"So where are we going?"

"I had tickets to my favorite football team's game today so we'll head there first." Oh no. Sports. I absolutely knew nothing about sports. I wasn't very sporty myself and being dragged to a sports game was definitely outside of my comfort zone.

When we got to the stadium, I was overwhelmed. There were so many people there and all of them looked insane. They were dressed in the team's color as well as being painted that same color. They were all screaming and chanting for their team to win while Yang and I quietly weaved through the hoard of people until we made it into the stadium. We walked around to check out some things when she suddenly shoved a foam finger on my hand.

"What is this?"

"It's a little gift so that you'll remember this day." I couldn't but smile. "And plus, the crowd loves these." She took my hand again and guided through the whole place until we made our way to our seats. Surprisingly, we were in a pretty area. We could see the field without being too close to the action.

Once we sat down, I immediately asked her what this sport was and she happily explained it to me. It was definitely difficult to understand the concept, but she assured me that when the game started, I would be able to understand. Kickoff started and everyone cheered as loud as they could. Even Yang got up from her seat and cheered them on. I was still confused about what to do. It wasn't until our team scored when soething happened.

"Alex, we scored!"

"Really? What does that mean?"

"We're winning. Put your foam finger in the sky."

"Huh?"

"Just do it." I slowly raised my arm to the sky and at that moment, confetti shot out of the finger as everyone around us yelled "boom!" When it happened, I jumped in my seat from the surprise of the blast. "That was awesome, huh?"

"Awesome? You scared me."

"Haha, I'm sorry." The game went on, but as it did, I slowly started to pick up on what was happening. I saw the person who threw the ball, the one who carried the ball, and the ones who were trying to take the ball away. The more I started to understand it, the more I got into it. It wasn't until I got out of seat and started cheering them on as well. Because I was in the heat of the moment, I didn't really pay attention to Yang, but I'm sure she was a little surprised by my change of personality.

Once the game was over, we quickly exited the stadium to avoid any after-game problems. As we left, she asked me how I felt and I told her that I actually had a fun time. I never knew how fun sports games were and the kind of fan that Yang was made it even more enjoyable.

After that, she took me to another interesting place. It was some kind of Adventure Park or something. Kids were everywhere which told me that it wasn't a place for me, but Yang didn't care. She guided through the building until we arrived at the min golf area. She grabbed the clubs and balls and took me to the first hole. I was really nervous since I've never done anything like this. Also, I'm not sporty in any way so doing something like this was something that I probably couldn't pick up very easily. Yang put her ball on the starting place and took her first shot. The hole was straight shot so Yang managed to get it pretty close to the hole. When she was done, she moved out of the way and gestured for me to start.

"Um, I don't know how to say this, but I've never actually played golf or anything so I don't really know what to do."

"Okay, I'll help you out." She walked behind me and griped me by the shoulders. She stuck me right next to the starting place where I placed the ball. After that, she came up close behind me and put her hands on mine. "So you grip your hands like this?" I couldn't help but get a little nervous. This feeling was really soothing, but also very unique. My palms were starting to sweat which was making holding the club a little difficult. "Once you got that, she look down to where the hole is and aim with your body.

I couldn't concentrate. Yang's chest was pressed against my back, but the strange this was that she was nervous. It didn't show it, but her heart told me otherwise. It was beating a million miles an hour and I didn't know what to do so I just let her handle the ropes for the first shot. She pulled her hands back and then thrust them back forward, hitting the ball to the hole. We watched it intensively until it trailed all of the way into the hole.

"Hey, you got a hole-in-one!" Yang was cheering, but I was a little out of it. I was still thinking about what just happened. I was nervous this entire time, but Yang looks like she's been doing this forever. And yet, when her body was pressed against mine, her heart was racing as if she was facing a life or death situation.

This girl is a lot different than what I first thought her out to be.

End of Chapter 19


	20. Chapter 20

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 20

The True Purpose

**Note:** Dang! It's been a long time since I've made a 20+ chapter story. I hope this doesn't make anyone overly excited, but there's still a lot left to the story so I hope you keep on reading. Once again, I want to thank you to everyone who's supporting this story. I had no idea this would turn out to be something that I enjoyed writing every day. Anyway, I've got more time to thank you guys in the future so I hope you enjoy another update.

After all of the fun and games, we eventually grew hungry. Yang took my hand and guided me back into the city where we went in search of a restaurant. At that moment, I didn't really have a craving since anything sounded good to me. On the other hand, it appeared as if Yang had a destination to get to so I simply stayed quiet and waited for whatever she had planned.

All of the restaurants we ended up passing all looked so good, but she didn't want to go into any of them. I sighed, but not to disturb her concentration. I had to be optimistic in that she would take me somewhere worth my while. After a few more minutes or walking, she stopped me in front of a peculiar building and said that this was the place. I looked up and saw that we were at the fanciest restaurant in the city, also the most expensive. I quickly pulled out my wallet and rummaged through the cash. I definitely did not have enough for this, but out of nowhere, she grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me inside.

"Wait, I can't possibly pay for this."

"What are you talking about? I'm paying." My eyes shot wide open. This was a very responsible thing to do and there was no sign of hesitation in her voice.

"Good evening ladies. I can see it's a girl's night out." Yang nodded with a smile. "Well, you came at the right time. We have a couple of tables that just opened up so if you'd follow me, I'll show you to your places."

"Great." Still holding my wrist, we made our way through the restaurant until we arrived at our spots. Another weird thing happened. Yang pulled out my chair as if she was the gentleman on a date. I tried not to make a big deal out of it so I took my seat and tried to get comfortable. The waitress asked for drinks, but we asked for simple things like water and coca cola. "So you excited?" I was still looking around the place when Yang dropped that question on me.

"Huh? Oh, this place is incredible. I knew you'd like it. You seem like the kind of woman who'd have high tastes in standards." I couldn't help but spit out my water since that was nowhere near the truth.

"Anyway, am I doing a good job?" And there it was. Her question of my approval towards her.

"Yang, I appreciate everything you've done for me today, but to be honest, I only went on this date to get to know you better. That's it."

"Oh, alright. We can still do that." She scooted in her chair and leaned closer towards me.

"What?"

"What what? Ask me anything you want." I sighed.

"How about we start off from the very beginning? Hello, my name is Alexandra Belladonna and I'm a nurse at a local school. How about you?"

"Well, I'm Yang Xiao Long and I'm now a junior in high school. It's taken me a long time to realize it, but I'm in love with the most beautiful woman in the world." I nearly fell out of my chair. She was pulling cheap shots this early in the conversation. At that moment, the waitress came back around and took our orders. After that, we were given a lot of time to get into this conversation of getting to know each other.

"So, is there anything else that's special about yourself?"

"Um, I don't like to brag, but I guess there are some things. I actually played football in middle school. I was the only girl on the team, but everyone respected me since I could hit people when I needed to. I hate girly things if you haven't already figured that out yet. Other than that, I'm on open book on everything. What about you?" For some reason, that question took me by surprise. I didn't really know what to say so it took me a while to come up with something that would be appropriate for the situation.

"I, uh… I'm a single mother with a daughter who is also a junior." That was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to say. "In my family, I'm the middle child so things have always been a challenge to me, but I've always managed to get through some tough times. I've only been in one real relationship, but that didn't end very well." I don't know why I had to put that on the table. She didn't need to know that.

"So have you always wanted to be a school nurse?"

"I don't know about a school nurse. I did work in a hospital one time, but for some reason, the atmosphere of that building was just too much so I decided to go down an easier path. Now, that path has brought me to being the school nurse."

"Haha, so I'm guessing you majored in nursing or some kind of medical field."

"Actually, I was never able to finish my degree. Things happened and I had Blake before I could."

"Aw, I'm sorry. It's okay. I got through most of the requirements so raising her was actually really easy. I got to use what I learned from school and it was actually really effective. Up until I was left alone." I dropped my head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you bring that up. That's my fault. We can change the subject if you want."

"No, no, it's fine. It's just… Now that I think about it, Blake never had a father in her life. It only took a couple days for him to pack up and leave. Once that happened, I was forced to be on my own. I cared for her, loved her, did everything for her; I just can't stand the idea that I've done something wrong. I gave her everything and I'm just afraid to lose her." I brought my hands up to my face to try and stop the tears when my hands were suddenly grabbed out of the air by Yang.

"You know, I have this dog. His name is Zwei. He is just the cutest thing ever. His eyes are so huge and he always makes his way onto my bed when I go to sleep at night. Unfortunately, almost every night I get woken up by a bang and when I open my eyes, I see that he fell off the bed. Even though it ruins my sleep, it always makes me laugh. He's my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without him." Out of nowhere, my tears dried up. It didn't feel like I was about to cry. What did she just do to me?

At that moment, our food arrived and Yang started to dig in. For me, it took me awhile to start eating. I couldn't believe I was thinking about that time in my life again. I always told myself that I would forget about the bad things in my life, but they constantly linger around as if they were meant to stay inside of my head. I don't know why that is. I just want to be rid of those things. When I snapped out of my trance, I look over to the other side of the table to see Yang chowing down on her food. She was making a mess, but didn't care one bit about it. That put a smile on my face which told me to finally pick up my fork and eat.

As we ate our food, we didn't really share a lot of things. The food was too good to think about anything else. However, I started to realize that all of this time was about me. I threw everything on the table while Yang listened. That wasn't the reason I was here. I was totally failing at this plan. I sighed once again as I tried to enjoy the rest of my food.

It didn't feel like I was getting anywhere, but on Yang's face, it was a completely different story. Maybe I was the one who should be opening up. Maybe I'm the one who needs to share my life. Maybe I'm the one who doesn't understand this whole thing.

Maybe.

End of Chapter 20


	21. Chapter 21

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 21

It Keeps on Happening

**Note:** I want to give a shout out to all of the mothers out there. You guys are the best, and don't you forget it. If you're reading this and you aren't a mother, good find one and give her hug. I don't care if you don't even know her. Just do it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this update.

Dinner was fantastic. They food was amazing and it felt as if a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder. I was able to share with Yang some of the deepest things in my life. That wasn't really part of my plan, but she also did some talking which made me feel better. She was completely open to talking about herself and I was able to figure her out even more. Even though I already knew it, she was a very open person. She wasn't a big fan of school or girly things, but she said that her biggest wish was the learn more about love. That's where our conversation ended. She paid for the meal and we headed back to my house.

On the way home, I decided to stay quiet. I spoke for most of the night so I even had to digest the words I shared with her. Surprisingly, Yang was on the quiet side as well. I didn't bother asking her what was up since a lot has happened in the past few hours. Once we got home, I opened the door and decided to let her in for a few more minutes. The night was still young so there was no need to send her home.

At that moment, I frozen in thought. Why was I doing this? We've said our words. I've learned more than enough about her. I should send her home. Why am I allowing her in my house? I pressed my hand against my head and tried to calm down.

"Alex, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I'm just getting a little headache."

"Alright, why don't you lie down for a bit?"

"No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"How can I not? You just suddenly starting acting like this. There's no way I would take notice of this and not do anything about it."

"Yang, please. It's fine."

"No, it's not." She tried grabbing my shoulder, but I slapped her hand out of the air.

"Just leave. I've had enough for one day." The whole house went silent. We were both speechless and to be honest, I didn't really know what was happening. I slowly walked to the back of the house and into my room while Yang honorably left without saying a word. For the rest of the night, I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling in question.

What the hell did I just do? What came over me? Those questions remained in my head until I finally fell asleep. Unfortunately, it wasn't a pleasant night of rest. I tossed and turned thinking about Blake and Yang. If things continued to go on like, I would have to tell Blake about this and God knows how she'll react. God knows what that'll mean for me. If I end up unable to do it, I'd have to break Yang's heart once again. It's happened so often for her that I don't even know if she can handle it again. The more I continued to think about it, the more I realized that I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place.

…

The days went by and I remained in my room. I didn't bother getting ready or anything since it wasn't even worth it. The ceiling was my only friend. It offered solace in a time in my life where I felt like it was impossible. Although this was true, I still had those thoughts that made me hurt in the heart and mind.

I thought things would be resolved by now. I thought things would return to normal by going down this path, but apparently, life isn't so simple. I've only chosen the path where sacrifices must be made. I've made so many sacrifices already though. Hasn't my life been nothing of giving? I've given everything to those around me. Blake is my life and yet, I'm still facing the fact that there are things that I still need to resolve. I didn't ask for this. I didn't want this. I just wanted a life where I could be happy with the people I love.

These thoughts were leeched onto my brain to where that was the only thing I did. Food and water didn't appear important to me. Hygiene and other things didn't seem important either. I just laid on my bed trying to figure out what I should do. That's when I thought back to the date I had with Yang.

It was supposed a time where I could learn about her, but I ended up sharing my own life instead. Yes, I did feel like weight was lifted off of my shoulders, but at the same time, it felt like even more was packed on once the night was over. I can't really explain it, but it just didn't seem right. People can be used as outlets to help get through tough times in life, but that wasn't the case this time. I was so confused. Nothing was making sense anymore. I was exhausting my mind so much to where nothing seemed right and everything felt hazy.

After a couple of more days or maybe about a week, I finally fell off my bed and satisfied my biological needs. Unfortunately, it didn't feel refreshing. I ate food to fill me up and drank water to replenish myself, but it didn't do anything for me. Why was this sort of thing happening?

It wasn't until my phone started buzzing where I finally snapped out of my trance. I picked it up to see that Blake's flight was returning today. I looked at the time and saw that it was about only 3 hours until she arrived. I quickly smacked my face as hard as I could and got ready as fast as I could. Apparently, I was so lost in thought that time wasn't a factor in my life. I couldn't believe that that was possible. Once I finished getting ready, I saw that there was about an hour left. I jumped in the car and drove as fast as I could to the airport. Without breaking any laws, I got there as fast as I could, keeping a close watch on the time. Time was not a friend at the moment. I arrived at the airport and dashed to her terminal. I don't know how many people I bumped into, but it was a lot.

The war to get to my destination continued. There were so many obstacles in my path that it was almost impossible to run anymore. I strategically plotted where I needed to go until I finally slipped out of the crowd. I bent over onto my knees and blew out a lung as a familiar voice broke through the madness.

"Mom? Are you alright?" I slowly raised my head to see Blake waiting for me with all of her belongings. Out of nowhere, a smile appeared on my face. "You know you're kind of late."

"What are you talking about? I got here when you're flight was scheduled to arrive."

"No, I texted you saying that we were ahead of schedule." My eyes shot wide open. How was that possible? I wasn't aware of this. I pulled out my phone and saw that there was one unread message. Apparently, I was in such a rush that I completely ignored. I guess I'm just the biggest idiot on the planet. I stood up straight and walked towards Blake.

"Welcome back, sweety." I opened my arms and she dropped her things and jumped right at me.

"I'm happy to be back."

I couldn't have been happier seeing her face once again.

End of Chapter 21

**Ending Note:** So, recently, my editor decided to move on to other things which I'm really sad about. She really made things go by easier for me since I have a lot on my plate. However, this leaves me with an opportunity to ask my fans. If there's anyone interested in editing/reviewing my works, I'd really appreciate it. If you're interesting, please PM me and I'll see what I can do.


	22. Chapter 22

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 22

A Peaceful Return

We quickly left the airport and headed home as fast as we could. On the drive home, Blake couldn't stop talking about how fun it was to be with her grandparents again. I didn't mind this at all. Hearing her voice was such a soothing sound that I wanted it to go on forever. She talked about the food, the summer festival at the city where they lived, and how she was able to hang out with some of her friends from the neighborhood. I was glad she had a good time. It was definitely better than what I had to deal with.

"So what did you during my time away?" My face went white and couldn't find the words to her question. "You've been really quiet." That's when I quickly retreated to my thoughts. Should I tell her about everything? I don't know if I should. I'm not even sure of what happened myself. No, let's leave things alone for a bit. She just came back. I took a deep breath and smiled.

"Are you kidding me? I can't do anything by myself. You always take the fun wherever you go." At that moment, a huge smile emerged on Blake's face and it gave such a sign of relief. I don't know why, but this girl always made me feel good about myself. Not matter what I do in this world, she makes me feel like I'm never wrong.

When we got home, I gladly grabbed her stuff for her as she ran into the house to breathe in the familiar smell. I struggled to get everything in one trip, but it didn't really matter. I went up to her room and dropped her luggage inside of her room. She followed close behind me, taking in all that she missed for the past few weeks. I couldn't help but speak up about her behavior.

"What are you doing? It's not like you've been away one military service."

"Hey, don't judge me. I love this place. Any time away makes me miss it. I can't help you. I raised me well." Out of nowhere, she jumped into my body and hugged me as tight as she could. "I missed you. I'm sorry for saying that when I first saw you." Her words are like something out of a tear jerking romance movie. I don't know why I felt so vulnerable around her. I mean, I was her mother and all, but it just felt more than just blood relations. I sighed and rested my head on hers.

"I missed you too."

With her home, it gave us about a month and a half to spend time together. There was no need to rush, but we did everything we could. We went out and ate nearly every day. I was definitely spoiling her a little too much since my wallet got lighter and lighter by the day. If we weren't out, we were messing around at home doing some pretty stupid stuff that I won't go into detail. It didn't even feel like she was becoming a junior in high school. She still acted like my little girl, but with normal signs of growing older. Also, I didn't even feel like I was getting older. I know it was just a month or so, but I felt good. It was almost as if I complete marathon or something.

Near the end of summer, I got mail from the school going the procedures that needed to be taken before the next school started. Once I got that piece of mail, out times together slowly got shorted, but Blake did everything she could to spend time with me. I had to go back to school a lot, but she was willing to follow as I forced to do work. Since I was the nurse, there wasn't a lot that I actually needed to do. I just had to make sure that all of the supplies were up to date, but other than that, I just had to stand around and hear the other teachers argue at each about grading and other lame teacher stuff.

For some reason, this was definitely the worst time of the year. It wasn't even the actual school that was bad. Preparing and doing all of this stuff was just bad. Occasionally, I ran into a problem where I needed to update some things, but if everything was good, I was paranoid about it not being good. Teachers and their OCD… No one can do anything about it.

The days slowly wound down until it was the day before the next school started. Of course, Blake was not happy, but I reassured her that her junior year would be a good year. For me, my junior year was definitely one of the best years in high school so I was sure she could have a similar experience.

When day turned to night, we both got ready for bed when the strangest thing happened. Blake ran into my room with her pajamas on and everything as she jumped onto my bed. I was confused because usually this behavior means I triggered something, but I don't recall doing anything like that.

"Um, what are you doing?"

"Sleep with you."

"And why are you doing that?"

"Are you saying I can't?"

"I'm not saying that. I'm just curious as to why you'd want to."

"What? I can't sleep with my own mom."

"Well, usually it's because something happened that is making you do this."

"Don't be ridiculous I'm not that simpleminded. Come on." She patted the other side of the bed where I usually slept and sighed. I was so hopeless. I turned off the lights and crawled in next to Blake as we enjoyed our last night of summer together.

"Good night Blake."

"Good night. I love you." She rarely spoke those words so I took full advantage of it. I grabbed her body and pulled it towards mine and squeezed tight.

"I love you too."

"Please don't ever leave me." Out of nowhere, my eyes shot wide open. What the hell did that mean? What brought her to say that? Does she know? There's no way she could know. I kissed her on the cheek and tried to fall asleep, but that last comment remained in my head for most of the night.

Please don't ever leave me. What did she mean by that?

End of Chapter 22

**Ending Note: **Sorry for the short chapter, but school just ended for me so I'll be able to focus on my writing once again.


	23. Chapter 23

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 23

Junior Year Starts

The next day started quite early. I was woken up by a kiss on my cheek. I slowly cracked open my eyes and saw Blake looking at me with a smile on her face. That was such a good way to start off the day. I climbed out of bed and the two of us got ready. After that, we had our usual breakfast and made our way to school like normal. When we arrived to the school. The whole place was like any normal first day of school. Everywhere was packed as everyone was reuniting with their friends. We walked through the school gates when a hand gently rubbed against my shoulder. I turned my head to see Yang skipping past the two of us. It's definitely been awhile since I've seen that girl, but I was glad to see that she was doing well.

Once Blake spotted some of her friends, we broke off where I went to my room and cleaned up for another school year. The first day was always the worst for me because everyone was always careful as to not cause any problems, but I remained vigilant. It was my job so I wasn't going to slack off about it.

I returned to my desk and reviewed the changes to this year's schedule. I noticed that there were three chances for students to have a free period: 2nd, 6th, and 7th. I couldn't help but feel jealous. When I was in school, our schedules always had to be filled or else we wouldn't be able to graduate. The times have definitely changed. I looked away from my computer to see my door slide open. I checked the time and noticed that it was 2nd period. Maybe Blake was here to visit. A foot was placed through the doorway and I immediately found out that it wasn't Blake.

"Hi Alex." It was Yang.

"Hi Yang. You have a free 2nd period?"

"Yep, I'm so glad. For some reason, I was never a big fan of 2nd period so having this time off really makes things better."

"Well, I'm glad that you're enjoying it. Would you like something to drink?"

"Um, coffee please." Kids these days and their coffee; they just can't get away from it. I went over to my coffee maker while Yang grabbed my chair and rolled around the middle of the room. She was obviously comfortable in here. After I finished making her coffee, I turned around and was immediately by her lips against mine. I was clueless for a couple of seconds before realizing what she was doing. I quickly pushed her off in panic.

"What are you doing?"

"I haven't seen you in a while so I thought you might need a kiss."

"Yang, we're at school. You can't do that."

"I know. I just wanted to. I missed you." I took a deep breath and handed the coffee to her as I turned back around and bent over against the table.

"That's no excuse. Don't you remember our promise?" At that moment, she realized the promise we made that she would have to wait until she graduates to be able to show such feelings out in public.

"Y-Yes," she said shyly.

"Alright. Please show restraint. You can't be doing irresponsible things inside of my room."

"I'm sorry." After those words, my room was silent for a good half hour. I remained looking down at the table while I heard my chair slowly slide around the room. For some reason, things felt so awkward between us. I didn't know why, but it was obvious that Yang could feel that same tension. All we could hear was the soft sounds of our breathing.

What could I say to her? Was there even anything I needed to say to her? I was the one who had to be the responsible one in this situation so I've done my part. I stated the rules of this situation and it's her job to uphold those terms. I released a huge breath of air as the bell rang for another period to start. I didn't budge from my spot. Yang stood up slowly, but took her time leaving my room.

"I'm glad I got to see you again. Is it alright I come back tomorrow?" At that moment, there was a slight pain in my chest as I heard those words leave her mouth. I tried opening my mouth, but it took me a while to actually speak anything back to her.

"S-Sure. You're welcome anytime."

"Okay. Bye Alex." Again, she was calling me by my name on school grounds. Does that girl know no restraint? I slowly turned around to see my chair in the middle of the room with nothing else there. I was alone once again. I slowly walked over to my chair and rolled back towards my desk where I collapsed onto my butt.

What is going on here? Why am I so confused? I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes. Surprisingly, this made me feel a little better, but those thoughts still remained inside of my head.

A couple of hours went by and lunch finally came around. As I waited, my stomach got very impatient with me so hearing the lunch bell relived me of my personal difficulties. I opened up my room as always as the usual students found their way inside. I said hello to everyone and they said hi back. Once the crowd slowed, Blake made her way inside and unpacked her things at my desk. It was her junior year and she was still eating lunch with me. There was no way I could stop her, but I did feel like I was being a distraction to her other friends who wanted to spend time with her.

"Hey Blake?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you ever eat lunch with your friends?"

"Not really. I told them I like to eat lunch with you and they totally understood."

"I see. Don't you want to though?"

"What are you saying? Do you now want me to eat with you?"

"No, I'm not saying that per se. It's just… if you want to eat with them, I don't want to stop you." There was a slight pause in our conversation.

"I know. I just wanted to eat lunch with you today."

"But we eat every other meal together."

"Oh, well, maybe I'll just pack up my things and leave," she said as she grabbed her bag and stood up.

"No, no. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be jerk."

"You're always a jerk," she said with a smile. I returned the gesture as she returned to my desk and continued to eat her lunch. Thankfully, I remembered to eat my food as well and filling my stomach definitely made me feel better.

After lunch was over, everyone quickly exited my room and finished up the rest of the day. As for me, nothing happened. My room remained empty which kind of made me feel good because that showed that no one was being stupid on the first day of school. The other days, though, don't really have the same thought process. I waited and waited until the final bell rang and then I packed up my things. I organized everything before I left just so I could be ready to go tomorrow morning. Once everything was set, I left and made my way to the front gate where Blake was waiting. I met up with her and we walked home. Right as we started off, that same hand that grazed my shoulder this morning did it again. Yang passed us without saying a single thing. Was this going to be a common thing as like a hello and goodbye?

On the way home, Blake let it all out as she said that her classes were great. All of her teachers were really cool and most of her friends were in her class as well. Immediately, I knew that this was going to be a good year for her… just like me. I smiled the entire time she talked. Things were getting better…

That's what I thought.

End of Chapter 23


	24. Chapter 24

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 24

The Regular

The next year of school really took off. The days went by like nothing and with each day, Yang visited my classroom as she began to make it her regular thing. I welcomed her as always and asked if she wanted anything to drink anything. Of course, her answer was coffee and I still found it strange that a girl at such a young age drank coffee like she does with water. Once that was over, I remained quiet. But on the other hand, Yang always managed to find something to talk about and for me, I found these topics were interesting. They weren't things girls at this age would talk about so it made sense as to why I found such interest in them. When we talked, it felt like time went by so fast that we couldn't get everything in that we wanted to say.

I don't really know to describe it. I'm constantly conflicted when I'm by myself, but when she enters the room and starts talking about random things, it's like my mind just drifts to Neverland. Everything in the world seems right without a single thing wrong with it. When the bell rings and the conversations ends, that's when I'm hit with reality and things immediately go back to how they were. I wish I could make this just stop, but it was impossible. I knew the circumstances of this problem.

As long as a piece is missing in my heart and as long as she still has feelings for me, this internal will never go away. Once I realized that, I knew that I had to keep on fighting and figure out a way to resolve this cleanly.

Eventually a week came around when the school board did their weekly observations of their teachers. I never understood this. I mean, it's good to know what the teachers are doing inside of class, but to observe me as if I have things I need to teach? That's just a little ridiculous. There's nothing to observe. I'm the school nurse. My skills are put to the test when I problem shows up at my door. That's when I got the thinking. Maybe they were going to test me. If that was the plan, I was going to be super prepared.

When the day started, three members from the school board entered my room with clipboards and for some reason, seeing that put me a little on-edge. I welcomed them and quickly went over how my room was a safe place for the students. I've handled every situation perfectly so if there was going to be a problem today, I would be able to handle.

For first period, nothing really happened. We mostly talked. I got familiar with who was on the school board. Thankfully, none of them looked like threatening people which made their stay a little lighter on my part. Once our conversations started to die down, that's when things started to feel awkward. They sat near the door while I was at my desk with nothing left to say. No one came in make things less awkward so I just had to deal with this for like 3 or 4 more periods or however long they decide to stay.

Time went on and second period finally came around. That's when I realized something. Yang was probably going to visit me again. There was no way I could tell her not to come today so I just had to brace myself for what was to come. The final bell rang which made everyone get to class. I took a deep breath as my door swung open.

"Hi Alex!" There was no way I could respond. Her introduction was very improper and completely clueless. I stood there in silence until she opened her eyes and examined the situation. "Sorry. I mean, Ms. Belladonna."

"Hi Yang. Would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you." She slowly entered the room and walked over to her usual bed. It was obvious that she did a wrong and there was no way she could take it back.

"Um, Ms. Belladonna, what is a student doing in here when she should be in class?" Yang looked at me with a worried look on her face so I quickly stepped in to ease the situation.

"She has a free period right now. I'm sure you're aware of it. And since my room is pretty empty most of the time, I said I'd let her come in here whenever she wants." They gave me a dirty look. I'm guessing it was the way worded the last part of my answer.

"I see. Very well." They immediately went silent and started to write on their clipboards. This worried me and for some reason, it made me really thirsty. I went over to the mini fridge and pulled out some water. As I did, Yang came up next to me whispered in my ear. I tried pushing her away, but she refused. The situation was only getting worse for me.

"What are they doing here?"

"What do you think? They're evaluating me, and right now, I don't think I'm doing very well."

"Really? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I doubt it Yang. I think it would be better if you just leave. I'm sorry." She stood up and headed towards the door, but as I listened, the door never opened. That's when I heard her voice break through the silence.

"I apologize for my behavior! Please don't mark her down because of me." My eyes shot wide open as I turned around to witness what was happening. "It's my fault. If you're going to punish anyone, I'm the one who deserves it. She was just being a good person and sheltering me when I needed a place to stay for my free time. I hope you can understand." I grabbed her wrist and pushed her outside of my room.

"Yang, please. I asked you to go. I didn't need you to do that."

"But I thought it would help."

"I know. Just please, go."

"Okay, I'm sorry." Without saying anything, she left in silence. I sighed really loudly and walked back into my room and watched as the observers left as I came back in. that definitely did not go as I wanted it to go. I walked over to my desk and slammed my head on the table. Things just don't like to go according to the ways I want them to.

When school was over, I slowly packed up my things and made my way to the front gate where I met up with Blake. There was no way to hide what happened so she ended up asking what was wrong. I couldn't bring myself to tell her what happened so I just said that I was tired. It may not seem like it, but I lied to her again. My lies toward my daughter were continuing to add up. The silence between us continued to linger even as we got home. I prepared dinner in silence and ate dinner in silence. It wasn't long until Blake had enough of my little act. She slammed her utensils on the table and looked right at me.

"Okay, what is going on?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been acting really strange lately, and I don't really like it." This girl was really good. But then again, she was my daughter so of course she would know me the most.

"It's nothing important. You don't need to worry about me." Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. She stood up and walked over to my side of the table. She poked out the chair next to me and stared me down. I stayed quiet, but she knew what I was doing. I sighed and let her know what happened. "Okay, alright, you got me. Members from the school board observed me, but things didn't really go according to plan."

"What are you saying? Is that bad?"

"I don't know. I doubt it though."

"Are you sure?"

"Blake, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You need to worry about yourself. Your junior year isn't going to be easy so you need to focus."

"Ugh, you have a point there so I'll listen to you this time. But you need to smarter too."

"Okay mom, I promise."

"Don't mock me." She stood up, grabbed her plate, and walked back into the kitchen and cleaned up. This was yet another moment in our lives where we switched roles. This didn't happen often and it felt weird whenever it did.

End of Chapter 24


	25. Chapter 25

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 25

Another One?

**Note:** Here's a special update for you guys. We finished our tour of the east coast pretty quickly and are about to leave the country. I got to see New York and it was very crowded. It was definitely not my kind of place. The next time you guys hear from me, I'll be in Europe so wish me luck. I hope you all enjoy.

That evaluation continued to leave a bad taste in my mouth. If only Yang hadn't shown up that day, I wouldn't be feeling like this. I just couldn't get over it. As the days went by, Yang continued to visit my room and she started to resort to her old ways. I didn't know why. I thought I made it clear to her that she had to be patient so unfortunately, I was forced to remind her of her promise. My stern voice caused her to back away in fear and leave in silence. It just felt like things were getting harder for me.

After some time, going to school was a struggle. I woke up lazily and felt as if there was an anchor tied to my leg. I trudged along while Blake helped me out. She couldn't help but ask if I was getting old. All I could do was laugh. That comment really lightened my day up, but it wasn't untrue. I know I was only nearing my mid-forties, but the years were piling up.

It didn't seem like it, but first semesters finals were already in high gear making my room fairly quiet. The whole school was either studying for a test or taking one. All I could do was wait until school was over. When the last day of finals came around, my door swung open which gave me a little surprise. My head was on my desk and I didn't feel like seeing who it was. However, the door immediately closed and I heard someone run over to me. Blake, what are you doing here?

"Alex, what are you doing? Are you okay?" From underneath my arms, my eyes widened as I recognized that voice. It wasn't Blake.

"Yang, why are you here? Shouldn't you be studying?"

"I'm all done with my tests. Are you okay? Usually, you seem so chipper." My head was still in my arms.

"I don't know. I've been feeling really tired lately."

"You want me to walk you over to the bed?"

"No, it's alright. The day's almost over. I can muscle through it for a little while longer." There was a sudden pause in our conversation. All I heard was a bag drop to the ground and a hand that was placed on my shoulder. Finally, I managed to look up to see Yang looking right at me.

"Um, I know I made that promise to you, but…" Yang looked down with a flushed face. "Would you like to go on another date with me?" My face finally changed.

"Eh?! What? We can't."

"I know. It's just that… You've seemed really down and I wanted to see if I could make you feel better."

"Yang, I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine." She suddenly took my hand and continued to stare into my eyes.

"Please, you don't have to act so strong. Let me be here for you." There it was. She just had a way with words. She tried leaning closer to my face, but I gently place my hand in front of myself before she could.

"Yang, we can't. It's still too early for that."

"I know it is. I just… I hate seeing you so sad. You're so beautiful when you're happy and I want to see you happy again." I couldn't explain it, but I felt so weak whenever she talked like that. I mean, I know she wasn't casting a spell on me, but it always felt like it.

"I appreciate your words, but I just don't think…"

"If it's about what happened last time, I promise to make it better. Please let me make up for what has happened these past few days." I sighed. There was no getting through to this girl.

"Alright, I guess I could allow this just one last time." She suddenly grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye with every inch of honesty in her body.

"I promise I won't disappoint you this time." At that moment, she stormed out of the room. When she did, I immediately got a worried look on my face. How was I supposed to go on a date with her with Blake still here? She quickly retreated into her thoughts and tried to think of something. There was no way she sending Blake off again for that reason alone. I couldn't tell her that she was going on a date with Yang since she was her last girlfriend. There weren't enough options to come away with a satisfying ending. The internal struggle lasted until the day was finally over. Blake made her way to her mom's room and the two of them walked home.

First semester finals were over and it was finally time to hang out with family. Unfortunately, I still had to deal with her date with Yang and she was still unable to come up with any plans for Blake. At this point in time, I was forced either to lie to her or tell her the truth. Both ways are horrible paths to go down, but this was the only way. Once dinner was done, we sat around in the living room and hung out.

"Hey Blake."

"Yeah?"

"I, um, I know we're going to hang out this winter and all…" Blake suddenly leapt onto the couch and hugged her arm.

"Yeah we are, and I'm so excited."

"Haha, I bet." The longer it took to decide, the more it pained her inside. "Well, before we start, one of my friends from the bar I go to wanted to hang out with me tomorrow night and I said yes. I hope you don't mind."

"What?! You have friends?! I had no idea. If it's a friend, of course I don't mind."

"Are you sure? I'll feel bad if you're not okay with this."

"I'm fine. You can go have fun."

"Well, if you're allowing me to go, I don't mind if you hang out with some of your friends. Plus, I still don't feel comfortable with you hanging around at home alone."

"What?! I hang out here alone all of the time."

"Oh really?" I crossed my arms and gave her a dirty look and Blake immediately gave me a scared look.

"Okay I'm sorry. I never did anything irresponsible. I swear!" I took it slow and pointed my arm towards the kitchen.

"Go clean the dishes and I'll forgive you." Right as she was about to pout, I gave her that same look and she immediately quieted down. When she retreated into the kitchen, I immediately took a sigh of relief. My plan worked, but at a horrible cost. I lied to my own daughter yet again. I can't count up the lies, but it's just too much. I don't know why I don't feel anything when I lie anymore. It shouldn't be like this. I'm simply setting a horrible example for her. That night of sleep was simple horrible. There were no other words to describe it.

End of Chapter 25


	26. Chapter 26

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 26

The Second Date

**Note:** Hey everyone, my family and I have just finished up our time visiting Spain and France. It was incredible how beautiful Spain. I wasn't expecting things to be that incredible. Unfortunately, in France, they removed the bridge of love and I was a little saddened by that. Now, we're about to travel to Germany and Italy and see what's waiting for us there. Wish us luck and I hope you guys enjoy. Actually, I'd love to hear what you guys are doing to fill your time. I'm sure you're all doing soemthing just as awesome.

The morning finally came around where I would go on another date with Yang. The night before, I managed to clear some things up for her. My biggest concern was that I would come to her house and pick her up at noon. If she were to come over and pick me up, things just wouldn't be pretty. When we woke up, Blake and I ate breakfast together and she talked all about how she was so proud of me for hanging out with my friends. Unfortunately, I just couldn't look her in the eye. I was telling a horrible lie and she was going with it. I didn't feel right about this, but things were going smoother than I expected.

Once we finished our breakfast, I went to get ready. I had a lot of time before I needed to head over and I definitely took my time. I don't know how long I stood in the shower for, but it felt like an eternity. As I got ready, I made sure that it wasn't dressing in anything too formal. I did a pretty go job last time so I wanted to nail that part of the date. I did every other part of my morning routine and walked out in the living room where Blake was waiting for me.

"Alright, you all ready to go?"

"I guess so," I said with a weak voice.

"Aw, don't be so scared. Just act like yourself. I'm sure it'll go great. Now, don't make her wait." She suddenly put her hand against my back and pushed me out the door. "Go have fun." I stumbled a bit before recovering my stance.

"Hey Blake, wait."

"Yeah?"

"If there is a friend you want to go hang out with, I don't mind if you go over to their house or something. I just don't like the idea of you being here alone."

"Don't worry about me. If something comes up, I'll go with it. Now, get out of here," she said with a smile.

"Okay, bye." I waved to her and she waved back. I don't know why, but it felt as if I was leaving this planet on an exploration mission to find something I knew didn't even exist. I turned around slowly and headed off to Yang's house. I took a deep breath and tried to relax.

I leisurely walked to Yang's house with my mind racing. Everything inside of my head was conflicted. Some parts of me knew that this was wrong and other parts wanted this to go well. I couldn't decide on how I should act. Things were coming down to the wire. Yang only had one more year until I had to give her my true answer. I wasn't sure if I was ready to make such a commitment. At that moment, I remembered that day in my room. "I will return my feeling." How could I be so stupid? I said that with such confidence in my voice, like I knew that I could do it. I don't know if I can do that for her. It's been so long since I've had someone like that in my life and I'm not sure I'd know what to do.

After a few more minutes of walking and thinking, I arrived at Yang's house. I tried not to make too much noise as to give myself one final chance to think this over. I stared down her front door and made sure that this was something I wanted to do. However, nothing inside of me said that I shouldn't. So, I took one last deep breath and walked towards her door. I knocked and waited for a response. After a few seconds, the door swung open and out jumped Yang.

"Alex, I've missed you so much!" She leapt onto my arm which caught me off guard.

"Um, hi Yang. How are you?"

"I'm great. How about yourself?"

"I'm alright I guess."

"Guess? What's that mean?" I couldn't answer her. I just turned my head. "Well, it doesn't matter. Shall we?" Still attached to my arm, Yang guides me through her yard and back onto the street. I had no idea where we were going so I had to trust that Yang knew what a good second date meant.

We eventually walked into town and for some reason, we were attracting a lot of attention. Thankfully, I didn't recognize anyone who was giving us looks, but it just felt weird. We kept on walking until we finally came up on the movie theater. This was kind of shock because this girl didn't seem like the movie watching type. Also, it's been so long since I've actually seen a movie in theaters so this was kind of an interesting experience.

"So, what movie are we seeing?"

"I know this may be a little selfish, but I already picked the movie. I hope you're not mad about that."

"Don't worry about me. I just want to know what movie we're watching." Her face suddenly lit up.

"Well, it's about this band of superheroes who are really freaking cool. However, I'm only interested because there's this supposed romance between two of the team members." My face turned a little red. "Come on, we need to get good seats." She took my hand as we ran through the entrance and in towards the theater room. When we got inside, we were able to grab some good seats that didn't strain our necks if we looked at the screen.

We had some time before the movie started so I decided to go the concession stand to get some things to occupy our time. So far, things weren't going too bad. That's what I kept telling myself. When I got the concession stand, there was a reasonable line so I waited patiently. As I did, something poked me in the arm which caused me to turn around.

"Ms. Belladonna?" It was some of my students who ate in my room during lunch.

"Oh, hi girls, what are you doing here?"

"We're watching Fifty Shades of Grey." I nearly barfed at that comment. I never read the books, but I heard that that adaptation was ridiculous. "What are you doing here? You with someone?"

"Yeah, I'm with one of my friends. We're watching that hero movie or whatever."

"Avengers?! Oh my gosh, that movie was incredible. I'm sure you'll like it. Well, we gotta go. Our movie's starting soon. We hope to see you around again."

"Okay, have fun." I just couldn't believe it. High school girls were seeing that kind of movie. I seriously started to doubt the parenting skills of today. When it was my turn in line, I grabbed some snacks and some drinks and headed back inside the theater room. Yang was waiting patiently for me as the room filled up fast as I was gone. I took my seat as the film started.

…

As a whole, the movie was alright. The action was definitely something to remember. Apparently, there was a first movie that started it all. I wasn't able to watch it so I was kind of last in the beginning. The romance thing that Yang was talking about was kind of weird. I thought it would be a lot more lovey-dovey, but it was more along the lines of modest love. Nothing major happened, but it was obvious that they had feelings for each other. Something that I couldn't get out of my mind was that when they did have that moment in the movie, Yang gripped my arm and nearly came to tears. I couldn't help but ask myself. Is this really something to cry over? After the movie was done, she took my through town and into a restaurant for some food. It wasn't anything like the place we went to last time so I was able to relax.

The waiter snagged a table for us and we began our dinner. It was quiet at first, just like every date nowadays. When we got our drinks, that's when Yang started to hit it off. She talked about how excited she was for finally becoming a senior. I didn't know what her true motives were, but I had the feeling that it was because in the end, she would finally get to be with me.

Eventually, yang finally switched the role of the conversation to where I was the one who was talking. It was hard at first because I wasn't really sure what to talk about, but judging by Yang's expression on her face, nothing would have mattered. She constantly had on that smile as if she was in heaven. I mean, it was definitely a little strange that this girl was so attached to me, but I couldn't help but feel weak at the knees that someone out there truly cared for me. That's when things finally hit me.

The more we hung out like this, the more I started to realize how honest and how real this love that Yang had for me was.

End of Chapter 26


	27. Chapter 27

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 27

My Yearning Heart

**Note:** Hey everyone, I'm back and ready to continue on with this story. I can't tell you guys how excited I am for coming back and focusing on my writing again. I want to thank you all for your patience and understanding. Hearing from you guys during my time away made me miss this so much and I promise to not let you down. I hope you enjoy this update and I can't wait for you guys to finally dive into the meat of this story.

After dinner, I decided that it was enough for the day. We left the restaurant and headed back to Yang's house. That was the least I could do since I would feel guilty if I left her alone to get home at night. Once we arrived at her house, I tried getting away, but she held onto my wrist, preventing me from leaving.

"Would you like to come inside?" I couldn't do it. This day was already a stretch for me.

"Um, I think I should get home. I haven't heard from Blake today so I'm pretty sure she's still alone at home. I don't feel comfortable with her at home alone." I tried walking away, but her grip just got tighter.

"I know it may be hard since that the last time you were here, you were hurt, but I would love to host you again. Only this time, the right way." I looked at the time and saw that it was already 7 at night.

"Um, I guess I could stay for a little bit." She let go of my wrist and grabbed my hand to pull me inside. There wasn't anything special about it, but it did bring me back to that horrible night. I couldn't help but wander into the kitchen and stare at the ground in front of the fridge. That was where I nearly died. I know I'm making it sound more dramatic than what really happened, but for me, it was the worst thing I've ever experienced.

"Alex, if you want, you can head over to my room. I'll be right there. I'm just gonna get us something to drink."

"Okay." I nervously walked into the back of the house where her room was located. When I walked inside, I noticed that she made a few changes. The sheets on her bed were different since I pretty much soiled her other ones with my blood. This time, I got a chance to look around her room. On her walls, she had a lot of pictures with a lot of other girls. I couldn't help but wonder if those were her past girlfriends.

This girl definitely got around.

I continued to look at that wall of girls and saw that there was a free spot after Blake's picture. I didn't really know what it meant, but it did seem like there was something special about it. Around the empty space was a bunch of designs of hearts and other lovey-dovey stuff. Was this her ideal relationship spot? After a few minutes, she walked in to see me staring at the wall.

"Oh yeah, please don't think I'm weird or anything, but I like to remember the people I've dated."

"Why is that?"

"It reminds of the mistakes and hardships I've gone through so that the next one can be even better than the previous one."

"So why is this one so special?" She looked at the one with all of the designs and smiled.

"That's for my final girlfriend. After all of this time, I think I finally know how to please her with all of my love." She set down the tray of drinks and walked over to me. "Could you take a seat for a minute? There's something I want to ask you." She ushered me over to her bed and I sat down gently. "I know we made that promise and I know that there's still some time left. It's just that…"

"Yang?" I tried stopping her, but she wouldn't back down.

"I've finally turned 18 and I've tried holding myself back. I really have, but I just can't. I guess what I'm asking is that… Can you take me as I am now?" My eyes widened.

"Yang, I…"

"I know we made that promise for when I graduated, but I'm hurting." She grabbed my hand and placed it on her chest. I could feel the thumping of her heart. It was strong and loud. "You're the one that I've been waiting for you. I can make you happy. I can be the one who'll be there for you whenever you need me. We can…" I turned my head in shame.

"We can't. That promise is set in stone. It's still too early."

"How? I'm 18 now so there's nothing wrong with it." She got on her knees and scooted closer to me. "Can't I be the one to make you feel happy?" The pain inside of me was welling up. However, I couldn't describe it. It wasn't pain that I could feel in my own body, but pain for this girl. She wanted to be that special someone and she was willing to do anything she could to make that happen.

"We… just can't yet." Out of nowhere, she caressed my cheek and kissed me on the lips. At that moment, I felt so warm. Her lips were so soft and so gentle. We continued that kiss until we nearly ran out of breath.

"Alex… I want to make you happy. You deserved to be treated like a queen. I can do that for you." She got off of her knees and leaned in closer to me. For some reason, I couldn't meet her lips head-on again so I leaned backwards until I eventually fell on my back. Yang towered over me and kissed me once again.

"Yang, I…" She kissed me before I could finish.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle." She immediately started to kiss me on the neck which immediately made my heart race. She didn't know it, but that was definitely one of the most sensitive parts of my body. My back immediately started to arch at the touch of her soft lips against my skin. As she continued with that, she started to unbutton my shirt, revealing my bra. "Alex, you're so beautiful." She then started to kiss me down my body, finishing in the middle of my stomach.

"Yang, why do you know these kind of things," I struggled to ask.

"I told you. I've come a long way to make sure that my final girlfriend would be treated the way she deserves. And I'm not going to let you down." She suddenly removed her shirt and bra, revealing a very mature body. She had a very nice figure as well as good sized breasts. Unfortunately, I was too shy to tell her what was I was thinking. She removed my bra and started to gently massage them with her fingers.

At that moment, I couldn't control myself. I let out a soft moan which caused Yang to comment on it. She told me that it was adorable which only made me even more embarrassed. Her massage was very gentle which eased my body. It's been so long since someone's touched me like this and I couldn't believe it felt this good. Then, she started to suck on my nipples which made me moan even louder. This feeling was incredible. Not even my ex-husband was able to make me feel this good. She kept on doing it and the longer it went on, the more it felt like I was in heaven. After a few more minutes of that, she lowered her face near the brink of my pants and looked up for my approval. This was where I started to get a little hesitant. For some reason, I was unsure about her doing this to me. Already, this was too much. There was no need for her to service me like this, and yet… I was actually enjoying it. Of course, there was no way I could admit it. I could only stay quiet and allow this girl to have her way with me. She wasn't doing anything wrong. She was being very considerate of my feelings so I couldn't stop her. Also, deep down, I wanted her to go all of the way. Right as she started to unbuttoned my pants, I grabbed her hand with a bright red face.

"Yang, I don't know if I'm ready for this." She stopped and brought her eyes back up to me.

"Oh, if you're not ready then I won't push you." She came back up to my face and kissed me on the lips. "But… I would like to ask you something. Do you love me?" My eyes widened. All of this time has gone by and I haven't actually thought about the answer to that question. "I think I've been honest with my feelings so I want to know how you feel." I was too caught off guard to answer.

"Yang, I…" My eyes slowly moved over to the side and saw someone standing in the doorway of her room. The figure was very familiar to my eyes. "Blake… What are you doing here?"

"How… How could you do this?!"

"Blake, please. It's not what you…" She suddenly stormed off with tears in her eyes. It was exactly like that time Pyrrha tried to kiss me in my office. However, there was no way I could talk myself out of this one. I was in a vulnerable situation with Yang in the exact same situation as me. I immediately threw Yang off my body and got dressed as fast as possible.

"Alex, please don't go." I turned around and looked at Yang.

"I have to go." After that, that night ended quite abruptly. I went looking for Blake. There wasn't many places she could have went off to so I went back home with high hopes of finding her there. Unfortunately, I was disappointed with what I ended up finding.

End of Chapter 27


	28. Chapter 28

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 28

The Things I Loved

_Mom,_

_I don't know what I just witnessed, but I do know that we need our space. I'm not going to judge you on who you love or what you want in a person, but I will say this. Yang was my first love and if you're planning on being with her, I just hope that she doesn't make you sad like the way she did with me. As for me, don't worry. I'll be fine. I'll be spending some time with my friend so just take this time to get things fixed and everything. I guess that's all I can say for now. Bye._

_-Blake_

That was the end of the message. I put my phone back in my pocket and ran up to her room. I barged through the door and saw that the room was dark and emptier than usual. I went through her things and saw that a lot of her belongings were gone. I didn't know how she escaped so quickly, but it felt so different. I collapsed onto my knees as tears started to roll down my face.

"Blake, I'm so sorry. I didn't ask for this. I didn't want this." I tried wiping away my tears as I got back up on my feet. I looked on her dresser and saw a picture of the two of us when we were younger. Blake was probably in elementary school. She was so cute. I wanted to see her again and explain myself. I took out my phone again and dialed her number.

"Hi…"

"Blake, I…"

"This is Blake. I'm busy right now so if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible." I sighed with sadness in my heart.

"H-Hi Blake, it's me. I, um… I really wanna talk to you. I can't explain to you what you saw, but I do know that I'm really sorry if that caused you to feel any hate towards me. I didn't ask for this to happen; I didn't even want this to happen. You know that you're the only one in this world that I care about. Nothing can ever change that. I, uh… I guess that's all I have to say. If you're there, I just want you to know that I love you and I hope you're safe with whoever. I'll leave the door open for you whenever you come back home. I'll be patiently waiting." I waited a few more seconds for her to pick up, but it remained silent. I hung the phone and looked at the ground. "I'm such a horrible person." I left her room and headed downstairs. Being in the house was just too much for me right now so decided to go on a little walk hoping that it would help me clear my mind. I reached for the front door and opened it up to be intercepted by someone standing in the door way.

"Oh, hey Alex." I got off their chest and saw that it was Cinder. "Yang told me about you guys having another date so I just wanted to wish you good luck and…" I collapsed into her chest and started to cry.

"Aaaahhhhhh!"

"Alex, what's wrong?"

"It's my daughter. She left me!" At that moment, she put her hands on my shoulders and walked me back inside where we sat on the couch.

"Hey, try to calm down. How did this happen?" It was hard to listen to her. The tears were escaping my eyes at an uncontrollable rate. I tried wiping them away, but they kept on coming out. It was pretty much a rain storm with no end in sight. As I continued to cry, there wasn't much that Cinder could do except hug me and try to comfort me. "Yeah, if you don't want to talk just yet. It's fine. Take your time. There's no need to rush this." That's when I felt a little more at ease. I cried for a few more minutes until the tears started to dry up. "Better now?" I nodded my head.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Haha, don't worry about it. We're friends. That's what we're here for." I smiled as I wiped away the last tear in my eyes. "So, what happened?" I took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes and told her the whole story.

It pained me to talk about it like that, but there was nothing else I could do. I crossed the line and now, I'm paying the price by having my daughter being taken away from me. If anything, that was the worst thing that could possible happen to me. She was my life and having her hate me for a certain reason was pretty much like living in hell. My words weren't reaching her no matter how much I wanted them to. I continued to pour out my heart and soul into the story I was telling Cinder which didn't even give her any moment to try and stick in a few little comments. I felt so easy talking to this woman. It was probably because we've gone through a lot at the bar that I don't really want to remember. Once I finished my story, the tears slowly started to stop and I slowly started to calm down.

"What should I do?" It took her a while to give me an answer, but when she did, I felt so relieved.

"Well, I know this may seem a little lame, but I think you should just be patient. Giving your daughter the time she needs to think about this is important. Don't you think?" She lifted my head and I looked right at her.

"So is that all of the advice you could give me?"

"Haha, of course not. I would say that… Make sure she knows that you love her. Tell her as much as you can while keeping your distance. As long as she knows your trying, I'm sure she'll come back to you." Out of nowhere, another tear fell from my eye. I wiped it away quickly.

"I know this may be a little selfish of me, but… Could I stay at your place for a few days? Being here by myself kind of worsens the pain."

"Of course. You want me to help you pack or?"

"No… It's okay. I can handle that." I stood up and headed off to my room. I grabbed a small amount of things that I needed to live away from home for a while and left the house. I didn't look back. I didn't even think about it. I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

When we made it back to Cinder's place, I was kind of surprised. She lived in a small condo in a pretty lively neighborhood. When we stepped inside, the place was kind of cluttered. There was a small couch in the middle of the room with a small TV against the wall. The kitchen was probably the nicest part of the place so far. She took through the place to show me a bathroom and one bedroom. That's when I got a little confused.

"Hey Cinder, I'm not trying to sound ungrateful, but… Where am I going to sleep?"

"You can sleep on my bed." I was speechless at her words.

"Um, are you sure?"

"Of course. You're my guest. I'm not making you sleep on the floor or the couch."

"Aw, well thank you." She smiled and started and clean up the condo. She was really quick in picking up all the things she had on the floor. Once she was done, I unpacked my things awkwardly and got ready for bed. As I did, Cinder relaxed on her couch. When I finished, I walked out of the bathroom and peeked my head into the living room. "Cinder, I just wanna say thank you once again for doing this for me."

"Don't worry about it. We friends have got to be there for each other." I smiled and headed off to bed. I closed the door behind me and crashed on top of her bed. I was immediately soothed by the softness of her bed. I didn't know a bed could feel this good, but then again, I was so used to sleeping on my bed. The clock in the room ticked endlessly. My mind was racing and I couldn't concentrate. Without trying any harder, I grabbed my phone and called Blake one last time.

"This is Blake. I'm busy right now so if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

"Um, hi Blake. It's me. I just wanted to say good night and I hope you're doing well. I love you… so much." There was so much more that I wanted to say, but then I remembered what Cinder said to me. I had to give her her space. I said what I needed to say and that was enough for one day. I hung up and turned over onto my back.

Why is this happening to me?

Wait… I've asked this question to myself before. "Why is this happening?"

Why _is _this happening to me?

End of Chapter 28


	29. Chapter 29

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 29

When Friends are Needed Most

The next morning was pretty rough for me. Somehow, I managed to sling my eyes open and grab my phone off the desk next to the bed. I opened it up in hopes that Blake would have left me something, but it was blank. It was as blank as an adult's phone could be. I sighed and crashed back down on the bed throwing my arm over my eyes. I know this separation is for the best, but I just want to know that she's alright. That's all I care about right now. Having this sense of mystery in my heart was almost too much to bear. After a few minutes of drowning in my own arm, I climbed out of bed and got ready.

As I walked out of the bathroom drying my hair, Cinder gave me a friendly good morning as she was preparing some breakfast. The lovely smell filled the room. Breakfast was definitely the most important meal of the day. I grabbed a chair at the table and waited patiently. However, I couldn't help but blurt out something that was on my mind ever since I collapsed onto her bed.

"Sorry about making you sleep on the couch. I know this was all random and all, but…"

"Oh my goodness Alex, don't worry about it. I don't mind at all. It's been so long since I've had visitors. Unfortunately, my place isn't the best for hosting." She let a friendly chuckle which gave me the go ahead to laugh along with her.

"So what are you making?"

"Eh, nothing too special." She grabbed numerous pots and walked them over to the table. There were already plates set up so she dumped the food on the plate and sat down. "Bon apatite." I looked down and saw a huge pancake with strawberries and blueberries on the top.

"Wow, this looks incredible."

"Haha, thanks. I wouldn't judge it based on the looks though. I've always been good at presentation, but the quality… Eh, not so much." I couldn't say no to this so I grabbed my fork and dug in. I took the first bite and immediately tasted something strange. However, it wasn't something worth being disgusted by. I chewed a little more and swallowed. "So, how is it?" It was too difficult to answer. I grabbed another bite and went through the same process. Aside from the beginning taste, it wasn't that bad.

"Good job. I don't know your other meals have tasted, but I don't really taste anything wrong with it.

"Really? Awesome." She grabbed her fork and dug in as well. After a few minutes of silent eating, Cinder started up another conversation. "So are you doing anything today?"

"I don't think so. Why?"

"Eh, you've kind of gone through some things so I thought I could cheer you up by doing something fun."

"I don't know."

"Oh come on. You can't just lie around here and dwell on what's already in the past. You just have to accept the reality of things and take them head on next time. What do you say? You wanna go have some fun?" I looked up and she looked so happy. Her smile was huge and her hand was so inviting. However, it still didn't feel right leaving this whole situation to rest like that. There were things I needed to think about, but thinking about them only made me feel worse than I actually was.

"I guess I can go out."

"Alright." At that moment, she took my hand and dragged me out the door.

"Jeez, you seem excited. Where are we going?"

"Don't worry about that. Just try to relax and enjoy yourself."

We got into town and immediately went to the shopping district. I was kind of caught off guard because Cinder didn't seem like the kind of woman who enjoyed this kind of thing, but in the end, it wasn't even for her. Every place we went to was for me. She had me try on everything she saw and somehow convinced me to buy the things that looked great on me. If this was her plan, it was kind of working. I did find some pretty nice outfits that I normally wouldn't buy on my own. After that, she took me to her favorite restaurant where she knew the cook personally. She asked for some kind of special which I knew nothing about. When it was brought out to me, I thought it was a joke. It was a burger that looked more like a steak it was so big.

"How the hell am I supposed to eat this? As you can see, I'm not much of a big eater."

"Haha, we'll share it. I just want you to get the first bite so you can experience the magnificence of this burger." I gulped as I looked down. There was no way around it. This was a real man's food and she was forcing me to eat. I slowly grabbed the knife and cut a small piece for myself. With the piece on my fork, I slipped it into my mouth and started to chew. "Well… How is it?" Out of nowhere, a blast of incredible taste hit my mouth. It was almost as if I was slapped in the face.

"Holy whoa! This is incredible!"

"I told you." Showing no hesitation at all, Cinder grabbed her utensils and dug in with me. We had pieces of meat on our forks and ate them at the same time.

"Ooooo! It's so good," we said simultaneously. I wasn't a big fan of burgers, but this one just blew my mind. There was something special about the entire thing, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. It took us a while to finish that beast, but when we did, we felt like kings.

"Oh man, how about that?"

"Jesus, how often do you eat here?"

"Don't ask. How do you feel?"

"Well, aside from the obvious, really well."

"Really? That's what I like to hear." She suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me away yet again.

"Shouldn't we pay though?"

"Haha, I have a tab there. I'll pay it off eventually."

"Seriously?!" She didn't pay attention to my last comment. She just continued to pull me along without a care in the world. I, too, tried to copy her mentality. She was doing all of this for me so the least I could do was play along until it was over. Our next destination was a bowling and unfortunately, I've never bowled so this was definitely going to be a challenge. She got us our shoes and guided me over to our lane.

"Alright, you ready for this? I expect big things from you."

"Um Cinder, is it bad that I've never bowled in my life?" I looked up at her and it looked as though as she was stabbed in back.

"You're… kidding me right?" I shook my head with so much guilt in my face. "How have you never bowled before?"

"I don't know. I just never had the motivation to." She bent over in pure disappointment. "I'm sorry."

"No, I can't accept this. I am going to teach you how to bowl and you are going to put up a competition against the champ," she said as she crossed her arms. At first, I wasn't sure if she was joking or not, but as I looked around the room, I saw her picture on the walls with a whole bunch of trophies. That's when I nearly died. How was I supposed to stand up against her at a sport I've never played? "Let's get started." She pulled me off the chair and had me line up in front of the lane.

"Alright, what do you we do?" She walked up behind me and placed the ball in my hands.

"Alright, first thing you have to do is put you middle finger, ring middle, and thumb inside of the holes." I followed her instructions to the letter. "So once you get your fingers in, it's pretty simple. For this run, try not to let go of the ball. Now, you take a few steps until you get to that line. When that happens, you bring your arm back like this. This serves as the charge up. Once you make it to the line, you throw it forward while keeping your forearm straight. Also, try to release it close to the ground. Think you got it?"

"Um, could you help me out with this first one?"

"Sure." She let go of my hand and we walked back to the start. We then resumed our positions and went through the motions slowly. When I let go of the ball, it rolled pretty straight and collided with the pins giving me a strike. "Woo! That's good right?"

"Very good, especially for your first one ever."

"Haha thanks."

"Alright, if you don't mind. I'll be taking the floor now." I stepped aside and watched her get ready for her first shoot. She wiped the ball with a towel and picked up it off the rack. "Watch and learn rookie." She did the routine and threw the ball extremely fast. However, when it got to the end of the lane, it only hit the outside pin. I couldn't help but let out a little chuckle. She suddenly looked at me and gave me a death glare.

"I'm not laughing."

"Whatever. You used my first shot. No matter what, my first shot is always a strike."

"Uh huh, sure." She squinted her eyes as her ball returned to the rack. She picked it up again and threw it to get a spare. "Oh jeez, this is a bad start." I turned my head and smiled.

I don't think this is going as well as she first thought.

End of Chapter 29


	30. Chapter 30

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 30

Getting Back to Work

**Note: **So who knew I would have made this story into a 30 chapter story. Just letting you guys know that this story is approaching its end. However, there are things that still need to happen before then so I hope you enjoy this update and the rest that are to come. Thank you so much for reading.

A few more days have gone by and things were going okay. Unfortunately, that was best word that I could use: Okay. Cinder was a wonderful host. She allowed me to continue sleeping in her bed. Of course, I wasn't particularly comfortable with this so some nights, I went into the living room to check on her and noticed that she looked perfectly fine. This put my mind at ease a little. If I were to make her suffer on that couch, I couldn't keep living there.

Aside from that, my phone's been pretty busy. However, it was only busy on one end of it. It was my end. I called Blake every day to say good morning and good night. At this point, I knew that was all she needed to hear and that was all I needed to say.

Living with Cinder, I learned that she was bartender. I thought she just really liked bars. Surprisingly, she didn't seem like an alcoholic. Whenever she came home from work, she still had on her perfume and I know that she leaves her perfume at home. As for me, I was waiting until the summer staff meetings to start. I wasn't too excited about it, but it would finally get me off my butt since sitting around at home was a little too boring for me.

Finally, I received word of the first summer meeting so I prepared myself as best I could and showed up with the same bit of optimism as I always do. Before I went to school, I decided to visit the house just to see. I knew Blake wouldn't be there, but just having that resolve would make me feel better. I walked inside and it was quiet and cold… Exactly how I imagined it being. I walked up to Blake's room and it was exactly the same as that night from before. Just visiting her room was enough for me. I shut the door behind me and headed to school.

When I arrived at the school office, we all filed into the staff room and sat down for the lovely conference meeting between the staff members. Since I was the school nurse, there wasn't much that I had to do.

"So our overall grades have been great, but the state is starting to increase the competition so we need to make our classes harder."

"So I'm guessing we're going to be doing a lot more collaborations like this one."

"Yes. We need to coordinate with each other so we're not falling behind." Everyone nodded their heads. "But we'll discuss more about that at our next meeting. Let's see… We've already went over curriculum. Dress code, behavior, clubs… I think that's it. Does anybody have any questions?"

"Well, it looked like there's nothing for me again," I said to myself.

"Oh wait, before I forget. There is something that I need to address before this gets out of hand." The principal cleared her throat as if she was making the presidential address. "Relationships between teachers and students are strictly forbidden." At that moment, I gulped. She wasn't looking at me, but I could feel that that comment was only directed at me. I don't talk to the other teachers a lot, but I doubt they would do something like that. "Now I think that is it. I'll see you all next week for another meeting." I got from my chair and headed towards the door when one of the teachers I knew most stopped me before I could.

"Hey Alex, that was a weird last comment, right?" How did I know this was going to happen?

"Yeah, it was." I said that so nervously that I was afraid he might have seen through me.

"Alright, well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay bye." He walked out first and tried to follow behind him, but I was stopped by the principal's voice.

"Alex, can I talk to you in private?" I turned around and saw her head into her office. I took a deep breath and followed not far behind her. When I got in her room, I immediately felt the tense atmosphere that she was giving off. "Go ahead and sit down." I gently sat down in the chair in front of her desk and awaited this talk. "Do you know why I called you in here?"

"No," I said nervously.

"A couple of weeks ago, I received word from one of my advisors saying that you left one of the student's home late at night. Would you care to explain?" My worst fears were realized. I didn't think anyone knew about it, but apparently, that wasn't true. I had to think quickly, but I didn't know what to say. There wasn't anything I could say. Whatever that person saw was the complete truth. I had to come clean.

"I…"

"You know that that comment from the meeting was about you right?" I shut my eyes and dropped my head.

"Yes… I do."

"Regardless of the true nature of that situation, we can't have our students engage in those things. With you being the school nurse, it makes our job a lot tougher so, this is the only thing we can." Even though I didn't want to hear it, I kind of had a feeling I knew what she was going to say. "This is the last year we're asking you to come back. The staff and the school board decided that this was the only thing we could do. The child hasn't gone to the authorities so we know that it's not something serious. However, we can't leave this alone. I hope you understand. We care for our students and we want them to have a bright future."

"I understand."

"Also, you don't have to worry about coming to the upcoming meeting. We'll be bringing the new nurse up to speed on how we do things. I'm sorry." She stood up and left the room. Meanwhile, I was still sitting on the chair looking at the ground. That was it. There goes the end of my career. Now how was I supposed to face Blake? Her senior year was coming up and that means that she'd be leaving for college soon. Things just coming up my way. I slowly rose from her chair and headed back to Cinder's place.

The day was still pretty young. It was about 3pm so I wasn't expecting Cinder to be back home since bar work usually goes until late. I opened up the door and looked around. It was empty. I closed the door behind me and stood in the middle of the room. At that moment, I just lost it. I collapsed onto my knees and let out all of the pent up emotion from all of this time. I pressed my hands against my head and let the tears fall like rain. However, just as that started, Cinder came busting out of her room in panic.

"Oh my God, what's wrong?" I couldn't respond. I just continued to drown in my tears as I knelt down in the middle of the room. It didn't take long for Cinder to come to my side and wrap her arms around me. "Hey, hey, it's alright. Calm down. Sshhh." Her voice was so soothing, but I just couldn't calm down. Everything horrible in my life was coming back to haunt me and drag me down to hell. It was impossible for me to calm down so my cries got louder and my tears got heavier.

I don't know how much time went by, but for me, it felt like an eternity. After crying so much, I managed to calm myself down to where I just made soft whimpers. However, the pain was still there. Cinder didn't ask any other questions since she knew that I was unresponsive. She just remained by my side and kept me close.

"It's alright. I'm here. Just breathe." I took slow, deep breaths and things quickly felt better. "See? It's not that bad when you concentrate."

"Haha, yeah." Those were the first I managed to speak in a while.

"You okay now?"

"I… I think so."

"If you're not ready, I won't ask." Right as I was about to speak, there was a knock on the door. "Hold on just a second." She stood up and walked towards the front door. When she opened it up, I immediately heard Yang's voice.

"Hey Cinder, I was wondering if you heard anything from Alex. I'm kind of worried about her." Things just weren't going my way having Yang show up now of all times.

"Really? She hasn't let me know about anything, but I'll be sure to let you know if I hear anything."

"Alright. Is it alright if I come in?"

"Sorry. I'm kind of doing some home redecorations and I don't want anyone seeing the planning process."

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll see you later then."

"Yeah. Bye." She closed the door and walked back to me. As she did, I had a face of amazement on. Did she really just save me from a dire situation?

"Why did you do that?"

"What? That? I thought you needed some alone time. Did you want to see her?" I immediately shook my head and waved my hands at her.

"Oh no. It's alright. I just… Thank you. I know I'm causing you a lot of trouble, but that's all I can do. I'm such a horrible person." She grabbed me and pulled her into her body.

"No you're not. This world is a tough place. I don't blame you for anything that's been going on. If you're not having problems, then I'd be worried about you."

"You know… I'm thankful for meeting you at that bar on that day. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

"Don't worry about it. I don't mind at all."

You don't mind at all? Why is that?

After some more time, I was finally able to return to my normal self. I was a complete mess so I went in the shower and tried to relax underneath the hot water. Unfortunately, it didn't work. My mind continued to think about what I've lost and where everything will end up once the pieces are in place. This caused my shower to longer than usual, but when I finished, Cinder had a smile on her face as if she didn't even notice it.

By now, it was already late. I waited in Cinder's room while she took a shower. I wanted all of this to just stop. I wanted to go back home and be with Blake. Unfortunately, I was just a fool at heart. That wouldn't be able to happen. As I continued to think to myself, Cinder exited the bathroom and made her way to the couch. I followed her out and I never actually realized it, but it was one of those couches that turned into beds. That was pretty cool. However, that wasn't the reason why I followed her.

"Hey Cinder, don't take this the wrong way, but would you mind sleeping with me tonight?" At first, she had a weird look on her face. "I don't know if I'm ready to handle this on my own." Still, Cinder had a strange look on her face. "I'm sorry. I was being weird. Just ignore that comment."

"No, no, it's fine. If you don't mind, sure." She grabbed her pillow and headed into her room. Without wasting any time, she jumped onto bed and pulled the blankets for me to crawl under.

"Thank you for doing this."

"Stop with the thank you this, thank you that. It's only making you feel worse. Just say: I'm over it and tomorrow will be a new day. How does that sound?"

"Alright."

"Good." She turned off the lights and turned around. "Good night."

"Good night."

End of Chapter 30


	31. Chapter 31

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 31

My Happy Place

**Note: **The end is just around the corner so I hope you enjoy where the rest of this story takes you.

That night was such a strange night. I was both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. None of it had to do with Cinder being there with me. It was just that circumstances of the previous and me realizing that something bad occurred. However, I couldn't take it to heart. Cinder said that it was best to get over and think about what was to come so I shaped up and threw everything away in hopes that tomorrow would be a good day.

…

The next day came around and I had a slow start. Usually, I am a pretty good morning person, but it just didn't happen. When my body woke up, my eyes were still saying to keep them shut and ignore the outside world. After a while, my body finally was awake and kicked the rest of me off the bed. When I got on my feet, there was a note on the desk. It was from Cinder.

_Hey Alex, I hope you feel better and I hope you have good day today. If something still doesn't feel right, come on down to the bar and I'll try my best to make your day cheerful. Just don't do anything stupid. ~Cinder_

I couldn't help but laugh at her note. She made it sound like I was depressed and about to commit suicide. It was not _that _bad. I just felt like I did a lot of things wrong that were unforgivable. Other than that, nothing was really wrong with me. Once I finished the note, I got ready and immediately ran out of things to do. Cleaning always helped me clear my mind, but from the looks of things, nothing in her condo needed cleaning. Cinder was a very responsible woman… And also, it wouldn't be right to go through her things just to clean the place so I settled in the kitchen.

At the start, it was hard to find what to make since everything came back to Blake. I always made things for her. I wanted her to be happy so my wants were never really known to her. Now, I was starting to see how much she really meant to me. She completed me, but that life seemed like it would be impossible to return to.

Morning quickly turned to day and I still had nothing to do. I was now stuck on the couch watching daytime television and let me say that it is awful. I didn't know there was something as bad as daytime television. It literally got to the point where I thought I was going to do something bad to myself. I grabbed my things and headed to the bar. However, right as I opened up the door, I ran into someone and got knocked onto my butt. When I looked up, I was completely in shock of who was also on their butt.

"Hey mom." It was Blake.

"Blake? W-What are you doing here?"

"Well, I went home hoping you would be there, but you weren't. So I had to ask around and then I remembered you spent some time at a Good Time's Bar. So I asked them if they knew anything and this one lady said that she was housing you. I came over here as fast as I could and…" There was a sudden stop in her voice.

"Blake?" Out of nowhere, she leapt into my arms and squeezed me with all of her strengths.

"I'm sorry. I've missed you… so much!" I was totally surprised by this behavior. I thought that when I saw her after so long, she'd slap me or something. But this was completely different than anything I could have imagined.

"Blake?" I closed my eyes and squeezed her back. "I missed you too."

"I'm sorry. For everything I've done and everything I will do in my life, I'm sorry." It was just too hard to reply to her. I was simply enjoying the moment. The moment I would be reunited with my daughter on such good terms.

We spent a good amount of time on the ground in each other's arms. Once we got a hold of ourselves, I invited her inside and we took our seats on the couch. Obviously, we had things to talk about, but only this time, I wasn't going to lie to her. I've already accumulated quite a list of lies towards her. This was where it finally stopped.

"Blake, I understand if you think badly about me right now. You have every right to. I just… I want to make things right with you." There was no response. I had no idea how well this was going. "For some time now, I've lied to you and only now am I feeling bad about it. I was being irresponsible and I want to apologize for it." This was definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to say. "I went on a couple of dates with Yang. Please don't hate me." I looked at her with such guilt and she was staring at the floor.

"I… I just want to know why. Why did you do that?" Tears were already starting to fall from her eyes. I could feel a knife pressing against my chest.

"I… I was vulnerable. I have no excuse for it. I can't explain it to you. I felt like my heart needed to be filled and Yang kept on telling me that she could be the one. I know it's bad and in no way am I right."

"But…" But? Where was she trying to take this? "You were being selfish." That comment was so strange to hear. I honestly didn't know how to react to it. "You've always thought about me and nothing else. Even when I first started dating Yang, you said it was fine as long as we loved each other. All of this time, you've been alone with no one in your life. I can't be mad at you for trying to fill that part of your life."

"Blake, I…"

"When was the last time you've seen her?"

"Yang?" She nodded her head. "I don't know. Ever since you left me that one day. I haven't thought about her and anything relating to her. That I can promise you. I've only been able to think of you and how I can make things up to you. As of right now, I don't think I'm doing such a good job though."

"I need to ask you one very important question and don't you dare lie to me."

"I promise. Ask me anything. I prepared to answer it."

"D-Do you love her?" Even though I didn't want to hear her ask that of me, I knew it was coming. The thing that has been conflicting me all of this time. Do I truly love Yang? I took a few seconds to think about it since I wanted to answer it as honestly as I could.

"I don't know. Part of me believes what you're saying about me and how I want to fill that hole in my heart, but there is also that something that says Yang might be the one. I don't know why this is."

"If you can't tell me the dominating side right now… I don't know if I could ever call you my mom again. I want you to be happy, but I don't this is the way to do it." She was right. Nothing about this was right. Even if Yang was no longer a major, she was just 18. I was approaching my forties. That was just too much of a gap to allow for a peaceful mind. I took a deep breath and let the thoughts flow freely until I was able to reach a consensus.

"I love you more than anything else in this world. I don't need my own happiness. As long as you're happy, that's all I need." I got on my knees and pressed my head against the floor. "Blake, I'm so sorry for my disgraceful behavior. If you'll allow it, I'd be honored to be your mother once again. Only this time, I'll do it right. I promise." It felt like a waited an eternity, but after a while, Blake lifted my chin and made me look at her.

"If you can keep those words in your heart, I'll trust you." At that moment, I literally lost my composure. The tears started to fall like a waterfall as I collapsed into Blake's body.

"I'm so sorry Blake. I'm a horrible mother!"

"No you're not. I couldn't have asked for a better mother." Even though it was such a nice comment, it just made me hurt even more. I've done so much to hurt so she has no right to say that to me. She just wanted to ease the pain I've been feeling all of this time.

"Thank you… I don't deserve a daughter like you." We held each other as tight as we could. However, there was one thing that was bothering. "I know this might kill the moment, but what were you even doing at Yang's house that night." She suddenly let go and looked at the ground.

"I was hoping that I could make up with her, but obviously, that's impossible now."

"Hey Alex, I'm home-oh my! I came at a bad time. I'm sorry. I'll give you guys some space." Cinder busted through the door with such grandeur that I couldn't help but take notice of it.

"It's okay. We've had our moment for long enough. It's your place anyway so don't think that we're in your way."

"Are you sure? This kind of looks important." As I was trying to gesture her into her condo, Blake stood up and walked towards Cinder and stuck out her hand.

"Hi, I'm Blake. We didn't really introduce each other earlier, but I cannot thank you enough for housing my mom in this situation. It means so much."

"Oh, haha, don't worry about it. It was nothing. Your mother is a wonderful woman. She was a joy to have… Wait, does that mean you're heading back home?" Blake looked back at me and nodded her with a lot of force.

"Heh, I guess I am."

"Aw, and I was going to prepare something special for you."

"You still can. Blake, would you mind having dinner here?"

"Let's do it."

I took a sigh of relief. At that moment, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I got my Blake back and she was so approving of my one friend in this city. We quickly cleaned ourselves up and helped Cinder with the special dinner. We had such a great time and wanted it to last forever. Once the night grew late, I packed my things and headed out the door. Before I left, Cinder gave me one last hug and whispered something in my ear.

"Be happy. You're better that way."

End of Chapter 31


	32. Chapter 32

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 32

Senior Year Starts

**Note: **I just wanted to let you guys know that this is the penultimate chapter. I know it may seem like there's still a lot left to get to, but I don't think that they need to be emphasized in their own chapter. The next chapter will be the last, but it will also be the longest. Everything you want/need to know will be in that one so I hope I answer all of your questions and I hope you all enjoy the rest of this story. Once again, thank you so much for reading.

Be happy. You're better that way.

For some reason, those words stuck in my head. I couldn't be more thankful for Cinder's hospitality, but for her to say something like that was unlike her. She wasn't much of a wordy person so it definitely took me by surprise. Once Blake and I got home, we quickly settled in and got ourselves familiar with everything. It may not seem like a long time, but a week away from home was just too much for us. This separation we went through really messed with our heads, but in the end, it set us straight. We both know what we need to do. The days quickly went by until the start of the first day of school. Unfortunately, I was unable to tell Blake about me being fired. I was going to tell her. I just needed to find the right time.

We woke up right on time and headed off like we always did, but for some reason, this time felt a little more special than other times. It was probably because of our sense of renewal and understanding. That had to have been it. When we got to school, we went our separate ways. My destination was obviously my room, but when I got there, I was surprised to learn what the staff had been planning during the summer.

"Oh hi, you must be Alex." The strange lady walked up to me with her hand sticking out towards me.

"I am. May I ask who you are?"

"Sorry. My name is Glynda and I'll be starting here next year. They said that I would take the afternoon sessions since there's more to do, but they also said to watch you and ask anything that needs to be asked." The reminder of me being fired was already present. I dropped my things on my desk and went through everything as the first bell of the day rang for everyone to get to class.

I told her where everything was and what she should do if something else comes up that she can't solve. I also told her the case of some of the students that tend to come in if they're tired or need something to keep them going through the day. However, I told her that that was a secret and she actually decided to keep it between us. I was thankful for that. Aside from those things, my job was pretty easy that day. When the lunch bell rang, Blake came to my room and I tried my best to stay happy. She took notice of the new lady, but didn't comment about her. Although I didn't want it to happen, it was a little surprising that I haven't run into Yang yet. Not seeing ever since that night must have made things a little awkward between us. However, I was ready to face the reality of the situation.

Once lunch finished up, Blake and I said our goodbyes as we separated once again. At this point, I was forced to leave since some of the staff came barging through the door with numerous questions. Luckily, Glynda was nice to say that I did everything I should have and that there were no problems. It was just depressing that they made it obvious as to wanting me to leave the room.

"Alright, well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah. Oh yeah, today was a one-time thing. I'll come in after lunch so it won't be a bother."

"Okay," I said as I waved my hand. After that, I was clueless. I had to wait another two hours until school ended.

I made it outside and looked around for a nice place to sit down for a while. Luckily, there was a spot underneath the cherry blossoms trees and I was even luckier to have them still in bloom. I sat down on the bench and enjoyed the scenery as best as I could. I didn't spend a lot of time out on campus so seeing so many new things really brightened up my day. Time went by and I didn't notice a thing. All I could think about was how beautiful this school was.

"Alex." I suddenly widened my eyes. "What are you doing out here?" I turned around to see a familiar face. It was Yang.

"Yang, hello. How are you today?"

"I asked you first. What are you doing out here?"

"Haha, I guess it is kind of weird to see me out here, isn't it?"

"Why do sound funny? Are you okay?" She knelt down in front of me and grabbed my hands. Unfortunately, I couldn't let this go on. I brushed away her hands and turned my body.

"Of course I'm fine. I just wanted to enjoy the scenery until things ended."

"Ended? What are you talking about?" I closed my eyes and smiled. No matter who I was talking to, the news of me being fired was difficult to talk about.

"This is my last year here." I paused and waited for a response, but there was none. "I was found in an interesting situation and because of it, I'm no longer allowed to be the nurse of this school. That's what I mean. I hope that answers your question."

"You have got to be kidding me? They're firing you for that?!"

"Yang, you just don't understand."

"No, they don't understand. Why would they fire you? You're amazing. You help these students so much. You brighten up their days. Why would they get rid of someone like that?" I shook my head and stood up. I had to set things straight here and now or else there was no way I could keep living with Blake and have an honest heart.

"They saw me leave your house late at night. You remember that, don't you?!" At that moment, Yang's eyes shot wide open and her body tensed up as if she was being trapped in a corner. "The things you did to me, the things that caused me to leave in such a rush… That's why I was fired. I had inappropriate relations with one of my students and in my profession, that's looked down upon. I'm lucky that I'm only getting fired. Don't you get it?!" I didn't even realize that my voice was stern and my body was upright. On the other hand, Yang was almost like a tiny child who had lost their parents. I didn't mean for this to go that far, but she had to hear it.

"Alex, I…" She tried reaching for my face, but I slapped her hand out of the air.

"We can't keep doing this Yang. I know we made that promise, but I just can't. You brought too much pain to my life that I can barely stand. I know you mean well, but…" The school bell rang and the front doors swung open, unleashing all of the students back into the real world. "I have to go." I walked towards the gate and didn't look back. There also no struggle to bring me back so I kept on walking.

Once I made it to the gate, I saw Blake running right for me. I smiled as she wrapped her arm around mine and the two of us walked home. As good as it felt finally clearing the air about that whole situation, I couldn't help but feel this uneasy feeling in the air. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that it would reveal itself to me sooner or later.

End of Chapter 32


	33. Chapter 33

My Yearning Heart

Chapter 33

Where Life Takes Me

Attending work at school was kind of worthless. Nothing really happened in the morning so it gave me time to think about what I needed to take with me after the year was over. I did have some pictures hanging on my wall when I was at a school event that needed a nurse. All the pictures were with other students. We all had smiles on our faces and looking back, it really made me happy.

It didn't take long before the visitors started to slowly increase in the mornings. With me not being there in the afternoon raised concern for my usual students. They barged into my room and hugged me as soon as they saw me.

"Ms. Belladonna, you can't leave us."

"Yeah, we love you too much."

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do. There are more things for me in this life so I'm going to answer that calling." At first, I thought it seemed like a good choice of words, but it just made them cry. When they did, I couldn't hold the tears either. I wrapped my arms around them and let a few tears run down my face. It was true. I was leaving this place.

With me soon out of a job, I quickly went on a job search. Apparently, the times have changed because job hunting was extremely difficult for me. Back then was I searching for one, all I had to do was show them my resume, talk about my degree, and boom, the job was mine. Now, there's such a long process that I can barely explain. They asked about my college and what it was like. Then they asked me about my age and previous experience. There were other stuff, but I just don't remember. I went to other schools, hospitals, and small clinics in hopes of finding the perfect job for me. All I could do was wait for some news back.

As for Blake, things were going well for her. Unfortunately, she wasn't spending a lot of time at home, but it was for a good reason. She managed to find a boy she really liked. It took me a while to meet him, but when I did, I immediately approved. His name was Sun Wukong. He was very sweet and I could tell that he really cared about Blake. He didn't go to her school, but when she was out with her friends one day, she met him and things just took off from there.

Personally, I couldn't be happier for her. With things approaching the halfway point in the year, the two of them planned to go to Winter Formal. The way he asked her was so sweet. He took Blake and me to dinner and asked the waiting staff to help him out. They came over with trays that had the letters of "formal" on the bottom of it. I guess I'm just a sucker for cute things, but I was impressed with his creativity.

During my free time, I got to spend time with Cinder. It was really nice being with her again. She asked about how life was going and I was able to say things were going well. It felt good. My relationship with Blake was rekindled and it made things so much better. As for Cinder, things were a little bad for her. She told me that without me being there, things were so boring. I couldn't help but feel guilty about this. If I wouldn't have gone to her place in the first place, she wouldn't be feeling this way. But then again, she was now my best friend. I had to care nonetheless.

"So what are we going to do during the winter break?" I still haven't told her the news of my occupation.

"Um, Blake, I think we should sit down for this."

"Why? What's wrong?" I guided her to the couch and sat down right beside her.

"I know it's you're senior year and I promised you that we would do something special for winter break. Unfortunately, something came up." As Blake was looking at me, her face slowly started to change.

"What are you talking about?" I grabbed her hands and took a deep breath.

"I was fired." Blake's jaw slowly dropped. "They're giving me the year to finish up and then I'm done. I'm sorry I kept this from you. It's just that I didn't want you to worry about me."

"How can I not worry? You lost your job. Do you know where you're going to work after all of this is over?"

"Not yet. That's what I was going to do during the winter. I was going to do one last spurt to try and find a job. This is what makes me sad. I can't keep my promise to you. However, I don't want you to stay here all alone." Right on cue, there was a knock from the front door. I gestured Blake to go answer the door. When she opened it up, she was immediately intercepted by Sun.

"Oh hi, what are you doing here?" I came up behind her and interrupted their conversation.

"I talked with Sun and his family and it just so happens that they're going on a cruise. It took some negotiations, but they said they'd be happy to have you. This is the promise I can give to you. Go with him and have a good time." Blake turned around, but she didn't have the face I was expecting. She almost looked sad.

"But what about you?"

"Like I said, I'll be looking for a job."

"But the winter is for relaxing."

"Blake, it's not like I'm going to be doing job hunting all day, every day. I'm just going to use that time to find something since most people leave during that time." Blake bowed her head.

"I guess you're right." I held her chin and brought it back up.

"So what's your answer?" I turned her around and made her face Sun.

"Sure. I'll go with you."

"Really? Sweet. Thank you Ms. Belladonna."

"No, thank you Sun."

"Hey, well, I have to go, but I'll call you later. Are you okay with that?" Blake nodded her head. At that moment, Sun leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Okay, bye." We waved goodbye as he ran out of the gate and back to his house. I closed the door, but Blake was still looking at me funny.

"Are you purposely trying to get rid of me?"

"Of course not. I just want you to go to college and have something to talk about." We walked back into the living room, but before we were able to sit down, Blake grabbed me by the hand which caused me to look at her once again.

"If I'm going to spend time with Sun, you have to spend time with Cinder." I immediately retreated from that conversation.

"What? Where is this coming from?"

"Oh, come on. Don't give me that. She's like your only friend now. The least you could do is see her when you're not busy."

"Wow, thanks. That totally boosts my confidence."

"Hey, you know it's true." I sighed out loud and patted her on the head.

"Fine. When I'm not busy, I will try to spend some time with Cinder." Blake smiled and headed up to her room.

"I'm gonna go pack."

"Alright."

It was hard, but I had to do this. She was going to be gone sooner or later so I might as well get used to the feeling. Unfortunately, I didn't want to. Deep down, she was still my little girl. She was the one person in my life who I couldn't let go of.

…

Winter came around and Blake departed on her trip. I took her to Sun's house to bid her farewell. They reassured me that she would be safe and that actually helped me out a lot. His family was filled with good people so all I could do was wait until the break was over to see my daughter once again.

When the next week came around, I immediately got to work. I went all around town, searching for some opening. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to work. Everywhere was filled with no interest in old blood like me. The times were definitely changing on me. Places nowadays longed to hire young blood in order to season them for a long period of time. It sucked for me because I met all of their expectations except for the age standard. Stupid humans and their aging. I'll say it again: Finding a job is hard.

After a while, I decided to take a break and call up Cinder. Luckily, she wasn't busy so she decided to come over to my house. I prepared some snacks before she came and when she arrived, I immediately felt relieved. I gave her a hug and invited her inside.

"Long time no see, huh?"

"I guess you could say that."

"How have you been?"

"I'm good. I'm just a little sad that I had to send Blake away for the winter."

"Oh right, the whole job search thing. How's that going?"

"I can't really say. I've been to numerous places, but it doesn't seem like they're interested."

"Where did you apply to?"

"Some schools, hospitals, and other small clinics. That's the best I can do. It's just that because of my age, it's making things difficult."

"Don't worry. I'm sure something will come your way. You just have to stay patient." I've been trying to think like that this entire time, but the way Cinder said it made me actually believe it. My heart started to calm and my body lessened the shake it's been doing for the past few days. "Also, I've been kind of bored by myself."

"Haha, I've kind of figured. I did keep you quite occupied back at your place."

"Um, this may seem kind of weird coming from me, but… Would you ever consider coming back to my place?"

"To visit? Of course. Whenever I have time…"

"No, that's not what I meant. When all of this is over, would you… Would you like to stay with me?" My eyes widened.

"Cinder?" She leaned in closer to me and put her hand underneath my chin. "W-What are you doing?"

"I don't know. Ever since that night you asked me to be by your side, something changed inside of me. I hope you don't think badly about me because of this,"

"No, it's just that… I don't think I'm ready for love just yet."

"That's fine. Just let me show you how I feel." She leaned in closer and pressed her lips against mine. Immediately, I felt so warm. Her lips were so soft and she felt so comforting. I slowly moved my hands behind her back and held her close. When she broke away for air, I quickly kissed her back and knocked her onto her back.

"Alex, I wasn't intending to take it any further than that, but…"

"I know. I just thought I would tell you how I felt." Cinder's eyes show wide open.

"But you just said… So, does that mean…"

"Yes… But how about you stay here. It's in a pretty good area and there's tons of space."

"Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have offered unless I was absolutely sure." Cinder smiled. I returned the favor.

"You know, that was the first time I've actually seen you smile. You have a beautiful smile." My face immediately turned red by her compliment and yet, I liked it.

…

When school resumed again, it was time for Blake to start applying to the colleges she wanted to. This was when I couldn't really disrupt her since this was a stressful time of her life. If she didn't get into the college she wanted, there was no doubt that she would be crushed. I did everything I could to support her. I also kept it a secret that Cinder was moving. She didn't need to know that detail at the time. And plus, Cinder mostly worked graveyard anyway so there was no proof that she was even there.

Back at school, it was getting to that point where everyone was starting to say their goodbyes. I was getting a lot more than expected. There were even some students who I didn't even know who still came to my room to wish me farewell. Tears were shed and I was still unable to hold them in. Being such an impact to these students was the greatest joy in life as a teacher. I would be able to leave with a smile on my face.

Months went by and the end of the semester finally approached. Prom came around and Sun didn't disappoint yet again. One night, we ordered pizza and when we looked inside, the word "prom" was written in pepperoni. He ended up joining us for dinner which was very nice. Not long after that day, Blake got her acceptance letter into Beacon Academy. Another interesting thing was that Sun applied to the same place and got in as well. If anyone was going to go to the same college as Blake, Sun would definitely be that choice for me.

For the end of the year assembly, I was lucky enough to get recognized as one of the staff that is moving on to other things. Since there weren't a lot of people leaving, the principal gave us some time to speak our minds. When it was my turn, I honestly had a hard time.

"Thank you. I just wanted to say that it was an honor to be your school nurse."

"We love you Ms. Belladonna!"

"I love you too!" I don't know why I called out to that person, but it caused a huge uproar in the auditorium. Everyone started to cheer and cry at the same time. "I'm sorry. Back to what I was saying. I'm, uh… I'm glad I got to watch everyone grow and I got to work with so many great people. I'll be moving on to new things and I hope that you all find what you long to do in your lives. High school is just a stepping stone. Use this to find yourself and after that, you'll know where you belong. Thank you so much and I wish you all the best of luck. 

"Thank you for everything!" At that moment, everyone stood up and gave me a standing ovation. I didn't know how to react. I definitely couldn't hold back the tears so I walked out to the edge of the stage and bowed.

That day was incredibly sad. I don't think I could ever forget.

…

The day of graduation came around. We both had an early start. However, that was when I couldn't hide it any longer. When I started making breakfast and Blake was watching her morning TV, Cinder walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

"Um, mom, why's Cinder here?"

"Oh, she didn't tell you. I'm living here now."

"And when were you going to tell me this?"

"I was. I just didn't really know how to approach it."

"It's fine. I like Cinder."

"Aw, well I like you too Blake." I quickly finished up breakfast and we all ate together for the first.

During the middle of the day, nothing really happened. We stayed quiet since any word about graduation would probably make us cry. The time went on forever. Part of me wanted to get to graduation and the other part wanted me to do something that would prevent it from ever happening. Unfortunately, time goes on without a care about how I feel. Blake came out in her blue gown and I nearly broke down in tears.

"Gosh, you look so beautiful."

"Thank you. I'm so nervous."

"You'll be fine."

"Yeah, we'll be there supporting you the entire time."

"Thank you Cinder."

"Alright, well, we should get going. I need to pack up my things. I don't want to be late to the ceremony. Also, you can get a chance to spend time with your friends before it's over."

"Okay, then let's go." The three of us piled into the car and headed off to school.

When we got there, Blake quickly ran off to the gymnasium where everyone was waiting. On the other hand, Cinder and I walked over to my room. When we got there, I already had my things in boxes so all we needed to do was carry them back to the car. Cinder was the first one to grab a box. I was a little slower since I wanted to take in the air of my room one last time. However, I was quickly interrupted. I turned around to see Yang in the doorway.

"Yang, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the…"

"I came to see you."

"Yang, I thought I told you…"

"I can't. I just can't." Tears started to run down her face. "I love you. Why can't you see that?"

"Yang, I've told you this before. You have a long life ahead of you. I don't want to be the one who holds you back from the person you were truly destined to be."

"But you're the one who I'm destined to be with." I suddenly gripped her by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Yang! That's what you want to think. I'm sorry I have to say this, but you need to grow up. I'm sure that there is someone out there who will sweep you off your feet. It's just not me." Her body suddenly relaxed. She bowed her head and started to whimper. "How about you let someone else give you their heart? You never know what'll happen. That's what love truly is. It's simply a mystery." She looked up and wiped her tears.

"But… I love you." I let go of her shoulders and brushed her hair out of her face.

"You may not know it, but you have a fragile heart. Let someone else take care of you. I know you'll be happy when that happens." I hugged her one last time and she squeezed me as tight as she could. "Now head over to the gym. Everyone's waiting for you."

"Alright, what else is there?" Cinder walked in with such grandeur.

"Um, just grab that box and we'll be done." I grabbed my box and headed out of the room for the last time, not looking back or remembering the events that occurred in that room.

…

Summer went by too quick. Blake and I did everything together, but it just felt like time went by even quicker. Getting Blake ready for college took the majority of the time and I didn't want it to happen. I tried slowing things down, but Blake was persistent that she could do everything herself.

When it was time to take her to school, I was in tears. Cinder came with us, but I just couldn't handle. I cried all the way there, the entire time I moved her into her dorm, and for every other moment of that day. That day also went by too quick. When dusk came upon us, it was time to say goodbye.

"Alright, I guess it's time to go. Give mommy a hug," I said with tears rolling down my face. Blake entered my arms and I trapped her with all of my strength.

"It's going to be alright, mom. I'll be fine. You can let me go now."

"No, I can't. Please be quiet." Blake tried to escape my grasp, but it was impossible. She was testing the true strength of a mother and it was proving to be worthless.

"Mom, please, this is getting embarrassing." That hug lasted a few more minutes until Cinder came in between us to finally split us up.

"Wait, why would you do that?"

"You need to say goodbye. That was it." I looked at Cinder and cried even more.

"You're horrible."

"I'm sorry. Hey Blake, good luck. I know you'll love it here."

"Thanks. And you, take care of my mom. I trust you."

"Haha, don't worry." She wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "She'll be in good hands."

"Okay, bye." I raised my head to see her walk into her room. I reached out my arm, but Cinder was there to bring it back down. I looked up at her and she was smiling at me. "You've done such a great job as her mother. No matter what, she'll think of you as her hero and nothing else. Everything else is up to her."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Come on. Let's go home." She kissed me on the forehead and we got back into the car.

I said goodbye to a major part of my heart, but at the same time, it was filled by another important part that I was finally ready to accept.

The End

**Ending Note: **Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all enjoyed this story. I had a bumpy start, but I slowly got into the story and things just flowed out of me. If you could, I would love to hear what you guys think: Good or bad. Your comments help me grow and in the future, I hope to give you a story you all can be happy about. Once again, it was a pleasure to write this for you and I hope you all continue to visit my stories every once in a while.


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